the silent conversation

2008-07-17T00:04:00.003+08:00

saya teringin melihat bunga api
membuat langit hitam jadi berseri
terang cahayanya yang mendakapi
menghibur semua saudara saudari

saya teringin melihat bunga api
memancar ke awan dari bumi
bagai mayang kembang mewangi
setiap kelopak berwarna-warni

saya teringin melihat bunga api
sesudah mengembang, ia kembali
ke bumi dengan menghujani
gerimis halus bak permata hati

saya teringin melihat bunga api
jadikan malam ber-mentari
izinkan saya melihat bunga api
bersama-sama engkau di sisi.

yes, my frens. i can still speak malay. and i write pretty decently too.

and...
especially for inez.

i want to watch the fireworks
that make the dark sky sparkle
its bright rays embrace all
a treat to boys and girls

i want to watch the fireworks
launched into the sky from earth
they bloom like scented flowers
each petal a riot of colours

i want to watch the fireworks
fully bloom and then return
back to earth in the form of rain
like drizzles of gems and jewels

i want to watch the fireworks
make the night time sunshiny
allow me to watch the fireworks
with you there right beside me

2008-07-16T23:35:00.000+08:00

pada suatu hari, ade satu orang manusia. dia tanya saye, "ain dah tak masok tarian lagi?"

saye pun berkate, "oh. da tak lagi.. belakang sakit.."

hmm. sebenarnye, cerita itu cuma half-truth sahaje. saye dah tak menari sebab rase tawar hati. kecewa. disappointed.

saye tau lah saye ni bebal sikit.. lambat nak pick up steps awak kan.. tapi setiap kali saya cuba sedaya upaya.. cuma tak diberi peluang.

saye tau lah saya kudut kedengkik.. apetah lagi kalau hari2 berkinja waktu dance practice. saye tau saye somehow tertinggi. tapi ter.. tak sengaje pe. saye tau la bentuk badan saye merepek, disproportionate.. tapi saya tak leh control seme ni.

saye tau awak salah sangka tentang saye.

saye actuali budak baik.

okla. tak baik sangat.

in fact, kadang2 saye jahat.

nak cakap saye tak suka awak tak leh sebab nanti awak salah sangka ingat saya tak respek awak. nak cakap saya suka awak pon tak leh sebab nanti saye berdosa sebab berbohong.

so in the end, saye tak tahu ape nak cakap.

sebab tu saye cakap yang saye sakit belakang.

tapi memang betul lah.

wassalam.

2008-07-10T12:50:00.001+08:00

hokay!

finally, i am ready to blog about HK. yes, after like a full month probably of being back, finally, u get to enjoy the pics. muahahaha. since it was a week long trip and i got a lot to talk abt, i'll be doing it in installments, so check back to see updates, and update ur ie explorer so u can see my blog in its entirety!

DAY 1 - HONG KONG (Lantau Island & Temple Street)

we left on 11 may, at 6.40am on a jetstar flight. yes, 6 freakin 40 am, yet, we still managed to bump into a few other girls from marketing who were also holidaying in HK. oh how small the world.

anyhoo, there were 5 of us, inez (xy), shaozhen (sz), kate (xr), huiting (ht) and urs truly (ain). here we are before departure, and right before boarding. yes, at 6+ am.

XR, HT and XY

me and SZ

Touched down at Chep Lak Kok airport at Lantau Island (all this sound like cuss words to me, i swear) at 1025 am and were shocked when the pilot announced that the temp was 22 deg cels. "shit!" i thought out loud, "isn't it supposed to be summer here?" but i was thankful actuali coz at least i got to get away from the humid and blisteringly hot local weather.

it was cool that we got to travel on the airport runway in a bus (coz the airplane landed quite a fair bit away from the terminal). HK is pretty easy to describe.. its like Singapore but with more neon lights, "mountains", fog, super tall and skinny buildings and well-dressed women. but i'll talk about that later i guess.

anyhoo, prior to the trip we had done quite a lot of research and planned our itinerary, so we pretty much sticked to it, safe for a few changes (for eg, we omitted a seafood dinner to safe money so that we could shop more). we proved once and for all that women are fantastic with directions coz the only time we got lost was when we followed xr's fren, who's a guy. other than that, we took public transport all thru the trip. in fact, we took all forms of transport - bus, airport express, star ferry, peak tram, MTR (which is their MRT), cab, cable car... and we walked. we walked a whole freaking lot. we walked everyday. we walked til we had blisters and flat feet. the hongkongers can realli walk i tell u. there's no jiggle in their legs, and they do it in high heels and tight pencil skirts.

but, i digress. being the smart, kiasu, everything-also-want-to-see travellers, we didn check into the hotel straight away. we left our baggage at the airport and went to see the sights on lantau island. here's us figuring our way from the airport to ngong ping 360 to go see the big big buddha.

the bus got seatbelt can.. safety first.

it was a sunday, and the day before buddha's birthday, so the place was reali crowded. i would imagine that it wouldnt have been so crowded any other day. we just sorta landed on a wrong day. hee3. it was fun nonetheless.. and a preview of how cold HK could be. fyi, the statue is the biggest outdoor bronze sitting buddha statue in the world. now say that 5 times just for kicks. to get there, we had to sit in the cable car for abt 30 mins. and its not like the sentosa one, mind u. its damn high and damn long. and i have a phobia of heights. so the pics were taken before i got scared. hee2.

we finally reached ngong ping village, and we proceeded to the Poh Lin monastery first because we were starvingggg! the vegetarian meal was super duper delicious can! i din noe vegetables can taste that good. and since its a monastery, it didn even have those mock meat stuff, it was just vege dishes but it was vegy vegy good!! tt was abt 100HKD per person.. probably the most expensive meal we had thruout the trip. but it was so sedap i tell u. beancurd skin with lemon paste dish.. i still see u in my dreams... yam paste.. springroll.. slurpssss.....

k. after the food, we went to meet and greet the buddha. but to reach enlightenment have to climb staircase can... burnt pretty much all of the calories from the lunch.

view from the bottom to the top

view from the top to the bottom

i know i wasnt supposed to "touch" the buddha.. but i couldnt help giving it a hi5! n he looks like he's glad i did!

after the buddha, we went back via the cable car, and proceeded to our first shopping destination, Citygate outlet mall! as the name suggests, it is a mall, full of outlet stores, from Adidas to Puma to Timberland to Esprit to Calvin Klein etc. of course i went a bit mad.. but i controlled myself, knowing that there would be more shopping in time to come. i managed to buy stuff for my loved ones at home tho. but them the more expensive things so i can shop for cheaper things for myself!

once we were done shopping, we headed back to the airport to collect our left baggage. and oh, we bought HK's Octopus Card for our stay there. its like an ezlink but u can tap it in a lot of places, like restaurants, bus, trains, trams, even ferries! our card included a one way travel pass on the Airport Express, which is a special "posh" train that transports people from the airport in Lantau Island to the main HK Island. Our hotel was in Kowloon, however, so we had to switch to the MTR line. but overall, its damn easy to get around and the locals are very helpful to foreigners.

so posh.. got plasma tv can..

once we arrived at the hotel, it was abt 8pm.. our hotel is quite a posh YMCA, located like a minute away from the YauMaTei MTR station. for the price we paid, it was a damn good deal. like.. less than S$40 a night.. in HK.. for a 4 star hotel. fuuh. and since it was walking distance from Temple Street, 4 of us decided to head there while XR went to a bar with her friends.

Dinner that night was at McDonalds. haha. i had a crawfish and mango sandwich from Mc Cafe. it was nice, the food and the 4 of us talking cock, feeling familiar in a foreign place.

Stay tuned for Day 2, where we went to Central to shop at H&M, to the Peak and Madame Tussauds!

2008-06-10T00:30:00.003+08:00

it bugs me.

the only time i reali feel the need to blog, honestly, is when i feel lousy, or angry or just generally upset. despite all the lovely things that has happened to me in the past month or so, this is the time when i choose to write. when im in this pissy, lousy, foul mood.

perhaps its cathartic.

yea. there's that.

perhaps i write when im in this condition coz its the onli time i dun talk. and the thoughts that are running thru my mind.. the god awful thoughts. perhaps i write coz i cant open my mouth. when im upset and i open my mouth, tears flow out, like they are somehow connected in a weird way.

its stupid. i guess i didnt do enough crying when i was younger.

things happened and a small thought was conceived in my head. i brought it up. "we should take a break. i need a break from you." "how could you do this to me? why are u so selfish? how could you hurt me like this?"

this is who i am. confident, assertive, cold, friendly, coy, on the verge of a flirt, or a slut (i am aware of wat u all think of me), demanding. but i am soft hearted. and i hate it. because i want to be cold, indifferent, selfish.

second time. the thought grew bigger. "we have to work things out. we have to be open minded. this is not working. we should consider other options. other people." "are you mad? how could you say that? you are talking nonsense. you are mine. i'll fight for you."

im not yours. i dont wish to be. you think you love me but all you want is for me to love you. if you love me.. well, i wont tell you wat to do.

the thought, now like a tumour, vehemently threatens to take over my mind. its threatens to take over me. i try to shove it to the back. back of my mind.

"we communicate. we miscommunicate. you misunderstand me. always." "its always my fault. im always wrong. im lost without u. dont do this to me"

and the final blow.

"now i know why people always think you're cold"

thank you. for clearing that up.

i am cold.
but i am not fake.

i am nice.
but i dont pretend to be nice just so ppl will like me.

i know exactly what i want.
but i am not demanding. i will get it myself if i have to.

i am not high maintainence.
and u know it.

i know more about god and religion than u think i do.
but i dont show it to appear holy or good.

i am soft hearted.
this is an observation from ppl who know me well.
i've never thought that i am.

i have a lot of love in my heart.
though it may not be obvious.

i am not smart.
i just happen to be a fast learner.
and.. u're not stupid.

as long as i am with you, i hold myself back from getting to know others. because i know you trust me. and because i dont ever want u to not trust me.

i am selfish.

let me be selfish, please.

turn your back and leave me. angels will come after your seventh step. and i shall be judged.

ps. as it is policy, the contents of this blog shall not be discussed outside the confines of the 4 walls of this webpage. please respect my wishes.

2008-05-10T21:45:00.002+08:00

suitcase all packed up and ready to go. and yes, u do see instant noodles at the top and an extra collapsible luggage bag on the right.

insyaAllah makan, minum dan solat semua masih terjaga kat hong kong tu. walaupun subuh kat sana kul 4+am and syuruk kul 5+. Harap2 tak terbungkus la ye.

leaving on a jet plane tmr at 6.40am. harap2 pray for my safety la ye.

auf wiedersen!

cayang awak!

2008-05-07T18:00:00.008+08:00

my life as we knew it has ceased (temporarily i hope) as i take a brief hiatus before trudging into the unknown, unofficial "second part" of life.

instead of panicking in light of the absence of a stable employment (and more importantly, financial inflow), i am thoroughly enjoying myself, doing nothing, and thinking abt nothing. i've already turned down 2 offers thus far and waiting for bigger things to come. i'm not in a rush and i hope my decision to wait will prove to be right insyaAllah.

wat better way is there to fill up time then to try out new recipes. so far, i've been really successful with recipes like italian lasagna and penne with cabonara sauce. also tried a recipe from nigella, deep-fried calamari with semolina and paprika which was so crunchy, spicy and yummy. i even made my own deep fried chicken wanton which was super delicious. and of course, i have almost mastered the british fish and chips, substituting beer for zappel of course. haha.

this week, however, i decided to make dessert. and as usual, its always a transcontinent affair. yesterday, i made a traditional chinese dessert, Tang Yuan. its really easy to make and fun to eat! tang yuan is a sweet dish that they sometimes serve for chinese tea ceremony or during reunions and stuff. it was originally made for lantern festival, but since its nice and easy to make, people now eat it all year round.

to make tang yuan, i used 2 cups of glutinous flour and about half a cup of lukewarm water. mixed it together with my hands (i wore gloves coz i dun like things sticking to the parts in between my fingers) until it was sorta an elastic dough consistency. IM SORRY i dun have pictures....... didnt even think of blogging abt it actually. hee2. anw, i then divided the mixture into 3. i coloured one of it green, with a touch of honeydew flavouring, and the other yellow, with banana flavouring. [im lucky coz all these things are always found around my house anyway]. i then shaped the dough into small, marble-sized balls.

Next, i added 2 cups of sugar, 4 cups of water and some pandan leaves in a pot and heated it up to make a syrup. i then only needed to plonk all the glutinous balls into the syrup and waited for them to float. once they float means they are cooked and i took them out. to make the "soup", i threw away abt 2 cups of the syrup and added 2 cups of water to make it "thinner". also added ginger slices which gave a very nice aroma. put all the balls back into the soup and voi la! DONE! the dish can be served hot or cold. since i put flavouring into the coloured balls, they sorta tasted like bubblegum, very nice!!

check out my tang yuan!

today, i wanted my tastebuds to fly from china to spain so i made churros, which are a very popular tea time sorta snack sorta dessert in spain and mexico. if u love cinammon flavour and cinnamon pretzels from auntie annie's u HAVE to try this recipe. i even took pictures which i hope will inspire u to try!

to make churros, u need to first heat up 1 cup of water with 50gm of butter and a tablespoon of sugar. once its hot, turn the heat off and add in 1 cup of all-purpose flour. quickly mix it up until it becomes a soft dough(it should all come together into a ball). next add in 1 egg and stir it in. if the dough becomes too soft, add in some flour again to make it a ball. now, u leave it to cool.

meantime, u should prepare the sugar cinammon. its just one tablespoon of cinnamon powder with 3 tbsp caster sugar. if u dun have cinnamon powder, u can just ground a cinnamon stick, mix with sugar and sieve the mixture. spread it on a plate.

when ur dough is cooled, put it in a piping bag, with a star-shaped tip (this is the best shape i swear coz it gives a crunch at the edges and allows the sugar to stick to the nooks and crannys). heat up oil abt 2 inches deep and pipe the mixture into the oil, cutting it abt 10 cm each (or wtv u like). i usually use 2 seperate piping bags, one for the dough, which i put inside another one with the tip. this way, the dough doesnt stick to the tip and i dun have to waste time scrubbing it.fry til deep golden brown, drain the oil on a paper towel and roll it in the sugar-cinnamon mixture.

and voila!

CHURROS! a spanish teatime that is sooo fabulous when eaten with traditional hot chocolate. YUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMYY!

with all these dishes and desserts under my belt, both my parents (even my mum!) have proclaimed tt i am ready to get married! FEEEEEEEWIIIIIIIITTTTT!! i urge u babes and dudes to try these really easy recipes to impress the heck out of ur parents and partners!

2008-04-15T00:27:00.002+08:00

alhamdulillah.

all thanks to god for giving me the strength to put this trying episode behind me, although i must say, for the first time in a long time, i simply wanted to crumble and not get back up.

its no secret, i like to think. not only am i opinionated, i also feel very strongly about my ideas. as friendly as i am and as much as i, and other ppl, like to think im an extrovert, there is a very large part of me who is not. in fact, most of the time, i like keeping my thoughts, my problems, my feelings, and any issues im facing to myself. i dont know if this is good or bad, but i do know that it results in pretty bad consequences. u see, when i keep things to myself, these things start to compound and the weight of all my thoughts start becoming so heavy for me to shoulder. i bear a burden of thoughts, like those african women who fill water in pots and put it atop their heads. (i literally feel this way when overcome with thoughts and emotions).

the thing is, i have a breaking point, when i feel i cant carry the weight anymore. when i do feel like this though, i tend to tell everyone who's anyone about exactly what is going on in my head. well, not evryone, but i tend to rattle off everything to whoever's willing to listen. but tts the key right there, i just need somebody to listen to my thoughts. i dont need or want u to agree, judge or corroborate, and for the love of god, if u have never been in the same situation, spare me from your "wise advice".

on that note, i think im actuali very clear on wat i want from ppl, mostly becoz im very straightforward abt it. if i want u to listen, i just say hey, i need u to hear me out on this idea. if i want ur opinion, i'll ask, what do u think abt it? if i want advice, i'll ask, what should i do? the problem is, ppl tend to confuse the last 2 scenarios. when ppl ask for ur opinion im guessing they're not asking for advice. they're asking for ur perspective on tt matter.

i have noticed though that most of us are NOT good listeners. and if i have to stereotype, i'd say tt gals in general tend to be more sensitive listeners. guys, well they're guys. they're horrible listeners. they only think abt wat they want to think and are only superficially interested in your problems. remember the scene in the simpsons movie when marge was talking to homer and a monkey was clanging cymbals in his head? tts exactly how i picture guys to be. they may look/sound interested at wat ur saying, but they're actuali thinking abt something else and while u are talking, they are figuring out how to bring in wat they want to talk abt into the conversation.

the thing is, they actuali know tt women need a listening ear and like men who listen and tts y they always PRETEND to listen. now, they've evolved and even ask us to share our problems with them. its not like they reali want to know. its just a thing to show that hey, i am sensitive and i care abt u.

im not trying to be cynical, but reali, i think its all fluff. there are exceptions tho. men who are good listeners exist, but they're as rare and elusive as giant pandas. personally, i find that the most sensitive (straight) guy friends (sensitive guys make the best listeners) i know are guys who are still single. honestly! tts y i like to hang around single guys, they are usuali very willing to listen to wtv crap u wanna say. but perhaps it is their sensitive nature which explains y they are still single. hmm. its like a twisted vicious cycle of sorts eh?

i brought this issue up not because i think i can change the way men are. i am highlighting this to all my gals who expect ur man to be there and listen to ur issues and ur woes. its never gonna happen. they'll listen but superficiali. and if u ask them for their opinion, they'll give u their "advice". which is so damn annoying because its so darn condescending!!!

a note to all the fellas reading. next time ur girl shares her issues with u, pay attention to what she wants. if she wants an opinion, DO NOT start ur sentence with "I think eh, u should .......", instead start with "From my perspective/view" or "The way i see it....". JUST DONT tell her what she "should do" unless she specifically asks.

2008-03-16T20:04:00.019+08:00

this post is gonna be needing a title and im gonna call it

"the bestest day ever with my bestest friend ever!" =]

yesterday we celebrated our 2nd year anniversary of our first date. (we take this date as our anniversary coz neither of us can remember the date when we officially became bf-gf. actuali, we cant even rmb if we officially declared ourselves as gf-bf. haha) the actual date is 11.03 ah, but we're busy on weekdays mah.

it was reali one of the bestest day i've had ever. coz i rmb at the end of the day, as i laid in bed, i was just smiling there like an idiot.

my day began with a morning wake up call from my love, and after the usual rolling around in bed, i went about with the chores. about noon time, i heard the door bell and panicked a lil bit coz i still havent bathe and was still in my shorts and tshirt. i was tinking "eh, he is still having tuition ma.. cannot come so early one rite? die la.."

i was relieved to see an ahpek at the door, so i opened, tinking it was the karung guni.

ah pek says, "Flower"
ain says, "Flower? wat flower sia?"
ah pek says, "Flower.. flower.." and shoves some pieces of paper in my hands.
"this one ur address hor?"
ain looks at paper then says, "yah.. y?"
ah pek says, "flower" and shoves a big blue box with a dangling teddy bear on it.
ain was still stunned so she just take without saying anything.
ah pek says, "nah, u sign here"
ain signs there and give ah pek the pen back.
ah pek closes my gate and walks away.

took a few seconds to realise that i received flowers!!! from my boyfriend!! haha. this is the second time la, but its damn big!! a bouquet of pink roses in a huge display box. and a disproportionate teddy which i love, coz the arms are long and the feet are big, just like me.

even ah girl appreciates pretty flowers!

notice that they wrap each flower stalk in a seperate vial. waah. so onz.

pretty pink and purple!! who knew someone so manly wud pick something so feminine and pretty!

TEDDY!!!!!

i was sooo excited and smiling from ear to ear altho i admit, i have always thought that flowers are over-rated, after a while they die and u have to throw it away right? well, i din know tt its this nice to receive flowers loh! but wat made me reali liked it was that it was in a display box, so tt means i can keep it for a very long time. hee3 =) smart move, ody!

it was such a good start to the day.. i never thot that my not-so-romantic bf can be so romantic loh! haha. mr secretly-romantic came at 2, after his tuition stuff, and he had another surprise for me. it was this.....

my favourite! hand made gifts =))))))) im so amazed at the artwork, it's so pretty! it looks very tattoo-ish, i din know u could do tattoos ody! haha. faith. hope. love. perfect!

=]

so both of us happy people proceeded to boss' house for the baby's full month thingie. but this part not fun la, so lets skip and move on!

we decided to eat at indian kitchen, so we hopped in a cab to head there. lo and behold, we walked past tekka mall to see that it was closed. aaaaawwww shucks! i dunno if we were too early or they din open that day or wat..

so no worries, alternatives in place, we decided to head to bugis. i originally had samar cafe in mind, but it quite a long walk there.. ody suggested fish n co, and since i hadnt been there yet, i was down with it.

i ordered salmon and ody had NY fish and chips. yummmm!

while waiting for the order, i slipped my first gift for him on the table, without him noticing. then i asked him to pose for pictures, so the reaction u see here is totally candid.

here he was, trying to put together the pieces of my heart with phantom fingers..

and success!

hee2. this puzzle was my original concept for a card. i am thinking of doing the same for my wedding invitations. so the guests have to put the puzzle together if they want to know the location.. hahahahahaha. if u're interested in the message, u can turn ur computer screen, zoom in and read loh.. hahahahahha. not!

after dinner, we headed to our next destination, the SINGAPORE FLYER! so exciting la!! hee2. while we were waiting for our turn, we took some pictures at the scenic (man-made) park there.

gave ody his second gift - hope u like it!

view of capsules from the bottom

and then it was time for our ride!!! both of us went to pee first, in case got emergency la. hee2. then we had to walk thru a scanner.. so tt we dun shoot or stab each other high up in the air.

MUKA EXCITED!!

SURREALLY BEAUTIFUL ANIME-ish SHOT of the big wheel

PRETTTTTYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

one of the first shots we took with the pretty skyline

notice tt we are going higher?

night shot of benjamin shears and pan pacific

spot esplanade, fullerton and swissotel?

this is wat the cabin looks like

ooooh. it was very high and i was getting pretty scared. the blue "squares" u see in the pic are other cabins.

in blues.

overall, i give the singapore flyer experience a WOW. it was reali romantic la, but the only thing was i was scared when it got high. u can see like the whole span of the ECP and even all the way to changi. i wud recommend tt u take the ride at night time if u want romance and at daytime if u reali want to photograph and see stuff for miles and miles. but if u like work in a very high office building then not worth it la coz u dun realli feel the wheel moving, it does so at a very smooth and slow pace.

one thing to note tho, the wheel continues to move when u are boarding. we were lucky coz in front of us got old man and he was slow in moving. so there was only a few of us in the capsule. hee2. so if u can try stalling or walking into the capsule slowly loh. hee2.

the day ended more sweetly with a heart to heart talk abt our relationship, how we can improve ourselves and where we're gonna go from here. its so nice to be able to communicate with someone without the need to put on a front or the need to censor myself.

that's why we are the bestest friends ever.

happy 2nd anniversary, my love!!!!!!

*MUUUUUAAAAACCCCCKKKKKSSS*

ps: i heart u ;)

2008-02-22T00:55:00.002+08:00

just a lil' randomness before i dive into the topic im here to write on.

before coming to this page to write my post, i landed on Blogger.com. i saw this huge picture of some geeky guy and naturally, i was intrigued as i've never seen somebody's picture posted on the blogger home site before. As it turned out, the guy in the picture was an employee of Blogger (google) and was leaving the company. They had a lil' write up of the things he'd done for the company (he was the guy who ran the Help section for blogger.com) and concluded by wishing him the best in his next job.

Somehow, it really struck me as "hey, that's the kind of company i want to work for". it doesnt take much for a company to show their employees some appreciation, but let's face it.. name one local company u know that does that. and this is genuine, not like the Employee of the Month crap with the moronic photos we see in Popular, KFC and the likes. That is soooo contrived. google even took it one step further by wishing this guy the best in his future, suggesting that they really cared for him as a person. the fact that they managed to do that in (wat is to me) an authentic manner is really sorta heartwarming. indirectly, it provides a glimpse into the so-called soul of the company which is sooooo rare in our Asian context.

which reminds me of one of maly's recent blog entries about her adventures in New Zealand. she described how warm and friendly the NZDers were. so friendly that they say good morning when they see her through the window of her rented apartment. maly said it made her feel sombong (stand offish) and sorta suggested that Singaporeans should learn to be friendly. i dunno whether to scoff or be hopeful about this. i think essentially Asians are just different, high power distance people.. its generally hard for us to let our guard down and just open up. i dunno y. its so difficult to wrap my head around the entirety of this issue.

The Beijing-ers are so busy learning english and "correcting" their so-called bad habits so as to make foreigners feel welcomed. what are we singaporeans going to do to make the youth olympians feel welcomed? are we even gonna care?

to be honest, i was really hoping Singapore would get it coz it would mean JOB CREATION. and i am, at the moment, a JOB SEEKER, hence the self-serving hopes. i have to say though, i couldnt really concentrate on what lee hsien loong was saying after the announcement coz i was so fixated on the legs of a certain Mr Teo Ser Luck (our illustrious alumni) who stood around looking sexy in his short shorts on national television. Vivien Balakrishnan was wearing berms.. which I think he shouldnt have coz he's got like knobby knees and skinny calfs. sorta look chicken-leggish.

(oh godd i hope i dun get thrown in jail for defamation)

but anyways, i applaud them for at least trying to look young and not so serious. its wayyy better than wearing the ahpek pleated pants. these people have got to learn that pleated pants make u look fat.

sigh..

alas, i have other things to worry abt.. like fyp which is driving me a bit nutso. so thankful to have minah and zhenz around. at least we can still make light of the situation we are in. and it helps that we all have different strengths and different ways of looking at things.. and we all step up at different points to complement each other. hopefully things will turn out well.. if not can kiss second upper bye bye.

sigh.

ive wrote so much that i dun feel like writing wat i originally wanted to write about. so i'll just leave it here hanging.

2008-01-18T02:06:00.000+08:00

i was speaking to a friend earlier on about our lives and how its changed thus far. my friend, being a hopeless romantic, still fathoms the idea of 'the one', a concept that i do still believe in, but from a different angle. u see, for some ppl, 'the one' is an imagery of someone who they believe happens to be the perfect other soul for them out there. incidentally (i wouldn know if there's any correlation), these ppl tend to be single. i guess its logical.. ppl who wait for their "the one"s to come along wont be satisfied with just anyone.

the problem is, what if u dont find "the one" that so called exists by the time u are ready to settle down. worst still, what if u had rejected the idea of loving someone else because u believe that "the one" will come along and u will automatically love that person. its sorta like love at first sight, which i totally tink is a complete myth. i tink ppl get attracted or sense chemistry at first sight, but they shouldnt jump into loving someone before getting to know that person. in a nutshell, perhaps what im trying to say is that ppl need to learn to love. "the one" is not someone that appears out of mid air, "the one" is someone you've learnt to love, someone you love and someone you believe you will continue loving.

if im not mistaken, the first time i met my beau back then at cafe express, i could tell that there was some chemistry between us. of course he hated me at first coz he thought i was very stand-offish and wat not.. but heck, everyone thinks tt about me. luckily, we gave each other a chance to know more about one another and look where we are now. along the way, i do size him up as a potential husband and i am pretty frank about it. i mean, y shouldnt i be? and i made it quite clear to him that if i think i or he is going to be happier or wealthier or more protected with somebody else, then we shud make logical and not emotional decisions. be like singapore, not malaysia.

seriously.. if jessica alba or adriana lima comes to singapore one day and falls in love with him, i would definitely want him to go be with her and live a more comfortable life for himself and his family. i tink that's when u realise u really love someone. when u are able to put someone elses needs before urself's. when u are willing to make that sacrifice to part just so another could be happy.

at the same time, i've learnt from previous experience that there is a fine line between making sacrifices and being a complete moron. trust me, u dun want to go there. the feeling totally sucks. but u know what, at least i learnt. and as my friend told me, i've changed my views about love or romance.

i am a romantic person, in my own way. but i am not a hopeless romantic who idealises an embodiment of a deceptive "one". i am grateful to be blessed with someone who lets me be and doesnt question me about my moronic past. i am grateful to be with someone who i can talk about the future with without feeling an overwhelming sense of commitment or being tied down. i am grateful to be forgiven and i am grateful to receive apologies for the utterly moronic things we sometimes do to each other.

sure, i can tell u straight up that there are people who never thought that we would last. and up to this day, there are still forces and people that try to shimmy their way in to try and be the third party. and sure, ppl criticise and call me all sorts of things (behind my back of course coz for some reason they dont have the nuts to say it to my face) for having other guy friends even when im in a pretty committed relationship.

all i can say is, i know who i am and i know what im doing. if u think im so horrible then come talk to me about it. or better, u can speak to my man about it. no assurance u wont go away with a broken rib though. *shrugs*

2008-01-17T00:40:00.000+08:00

i have scoop! really exciting, awesome scoops! well, actually i have 2 scoops, one BIG and one not so big, but still!! its news my frens, news! ok ok.. im all excited about getting scoops ever since the journalism lecturer told us how important timeliness is and being the first to report something. basically to inform readers abt stuff they din know! as much as i tink i wud totally suck as a journalist, i really dig the module.. cept that all the lecturers speak properly.. and i mean really properly with proper enunciation for each word. scareh.

anw, i'm just gonna hold on to the scoops for a little while and rant for a bit about my life. build up the suspense lah. muahaha!

i went to the airport yesterday to send little missy nic off. aaaaaah.. it was soooo bittersweet (for lack of a better word) coz its like she's all grown up and going away, far far away.. haha. oklah im not her mother but we are pretty close ya know. hopefully she finds more inspiration for her art there, staring at the big ben and the thames and wat not. i just feel soo excited for her, im sure she's gonna see and learn alot. girlfren even has plans to go to paris and milan and scotfreakinland! and the best part is, she's a filming major who takes great photos so im really looking forward to see all her shots when she gets home.. in 6 months.. wahhhh.. tts long.. but its all good =)

take good care of urself missy! and like chrissie said, dun lose ur virginity! haha. (im kidding, she's a nice, decent, catholic girl. chrissie is her sister btw)

ive got a new tutee. he's so adorable! he's a p6 boy, the indian eurasian type and im teaching him malay! haha.. just now we read a passage and there was this phrase "cukai airport" and i asked him wat it meant.. he thought its the name of an airport. kwa3.. so cute! oh, did i mention his mom is a teacher? she's great, she reali understands and pushes her kids to greater heights. i like tt kind of ppl. yey!

ok ok.. now for the mini scoop. WATCH Suria this Friday, 18 Jan for the sinaran hati donation thingie show. why? coz the NJC malay dancers are gonna be on it! my juniors!! yey!! apparently they were recommended by MP Hawazi Daipi.. waaah.. not bad ah. so proud lo!

and now for the big scoop!!!

* * * * * drumroll * * * * *

one of my frens is getting engaged and that person is.................................

**************drumroll****************

FAIZ LAW!!!!!!!

seriously!!!!

wahahahhahahhaha. he just told me that he's getting engaged on the day of my bro's wedding and gave me the honour of breaking the scoop on my blog!! yeynesss!!

as u all know, i loove weddings and engagements and childbirths so im all excited abt this kinda news. haha, i cant believe faiz is gonna be somebody's fiance! hee3. so exciting right??! i really really wish him all the best and altho i cant be there, my prayers are with them (his soon-to-be fiance is mariana, or mary for short), insyaallah everything will go smoothly and as planned. and faiz, dun stress stress k! you can do it! hee2.

im happy, can u tell? =]

2008-01-15T00:12:00.000+08:00

i just want to dedicate this post to my man, who doesnt get much airtime nor facetime on this blog despite the rather detailed and vivid descriptions i write about my life, most of which involves him in some way or other. being with him for the past 2 years have helped fix my brain a little and make me a better and more authentic person. my saturdays are for the most part spent with him, cept when he or me has got sthg important going on. this week we went to geylang serai, believe it or not. he's been reali reali helpful and supportive about this whole wedding fiasco, just bein with me, accompanying me to buy random stuff that we need. he's proven to be someone i truly can rely on and i'm sure he's gonna be smiling, no.. beaming when he reads this post. tankiuk so much dearie! *farts*

ok.. im sooo not the publicly mushy type la hor.. but tt was my best attempt. heh.

2008-01-11T01:16:00.000+08:00

so.. resolutions.

the first thing that comes to mind is that i should stop being so apologetic about the way i am and how i handle certain things. so far, i've rubbed ppl the right and wrong way, up and down, been able to click with some and not others. sometimes tho, i tend to give in, especially when feelings of guilt take over i.e. i get angry at someone and they play the guilt card and think i'll soften up and stuff. which i usually do because of the tak-sampai-hati syndrome. I need and i want to not be swayed, to stay firm with my decision and hopefully get thru to these ppl to say that if i am angry at u, it must be because u did something in a way which was a) not right, b)insensitive or c)all of the above. and y wud ppl tink tt i dun get angry? coz im the relak-jack type who lets things slide? well, there are some things that just reali tick me off and as small and insignificant and petty ppl think they are, it is a big deal to me. of coz ppl who know me know that i can be a softie or a firm, fierce person; a girly2 i-love-makeup or a i burp-and-fart-like-a-man tomboy and a compassionate and caring loving person or the who gives a shit person... it all reali depends on the situation.... i reali get ticked off by certain things. its like pushing the wrong buttons and then it suddenly gurgles and explodes.

next resolution is reali difficult for me because i am not a fan of awkward situations. however, i would have to face them coz resolution 2 is to keep in contact with ppl that i like(not romantically lah... wat are we, in primary 6?), friends and acquiantences, former colleagues, teachers, classmates and bosses. Ppl whose company i've enjoyed, once upon a time, but now seems to be out of contact.. i reali want to keep forging relations, i do... but sometimes i just couldnt take the effort to lift the phone off its cradle and contact them. and im sure im not the onli one.... why har.. y do we find it so hard to rediscover these ppl that we once cherished and were so close to.. do we reali become different people after a few years of seperation? of course there are some ppl that i do not meet for a long period of time and when we do meet, i can talk to them like i just met them yesterday. ppl who i was reali close to at some point of my life like my childhood fren nizam, girls whom i used to giggle with in secondary sch.. ppl like shahreeneh, the guides (oh im so thankful for inez who's been with me ever since we were randomly designated to the flowerpecker patrol), meera, the dancers.. and ppl who knew or know alot about me like talib, reeza and my dearest miss woodford. of course there are ppl, or more specifically ONE person, whom i hope i will never see again for the rest of my life. but for the most part, i hope to rajin-rajinlah pickup the phone or press the nudge button on msn to speak to ppl i've nt been speaking to in a while.

third and the last main resolution is the most arduous one for me (did u notice the increasing level of difficulty thus far?). i am definitely going to have a very very very very very hard time keeping this one last resolution because it is just so damn hard to do!!!!!!!!! so.. my last resolution is .........*drumroll*.......... to be more punctual!!! notice the use of the word more in front of the word punctual, therefore suggesting that i am not trying to be punctual but more punctual, in other words, less late. i KNOW it is a BAD BAD detrimental super lousy reflects very badly on me habit, but i just cant help it sometimes, which is actually, a lot of the times. sigh. reali.. if i had nuts i would kick myself in the nuts everytime i am late.. and believe me, i wud have very sore nuts coz i'll have to keep kicking them because i am late pretty often. i suck.. *digs grave* So, in order to clear my conscience more effectively and not waste other ppl's time, i reali reali reali reali reali hope that i will be more punctual this year. pls pls pls do not expect a drastic change from me and fer gdness sake, dun ever expect me to come 15 minutes early.. but i will try my very best to reduce my lateness, even to class. i promise! *gulps* i know i am shooting myself in the foot by writing it down on my blog bcoz when i come late ppl would really harp on me, but remember my nice, forgiving and saintly friends.. i am trying to be more punctual and not exactly punctual. seriously, if there is a pill i can take to make me be punctual for everything i would eat it 3 times a day.. but there just isnt, is there? so i'll just rely on my will power, which is strangely overshadowed by the urge to come late everytime i make an appointment or have a class. actuali, i could easily attribute it to my relak-jack nature too.. hmmm.

so there it goes, for those who bother.. my new years' resolutions. and how timely it is to coincide with the beginning of the Islamic year of 1429 Hijrah. to all my frens, alhamdulillah, lets give thanks to god for our life so far and i pray that we be blessed for the days ahead insyaallah.

2008-01-09T01:39:00.000+08:00

Surprise surprise! im still alive!

well, just to let u all know tt i havent died.. not yet anyway. ive just been reali reali reali busy with stuff, especially wedding stuff. and ive been reali tired and been doing a lot of thinking.. just tt i havent had the push to write it down properly. the wedding stuff is getting along fine.. im glad its just a simple thing and nobody is trying to outdo anybody. im lucky coz i get to watch and i reali tink tt i wud onli do a so-called "grand" wedding if we as a couple reali have a lot of money to spare. otherwise, its reali unnecessary, especially if u're thinking about it in the long term.. there are a lot of better, wiser places u can spend the money on. im happy tt my brother is so wise to not care what ppl think. i just hope i will be like tt.. do things that makes me happy and not care so much wat others may think.

im so blessed to be around people who love me, care about and for me, understand me and not judge me. im glad i chose to have ppl with a positive vibe around me and stay away from ppl with negative vibes. truly a lot of things to be thankful for. perhaps i'll think about my resolutions in the next post. and oh, happy belated new year!

2007-11-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

past couple of days have been rather pleasant, cept for the freaking flu that i've ended up with since this morning. i've cleared my room and rid it of a LOT of stuff, and i've been rather smart about doing it. i dont try to take on the whole lot in one go, instead, i go about a specific section at a time. ive gotten rid of all my worksheets from secondary school years and sold it to the karung guni for $2. yes, all my knowledge sold for $2. i tink i can get a better deal by selling my soul to the devil. i've also identified stuff that i dont use/wear anymore, giving away some and thinking of selling away some. we'll see how it goes..

the better part of my time was spent shopping with the parents. i really really wanted to buy a wallet but til now, cant find something i like. well, i guess i'll just raincheck that pursuit til after the wedding coz i tink im gonna spend a lot for it. im buying my own clothes for the wedding, an indian gagra and probably a kebaya. tts gonna set me back a few hundred smackeroos. also getting some "surprise" gifts and such for the wedding.. which will also set me back couple of 00s. but, its ok lah. my brother is getting married mah. so its more important that i starve and hold back a little on shopping (which is so blardy hard to do) and contribute in making it the happiest, most awesome day for them. =]

also, havent quite started on driving lessons, which i should have by now.. hee2.. tt one will definitely put a big dent on my wallet. and u know me.. im the type who really panics when my savings fall below my comfort zone.. so.. i reali dunno how im gonna cope. which is why lately i prefer to stay at home and watch tv because i reali feel bad when i go out and spend money. i really dunno how ppl can just spend3 and not care.. i feel so stressed. and yes, if u tink i fret too much abt finances, u're right, i do. i tink its innate..

i wanna suggest something to my dad but im a little scared of wat he'll think/say. i want to suggest selling my bracelet, which i've never worn before ever EVER because (a) i am scared of losing expensive jewelry and (b) i'm not really into wearing gold stuff anyways. the price of gold is like damn high nowanyway, so.. i want to suggest to him that we go sell the stuff then split the money, he take half i take half. that bracelet would not be missed.. its like in my cupboard, in a corner, still in the box where i dont see it. its basically something that i know is there but cant be bothered to look at, much less wear. but i dunno wat my dad will think of it.. im just scared that he'll be hurt or wat coz he thinks i dont appreciate it.. but its not tt.. i reali appreciate the other gifts, especially my mont blanc, which i also never use before.. haha. but, its something tt i see myself using in a couple of years. tt bracelet, on the other hand, is reali something i wouldn miss. sigh. how? how?

and then there's my mother who's another problem.. if she finds out tt i suggest this she'll be like "u so stupid to suggest such a thing to ur father".. but ah.. my parents reali think tt its easy for me to support myself u knoe. and the thing is, its not.. i've held back on a lot of things i want so i can make my parents happy first. tts very important to me. i try to contribute to my mum's marketing by paying for the groceries whenever we shop and topping up her ezlink card (yes.. im the child who gives transport money to the mother) altho i must say i still dont think its enough. sometimes i splurge on them, take them out to nice lunches and dinners and the likes. but like i said, still feel like i should give them so much more.

in sum, im just reali worried for myself. im worried abt draining my bank accounts. im worried abt my grades.. abt my fyp.. abt the wedding.. and i tink its taking a toll on my relationships with ppl because when i worry, i tend to suck it inwards and become more introverted. my mind just keeps working, adding and subtracting the figures and thinking how i can tighten up my spending. im also worried abt my green vein under my right eye which is becoming more and more obvious. i dont have the capacity to spend money on a good, effective eye serum, nor can i spend on Bobbi Brown concealer(christmas/new year gift anyone?). i get all quesy thinking abt the bank books dropping from 4 figures to 3 figures.. all tt i've worked so hard for gone! and what abt that garment steamer tt i've been eyeing for like.. half a year? i wont be getting that either.. not at least til march next year.. and tt is, if i pass the driving practical the first time. if not, then die, need to spend more money. and if i dun save enough money now, how will i be able to afford my own HDB flat by the age of 24? and if i cant buy a flat, i cant rent it out and i cant earn the passive income that i need to buy the condo beside vivocity.. and if i cant buy the condo then my dad cannot watch the sun setting over labrador park.. and my dreams of owning a prime property in a central location whose value will only rise in years to come will be smashed to smittherins.

oh god. i feel nauseated. i am such a loser.

2007-11-19T22:12:00.000+08:00

the weekend was spent doing pretty much every other thing except the thing which im supposed to do.. which is study. let's see.. i watched, or rather re-watched some of my favourite movies including the devil wears prada, and meet joe black on star movies and hbo; caught the season finale of the ghost whisperer on channel 5, the europe music awards 07 on MTV and this morning, the 2007 american music awards on star world. not to mention i caught the 2 jay leno shows and oprah primetime.

i put the blame solely and squarely on starhub, who introduced the entire cable tv hulabaloo into my life, thus subliminally coercing me to turn my back against the knowledge-filled books and notes of sorts. instead, the mind screams "I need to watch Xzibit pimp my ride!! and My Super Sweet 16!", not to mention the guilty pleasure of watching Kimora lee simmons drive around L.A in her convertible, wearing only her pink bikini on her show 'Kimora: Life in the Fab lane' (only on E!).

but alas, i forgive myself for watching the shows mentioned in para 1 because they are what i consider good, wholesome television. MTV's EMA was notedly and expectedly much MUCH much better than the american version, held earlier this year. for one, they didnt try to split the crowd up like they did in vegas. it was the traditional huge stage, fans screaming and singing together fiasco. i've never seen Tokio Hotel perform live, and i must say, i can understand why emo punk is in. the music was quite good actuali. but of course, the memory of Muse's AWESOME performance with the green laser lights on stage in EMA 06 still lingers...

the AMAs did NOT disappoint. in fact, it was damn gooood. LOTSA LOTSA performances, just the way i like it, featuring some of moi's favourites. off the top of my head, i remember performances by Fergie, Maroon 5, Avril Lavigne, Duran Freakin Duran, Rascal Flatts and Chris Brown. Notable performances for me were: Queen Latifah, Rihanna and Ne-yo, Mary J Blige, Alicia Keys(who ROCKED the show) and the Jonas Brothers (notable coz one of them fell on stage.. SO Malu lor!). there must be some i forgot coz there are just too many to rmb lah!

and of course, my favourite, the collabo between country duo sugarland and beyonce. u HAVE to check this out! Irreplaceable, done in country style. wahahahahahahahaha!

she sounds like chipmunks on steroids! thank god beyonce came out LAH!! but i like the way they did the "To the left, to the left", which was soooooo keeeyoooot!

overall, i way way WAY enjoyed American Music Awards better then the US MTV Awards, cept tt i prefered chris brown's performance for the MTV Awards, somehow. we all must thank Dick Clark for the AMAs. *claps*

so. yeah. that's my 2 cents worth. i guess i better get back to my little attempt to study before the bf screams at me.

oh ya, before i forget, safe newlyweds (selamat pengantin baru) to lalala's sister and thnks for the invite!

2007-11-17T01:21:00.000+08:00

expectations.

we all have ours. expectations we set for ourselves. expectations we set for others. others' expectations of us.

bottom line: we all expect, therefore, want something from people and from ourselves.

tts only fair isnt it? u give, u expect something in return. newton's law states that every action has an equal an opposite reaction. what u give u get back in return. some call it karma.

the question then becomes, how do you set standards for ur expectations of urself and others. how do ppl around u set the bar for u? wat determines whether the bar is high or low?

potential? capacity? historical analysis?

what would the world be like if we didn't have any expectations of people and people do not have any expectations of us?

questions questions questions. a melee of questions in this encapsulating cranium, none of which with answers. i dun think its rhetoric. we just dont know the answers yet.

i think... i'll just sleep on it.

DISCLAIMER: This post was written between the realms of awakeness and sleepiness. thus the incoherency and utter rubbishness. the detritus of my intellect, or lack thereof, exposed in one felt swoop. expect spelling grammatical and punctuation erros. expect. we expect seomthing from everyone. y must it be so...

ZZZzz. gd nite.

2007-11-11T00:56:00.000+08:00

i got my boots! they are gorgeous! the colour is just right! the design is gedamn unique!

sadly, IT'S A SIZE TOO SMALL! like hellooooooo........ wth!!!!!!!!

SO SAD LAHHHHH.

i have to sell them off!

50 bucks only, u lucky buggers. msg me on my hp if u want.

UARRRGGGHHHHH!!!

2007-11-08T22:36:00.000+08:00

have u ever wondered why..

we are endowed with

a pair of hands.

a pair of legs.

a pair of eyes.

a pair of lips.

yet, we only have one heart?

perhaps..

it's so we could seek another.

one other heart that is out there.

meant to complete ours.

...

...

my heart is stranded for the time being.

i left it with someone.

yet now it seems abandoned.

i hope its only for the time being.

...

...

yes i hope its only for the time being.

'cause i feel disabled.

now that i've given my heart away.

2007-11-01T20:42:00.000+08:00

'twas 12..

in the afternoon, when i heard the nice churchy bell sounds resonating from the loudspeakers-thingie on top of the hdb flats that i realised it's already november. and that i havent touched my blog for 3 weeks. how time flies.

perhaps some titbits and morsels of what's been happening in life (and my life) in general, so u can treat them like helping words in ur (lower) primary cloze passage to fill in the blanks.

(1) Al Gore wins the Nobel Prize. my response to that piece of news was a "Seriously?!" ala Izzy Stevens. while the debacle continues over whether or not a politician who flies around the world in his personal gulf-stream while talking abt depleting fossil fuels and global warming due to CO2 emissions should even be nominated for the nobel, pls also note that Yasser Arafat received the same honour once.

(2) Mark Cuban gets kicked off "Dancing with the Stars". Well, who cares. we dont even have the show here. Channel 5 is gonna air Heroes soon with the support of 4 major sponsors. I tink this is after everyone i've known ripped it off the internet and are now watching season 4 online. it just goes to show that channel 5 is poor, or that financial resources are used elsewhere. the widest viewed channel, perhaps.. which happens to be channel 8.

(3) I have become the unofficial "Malay/Indian" face for NBS. yes, i am the cultural representative of the NBS promotional video clips. i have never been led to believe otherwise. and they bought me lunch, from the can B beijing stall, on the day of the shoot.. which also happened to be right smack in the fasting month, which meant tt i couldnt eat in the first place. talk abt cultural sensitivity.. or lack of it.

(4) On completing his mission, Malaysia's first astronaut (who is claimed to be Malay although his name clearly implies that he is an Arab descendant) comes back to earth from the international space station on 21 Oct 07. On the same day, his younger brother walks into a restaurant, walks into a pillar, faints (thus hitting his head on the concrete floor) and died some time later. Sounds like a story out of the "U shitting me!" text, but it is sadly true. reports claim (and dr muzaphar himself said on tv, i saw it) that the brother was the happiest one out of the other 4 brothers when news of the space mission broke. however, on the day of the shuttle's launch, he told his brother that he felt uneasy and told him not to go. do take note that dr muzaphar's re-entry into earth was not smooth, as the capsule was descending too quickly. my parents conclude that the brother had prayed that if anything happened, it would happen to him instead, and god granted his wish. (meaning: it's possible that dr muzaphar should have died instead during his re-entry). i, a strong believer in academics and science, and i, who completely understand the meaning of "too much of a coincidence" cant help but agree with my parents' point of view. perhaps one of God's mysterious way of telling us something. not to be too happy.. or too proud, perhaps. (Boasting or "riak" has always been discouraged by our religion)

(5) Shopped for boots in city plaza with my beloved. lots of boots. no size. sad. =( went home. ordered one from gojane.com. american size. surely can fit. happy =)

retail price, USD 20.99. shipping price, USD 30. bought it anyway coz my beloved wants to pay for it (dont ask me why.. he's just being nice... i think). that makes grand total of USD 50.99. which translates to about S$75. an ok price to pay for such a gorgeous and unique pair. especially ok since im not paying. hee2.
ps: dear beloved, i need a wallet too. Braun Buffel perhaps? kate spade? coach? hee2. =p jk.
pps: anybody who knows anybody going to HK or taiwan or korea, pls tell me.. i wanna order kate spade knock offs..

(6) have had 2 mugging sessions- both semi hard core. will be having some hard core ones in the coming week.

(7) bought 2 new tops and new pair of heels. spent $58.50. the loveliest, fuzziest turqoise sweater from dorothy perkins at $29. (will upload pictures if i feel like it.) also, new green shimmery eyeliner and BodyShop mocca lip and eye crayon. totalling $28.80. will buy bodyshop scrub soon. need to scrub the daki off my body.

(8) gained some weight. i tink. i hope.

(9) alfian saat, singapore's literary genius and my elective module classmate, detained and questioned by the police for "verbally assaulting"(as one reporter puts it) NMP prof wtv-her-name, albeit through email (does that even count as verbal assault?). he is an eloquent person, and an intellect, an openly open homosexual man, who never fails to make me feel small and insignificant of my textbook knowledge and incoherent contributions in class. (its not his fault.. he's just too smart he makes us feel stupid) Did i mention that he is extremely well-versed in english AND malay? but he's 29, which means that im 8 years younger than him! which gives me 8 years to try and be as eloquent and smart as him. nvm then, i'll take up mandarin and arab and be quadrolingual, if there is even such a word. but i digress. my point is, i din know why he did that thing, but he has publicly apologised. and although i have a pretty strong hold of my faith (which is clearly against homosexuality), i am totally accepting of him, as i think everyone should be of homosexuals. i totally dont understand y ppl cannot accept homosexuality. i dont think its a choice. just like bapoks, hermaphrodites, khunsas.... i really really think that they did not choose to be that way. (although, i dont quite understand bisexual ppl.. like, how can u be sexually oriented towards both genders?). anw, if u believe that everyone was put here for a reason, then there must be a reason why god put straight ppl, gay ppl, hitler, george bush and mother theresa in the same place. right?

(10) i'm like totally hooked on buffing and polishing my nails. fingernails, toenails, my dad's nails.. u name it! got the Bodyshop nail buffer at only $3.90. will buy bodyshop pumice stone to scrub daki off my feet. i want a loofa too. the spongy kind.
ps: got my mother hooked on buffing nails too. yey!

(11) trying not to get hooked on The Wicked after solving The Wicked Junior puzzles in just short of 2 hours. interested? pls see http://www.weikiat.net/wicked/ . its addictive, especially for ppl like me yang takmo mengaku kalah. dont say i din warn u.

(12) trying too force myself to stop blogging and study. been successful (at the first task at least) but.. haih.. my finger itches to let my brain speak. what to do?

ok. bye.

ps: my tagboard account was deleted because it remained dormant for too long. orbi quek lor. now all of u cannot say anything abt anything i post on my blog! wheeeeeeee!

2007-10-08T14:17:00.000+08:00

i feel sick. i think its fever. i feel feverish. my limbs are painful. my eyes feel sore. my forehead is hot. i think i have an infection. i cut myself with a knife. it was saturday. i was cutting gula melaka. to make kueh jongkong. gula melaka is hard to cut. i neded to use a lot of force. i cut myself with the knife. i think i have an infection. many bacteria in malaysia. the wound might be infected. the wound is purple. my limbs are aching. i feel feverish. i think i am sick. but i dont want to be sick. he wants to take me out tmr. i cannot fall sick. i miss him. i dont want to fall sick. i want him to take me out. i feel weak. i shall nap.

2007-10-08T00:05:00.000+08:00

there are soccer widows and golf widows. i, am a study widow.

i am second fiddle to the books and matlab and design projects. he has been seduced by a vixen, academia, who messes with his head, causing him stress, stealing my time with him away.

i feel neglected.

and the worse thing is, i sorta brought it upon myself.

i want him to study hard.. get good grades.. boost his self esteem so he wont feel any inferiority complex. he is so capable, juggling heavy modules tt i would never be able to. for once, i want the grades to be in his favour. i want to see the positive relation between hard work and grades, which i find doesnt happen in a lot of situations. which is unfair.

but i feel neglected.. to the point of loneliness. but i cannot be selfish. i cannot take time away from him tt can be spent on computing, design and 'emotions in everyday life'. i cannot tell him how i feel coz i dont want him to think about me, thoughts tt could be spent on perfecting their kueh lapis machine instead.

i am just feeling empty. and the pms has been kicking into overdrive lately.

but we will survive this, ultimately. its just things coming together in a bad way. it will end soon. we must believe. we must fight. we must graduate well and get good jobs and get married and go for a maldives and cross-europe honeymoon and raise good children and take good care of our parents and give alms to the needy and fulfil our haj and marry our children off and die together.

we must undo the pain with laughter.

i will.

2007-10-03T14:58:00.000+08:00

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DISCLAIMER: Results may vary according to metabolic and anabolic level. Batteries sold seperately. Not recommended for pregnant, lactating and menstruating women. Pictures do not depict accurate differences because one was under professional lighting and makeup.No animals or ppl were harmed in making this infomercial. Really. I didn't threaten them in any way.

2007-09-27T06:17:00.000+08:00

my mum is sick again. this time with gastric reflux.

not cute okay..

last night, she did this really violent purge (aka, vomit) of basically all the contents in her stomach. we had roti kirai and beef curry before tt. so imagine wat came out of her...

hee2. (gross right? curry, anyone?)

i went to bed 10 past midnight. 10 mins later, just as i was about to drift off to lalaland, my dad woke me up. he was like "wake up, mum is sick" in a panicky voice. im sorta not the type to panic, so i was like.. *stretch* *gets up*

when i went in to see my mum, she was on her side, clasping her stomach. basically, she looked like me when im having stomach cramps. when my dad told her to get up and she said she couldnt, my dad said "i call ambulance".

piang eh. my dad is damn kancheong spider one ah. i said "its probably gas.." as i pressed a hot water bag against her abdomen and rubbed minyak kapak (medicated oil) all over her back.. she suddenly when "urgh!", cupped her hands over her mouth, take a few quick steps to the master bathroom, and PURGED. BARFED. PUKED. VOMITED. luckily in the toilet bowl.

the vomit was not the normal kind.. it was really violent ah. like.. the exorcism of emily rose kind. hee2. but i knew tt once she vomit she'll feel much better lah. so i let my dad do the good deed of massaging her neck while she continued the violent (sorta roaring) vomitting.

once it stopped and she got back into bed, i gave her a change of clothes and ask her to just wear a sarong so tt her blood circulation to her stomach wont be so restricted. rubbed vicks all over her back and neck and shoulders and throat and she felt better. so i went to sleep.

anyhoo.. the onus of preparing sahur (pre-dawn meal) fell on me of course. my mom has this uncanny ability to fall sick at a slightly off timing. coz today i have this nbs promo video shoot which means i cant have eyebags. but seeing tt i have to wake up at 4.30am, like hello..... the eyebags cant be helped. so yeah, if u guys see this panda girl in the ntu-nbs campaign, pls acknowledge tt that is YOUR FRIEND, ain. oh yeah.. my mum doesnt fall sick on any of the free days i have.. she falls sick on the day i am supposed to be camera ready. nice...........

not tt im spiteful or what.. she's my mum u know.. i talk smack abt her all the time.. hee2. but i love her (and i prepared a wonderful meal and cleaned the kitchen and fed the cats and all).

2007-09-11T20:05:00.000+08:00

i told u there's something about this time of year.

Anita Roddick dies at 64. for those not in the know, she is the one u shud thank for all the Body Shop stuff u lovingly lather on ur skin. all the stuff that makes u smell nice. all the stuff that is not tested on animals. more than just a founder of cosmetics shop, she was an advocate of animal rights who affected the way people think of beauty. she single handedly brought back nature-chic.

That, my friends, is a heck of the way to live a life.

wat are we gonna do with ours?

2007-09-10T02:08:00.000+08:00

I wonder why it is
I don't argue like this
With anyone but you
I wonder why it is
I wont let my guard down
For anyone but you

We do it all the time
Blowing out my mind

Just like a star across my sky
Just like an angel off the page
You have appeared to my life
Feel like I'll never be the same
Just like a song in my heart
Just like oil on my hands

listen here

wuff U.

2007-09-09T17:13:00.000+08:00

top news.. pavarotti is dead. he was 71. and he has a 4 yr-old daughter with the second wife. hmm. curious.

wats up with this time of year? like.. a lot of famous deaths. Diana, the last pope, 911. hmm.. does it have to do with the hungry ghost festival? hee2.

hey, we're having a triple celebration this year. very singkaporean. hari raya, deepavali and mooncake festival. so, this means i can have a ranggoli outside my house and i can hang up lanterns and serve mooncakes. i love mooncakes. every loving fattening bit of it. and i love the egg yolk one. each freaking cholesterol-laden morsel.

yey. ramadhan is coming. love it love it love it.

2007-09-04T23:10:00.000+08:00

keris senjata pahlawan purba, ilmu senjata generasi kita.

pantun spontan. dua kerat. sebabnya? sebab tiba-tiba terfikir pulak tentang ke-melayu-an kita ni.

nampak-nampaknye orang Melayu Singapura semakin rancak mengorak langkah dan menunjukkan taring di pentas dunia dalam pelbagai bidang. Secara semulajadi, bidang perniagaan menjadi tumpuan buat diri i. Sehingga terfikir sejenak, orang cina dan india sudah ada jutawannye, malah dah ada billionaire pun. orang melayu bila lagi? malah, ada ke istilah "billionaire" yang telah di-melayu-kan? kalau takde, mungkin sudah tiba masanya untuk ade-adekan istilah itu. kalau tak, nanti kalau i jadi billionaire nanti, tak tau pulak macam mana u nak memerikan i..

hee2. mungkin ade orang yang cakap "Cheh! Perasan taik.. Billionaire konon.."

Pada orang2 yang berfikir begini, i nak cakap.. "Relaks ah beb.. Kata angan2.. Mak bapak lu dulu tak ajar bercita2 ke?"

Pada i, cita2 atau angan2 itu amat penting sekali. Tapi, sayangnya, i dapati yang secara umum, tidak banyak ibu bapa melayu yang menggalakkan anak2 mereka agar mempunyai cita2 yang tinggi. Sebaliknya, mereka sering berkata, "Ah, biar ala kadar sahaja.."

bagaimana hendak maju jika cara pemikiran masih cetek sebegitu? jelas, suatu anjakan paradigma diperlukan terutama sekali, bagi mereka yang dari keluarga berpendidikan rendah, yang mungkin tidak memahami peri pentingnya ilmu itu dalam meniti kehidupan kelak.

pemikiran sambalewa sebegini selalunya dikaitkan dengan cara kehidupan kita, orang Melayu/Islam yang selalu dinasihati supaya hidup dengan cara yang sederhana dan bukan dengan mewah. Kami juga diingatkan agar tidak mengejar harta dunia kerana ia fana.. tetapi, bukankah kita juga digalakkan oleh Rasul kita.. kalau mengejar ilmu, biar sampai ke negeri cina. (zaman dulu2 takde kapalterbang beb.. kalau nak ke negeri cina menaiki unta.. memakan masa sehingga 3 bulan hanya untuk sampai ke tempatnya).

mencari ilmu dan meningkatkan diri bukan soal periuk nasi perseorangan sahaja.. ini menjadi soal rumpun dan masyarakat kita.

jika dibandingkan dengan jiran2 kami yang besar2 belaka dan berjuta-juta lemon pula penduduknya, masyarakat kami di Singapura boleh dikatakan masyarakat contoh. sudah ada nama yang terbilang dan ramai yang bermastautin di negara orang.. kalau dulu orang "berlayar" kerana merajuk.. kini orang "terbang" ke negara lain kerana peluang yang lebih baik.

teringat pada pepatah, "Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, baik lagi negeri sendiri".

masih relevan lagikah peribahasa ini?

walauapapun, kami masih banyak lagi ketinggalan, terutama dalam bidang perniagaan. sebagai penuntut bidang ini, saya tahu yang perbezaan kemahiran berniaga antara bangsa melayu dan bangsa2 lain amat ketara sekali. pada persepsi i, ramai yang menjadikan undang2 perniagaan Islam, seperti riba' atau isu "duit bunga" sebagai alasan. sebenarnya, jika sesuatu perniagaan itu diamati, kejadian riba' itu sukar untuk berlaku kerana adanya "hidden costs" yang terselit2 dan yang selalu kita lupa untuk ambil kira. A thorough knowledge in accounting will make you realise that there is a lot more cost involved in running an enterprise than what is written in your balance sheet. Yang penting tu niat kita biarlah baik beb..

"Kalau asal benih yang baik, jatuh ke laut menjadi pulau".

i fikir, sudah tiba masanya untuk kita runtuhkan tempurung usang yang kita duduki ini. i fikir, sudah tiba masanya kita berhenti main sembunyik2. i fikir, semangat gotong royong yang dulu ada di kampong harus dirombak dan diapplikasikan kepada rumpun melayu secara umumnya.

kenapa? sebab kami cintakan rumpun kami.. kami percaya yang takkan melayu hilang di dunia.. dan walaupun i ni sememang-memangnya sekadar melayu celup dan dalam kad merah jambu terpampang INDIAN sebagai kaum i, i lebih senang dikenali sebagai seorang melayu.. sungguhpun i tak pernah mendapat pendidikan percuma sebab my IC SAYS THAT I AM NOT MALAY.

begitu kuat daya tarikan rumpun melayu ini sehingga orang yang tak sepatutnya tergolong dalam kaum ni nak join sekaki. We have a lot of unique talents as a community, complete with high moral and ethical standards. Isn't it time we did something for our own people?

sigh.

Kemenyan sebesar lutut jika tidak dibakar tiada berbau beb.

2007-09-03T12:58:00.000+08:00

this is a sexy, raunchy clip of a furry, warm feline fatale with green almond eyes..

and she's eating french fries..

2007-08-30T13:27:00.000+08:00

had my first major oh-shit moment this sem. was checking my email account when i saw one which read: PLEASE READ:: You have been selected as a Host for Singapore Fashion Week 2007.

oh shit.

As i double-clicked on that line, i prayed there was some grave error and someone missed the word "not" between the words "have" and "been". seriously, not a cute error to make.

email opens...

dear students,

thank you for your interest in Singapore Fashion Week (SFW) 2007.

We are glad to inform that you have been selected as a host for SFW07.

as if to slap me into consciousness and out of denial, the word host was underlined and bolded. seriously not cute ok..

took me a few seconds to register tt they weren't kidding.. that i had really been selected. and the oh shit feeling just grew immense. no.. the words happy and overjoyed are FAR from how i would describe it. i was just shocked............ but.. but.. how? i seriously, totally, obviuosly blew the interview..

*******

*flashback*

Interviewer: So, could you tell me 3 local designer labels you know?

(Inside my brain: RETRIVE LOCAL DESIGNER INFO.... toot toot toot.... DATA NOT FOUND! DATA NOT FOUND! oooh.. doughnuts.......)

Me: Err.. local.. designers...emm... heehee.. local huh.... designers... hmmm.........................

Interviewer: So you're not familiar with any local labels?

Me: *Sheepish* umm.. y..ye..yeah.. but like.. umm.. i know where they sell them.. dun know their label names.. hee2...

(Guilty conscience goes into overdrive: LIAR! LIAR! U Only buy clothes from THIS Fashion!)

Interviewer: Ok.. what about.. can you tell me the 5 design schools in Singapore?

(Small voice in head: Whoa. Got 5 ah?)

Me: Umm. Laselle.. NAFA.. yup.. and.. and.. you know.. the rest..

*end flashback*
*********

ya balls.. tts how bad the interview went. and im sooooooo not exagerating.. and from the list i saw, there must've been 100 applicants at least.. and i tink about 30 were chosen. so seriously, odds were way beyond and against me man. i was certain i wouldn get it so i threw the schedule they gave away the last time i cleaned my room.

dooood. its fashion fer gdness sake. soooooo not my forte...

but.. for the sake of experience, im up for it. worse come to worse i'll just make the buyers drink themselves silly on Tiger beer and chilli crabs.

but really.. i still cant get over the oh-shitness of this...

2007-08-26T23:09:00.000+08:00

its been a hell of a week for mokey and i. he had his wisdom tooth extracted. Both upper and lower, mind you. At the same time. my gosh. at the beginning when i was waiting for him and heard his sorta muffled yelling (u know, like the dentist had his mouth opened with stuff inside so he cudn really yell properly) i thought, gosh, try to remain happy and upbeat for his sake. when it was over and we were waiting for the doc to prescribe meds, tears flowed freely from his eyes. dude.. that is a big guy who could do a deadlift with my weight.. to have him in that zombified state, was scary.. i could imagine the excrutiating pain he went thru. realli. its like, it hurt so bad he was just in a state of shock. i bet its sorta like loosing someone u're really close to. it hurts so much that it becomes sorta surreal and u become dazed.

ok. second para.

later, in the cab, he described how his bottom teeth was severed, hammered and chiseled in two and pryed out of his gums. trying to imagine it was like having a 300-esque battle sequence (as in 300 the movie). his upper tooth was tugged out with a contraption akin to a nutcracker, only for the dentist to find out that he had one long root and one short root. somehow this created a hole from his nasal passage, through to his gums. imagine this, if he closes his nose and blows, some air actuali escapes thru the gums, into the mouth. how revoltingly cool is that?

anw, the dentist had to patch up the hole. BY SEWING. mokey describe the "needle" as a sickle shaped thing.. like the one a death reaper has. only its a small mini sickle death reaper thing in the hands of an equally cruel dentist. (at this juncture, an evil laugh sound effect would be nice: MuahahhahahahaW). i can almost imagine it piercing through my gums as he described it. i mean, i bite on a fish bone and tears well up, wat more a sick mini sickle of death thing!

sick mini sickle.. aah. the joys of a Freudian slip.

been coming up with a lot of strange (and estranged) business ideas lately. dunno why the sudden spurt of creativity. never thought of myself as the entreupreneuring kind. in fact, not even sure how to spell the word.

bygones.

well, at least i figured that business are for really hard-working and driven ppl.. and i. hmm. not quite close. i do think that im the sort capable of generating ideas.. but i need wat u call a "runner" to sort of implement things. and there are only a select few ppl that i know and love that i trust to have a partnership with, one of which i dont get to see as much as i'd like (shoutout: miss midori).

spurts. it seems that i do everything in spurts. i start with something, totally falls in love with it, totally in the game then totally becomes disinterested and the cycle repeats itself all over again. it happens with everything.. my readings i do in spurts, my earrings i make in spurts, my religious studies i do in spurts. consistency.. hmm.. never quite got a grasp of tt concept.

sometimes i feel quite dejected and incapable when i know that in fact, i am not. sure, there are people who are better than me.. but im sure im better than some ppl too.

to be different.. to stand out from others.. that is something which i always wanna do. to think about it, i think we all think that we are different from other ppl around us. False Uniqueness Bias (look it up, its a legitimate psych term). i tink i should stop being different and try to be the same instead. look at how successful ppl have chartered their way to the top and try to emulate. i mean seriously, since my plan for being different and for standing out from the rest hasnt quite taken off, i find the former a very viable alternative.

sorta sucks that i have the tendency to do things half-way. need someone or something to change this.

2007-08-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

SINGAPORE FIREWORKS FESTIVAL 2007

(Saturday, August 18)

Showcase country: China

u are friend

u are foe

u blaze and rage

u are beautiful

u signify passion

perseverance and strength

and women with grace under..

FIRE.

(shots above captured with Sony Ericsson W 850I. shots below captured with Nikon D70 digital SLR)

Thank you Fhary & Ferhy (pronounced fairy & furry) for letting me tag along during ur date. i dont make the best photography subject, but at least im the best gooseberry to have around. hee2. i looooove u both to bits and smitherins, MUUAAACCCCKKKS!

2007-08-14T12:24:00.000+08:00

yey, my daddy is celebrating his 52nd bday tmr. 3 more years til he sponsors my Lasik surgery. haha.

as u all know, i love my daddy, A LOT. so i cant wait to hug him and kiss him and wish him a happy birthday tmr morning. yey! i tink i'm gonna get either the anderson's ice cream strawberry ice cream cake or the prima deli mango twirl cake tmr. then we can eat cake! yeyness!

im going shopping with mokey after his lessons today. the boy needs some pants coz pak yaacob is goin to visit his mendaki tuition place this saturday. and we need to find a shirt to go for jemputans. and i need running shoes coz mine are just whacked out.

saturday is going to suck for me coz mokey is gonna b busy doing his own thing, leaving me lonely and dateless. so if any of u wants to take me out for fireworks, holler.

i feel so sian and lazy and like a part time student instead. its tt draggy feeling tt i cant shrug off and dont quite know how to describe. dots.

2007-08-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

finally! the long awaited KL trip post! haha.

by now u guys must be used to me not updating so regularly right. i blame it on fyp. ahahahahahaha. because my timetable is so slack tt i cant blame it on school lah.

ANW, the trip was just wat i wanted it to be lah! i SHOPPED til i had flat feet, ATE til i was permanently boncet and i spent lotsa time with MOKeY and Fhary! YEYNESS!

this trip was different for me coz i wasnt with my parents and i stayed at bukit bintang instead of KLCC area, so i felt i was immersed in the KL-ness of things la. another reali reali striking difference this time was the sheer number of arabs who were there! i mean like seriously, everywhere u turned u'll see arabs! it was like the first time i went to malaysia and saw soooooo many pretty ladies la. OMG...... these middle eastern ppl have have really DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS eyes!! and they know how to play it up so effectively i tell ya. omgosh..... its like u turn everywhere and beautiful eyes were looking back at u from every direction. actuali we came to learn that it was sorta summer vacation period for arabs and it's damn hot there, so they come to msia for a bit of R&R. i tink they damn rich la. most of the women wear the black robe, but the handbags they carry are like PRADA la, LV lah, MIU MIU la, and their shades were CHANEL la, VERSACE la, wat la. KAO. liddat one u know. but their eyes and their complexion are reali reali nice la. tho its funny that i din see any cute arab guys. it was onli the ladies who really like whoa nelly! gorgeous la.

anyhoo, the trip there took about 4.5 hours in total, including a half hour rest stop at machap. we took the VIP transnational coach for RM23.90 and it was reali comfortable leh. the hotel was Agora, which is smack in the middle of Bukit Bintang which is the orchard road of KL la. its not fantastic, but for about $50 per person for 2 nights, it was quite alright la. ou ya, i shud warn u tt its next to a club, so at night it went BOOm BOOM BOOM BOOM. haha. but i slept thru it. we all did. haha.

and if there was one thing that i reali reali loved about KL, its the freedom of choice when it came to food!! knowing how sucky the halal food choice here is, it was really a welcomed change to be somewhere where u can eat like at most restaurants.so, needless to say, we really binged la. the highlight for me was the sushi bar, where i got to eat my UNAGI and much awaited SOFT SHELL CRAB!!!!!! we also ate some very nice hainanese chicken rice at this new restaurant opposite Bukit Bintang Plaza. the roasted chicken is to die for, the skin is crispy, almost peking duck-esque. the cuttlefish is nice too! we also went to kenny rogers and hard rock cafe. the burger was oh-my-god yummeh and the mac and cheese was mmm mmm good lah! along the way we snacked alot too.. oh gosh, and how can i forget stealing a dunkin donut from mokey's box on the coach ride back. a dozen for 18RM and there is NO NEED TO QUEUE WATSOEVER. sighh. y is the world so unfair when it comes to doughnuts.....

we did our fair share of touristy things too!!!!! seriously, how many of u have been up the Petronas sky bridge before? the queue for THAT was damn massive la. we got to KLCC at like 8.15 am and we only got the tix for the 5.15pm entry la!! and imagine, mokey had to stand in line for one and a half hours without breakfast!! im proud of u mokey! we also went up the EYE ON MSIA thingie! tt was a like horrible experience for me coz i dun like to be suspended in air by a mechanical thing that may malfunction at any time. its like i watch too many episodes of "Seconds from Disaster" ya know and these things are like always at the back of my mind!! ou yeah, we went to Petaling Street and Masjid India too! and these places brings me to my last and favourite point,

SHOPPING!!!!!!

oh my god! i went nuts shopping there la. some of the stuff were like soooo cheap. i had soo many best buys but my bestest buy was definitely the bra la! went to their MEtro at berjaya times and bought 3 Pierre Cardin bras which were on sale for only RM58 laaaaaaa. thats like less than RM20 for each which is less than $10 for each bra. and its PIERRE CARDIN u know, seamless some more. here, with $10 u can only get like those pasar bras. waaa. if i went by myself i wudve bought more la, but since i went with kak fhar, i refrained coz i din wan her to tink tt i was a lunatic. also bought 4 really nice Cotton Planet boy shorts with cute prints at the back for only RM15!!! at La Senza, the cheapest is 6 for $45!! besides innerwear, i also bought outer wear laaa.. got a wrap top for RM10 and embroided fabric (kain bersulam) for kebaya at only RM5o at Masjid India!!! damn cheap la! also bought a reaaali nice quited bag at PS for 40 RM. actuali can bargain cheaper la but i was sooo tired at tt time.. oh ya, and how can i forget shoes! and being in KL, how can i forget VNC, or VINCCI! bought a nice pair of blue-green flats at RM39.90 which were not fantastically cheap but cheap enuf lah! haha. got other things like a telekung, some kaftans for my mumsy, random stuff or my dad and oh ya, M.A.C liquid eyeliner for RM10. okay, i dunno if its those going to expire type or pirated type or the casing and box is original but the contents is not. but it doesnt matter lah, just want to try try test test. haha!

overall, it was reali nice to have a getaway like dat. kl is nice minus the pickpockets, traffic jams and air pollution. i even think the sales ppl are nicer there. yeap, i said it. we realli need to buck up in that area man...

hokaylah, some pictures to accompany this post which had probably broken the record for most number of exclamation marks in a post! njoy skool ppl!

THE ROAD TRIP

having breakfast at larkin

coach ride. travelling time was about 3.5 hours with a half hour rest stop at machap.

first shot in kl. taken by moi! featuring a dark handsome shadow in the foreground and the former pudu jail in the background. this was at plaza rakyat mrt anyway. the nearest lrt station to the bus station.

this is the bus ticket for the internal service in kl. u buy it from the driver when u're boarding it for the first time in the morning for RM2. then, subsequently, for the rest of the day u can just show the ticket and get on n off the bus. btw, the official malaysian tourism board hop-on hop-off bus ride costs RM38. so unless ur vacation is 19 days long, u might as well take the RM2 public transport. the buses are very new so they're damn clean and damn nice ah. ou. fully a/c-ed too.

This sign says it all : (Direct translation) Daily pass may be used all day. pls keep the pass to be checked.

yup! taking into account the cheapness of it, we decided to make this our main means of transport.

THE PETRONAS TWIN TOWERS

we din go in.. shud hav la....

it looks tall this way.

it doesnt look tall this way.

SKY BRIDGE TOUR

watching a 3D Petronas-is-Msia's-oil-company-and-we-are-rich film. love the glasses, tho. i thought 3D glasses were those blue and red cellophane paper ones..

Going up. the lift buttons. 86 freakin storeys. sky bridge is on the 41st floor. TRY SPOTTING THAT. the guide told us that the (Petronas) president's office was on the 81st. dont ask me why she told us tt. haha. i was SO tempted to say the word "terrorise" but i bit my tongue.

Fhary shows us the view 41 storeys above ground level.

That, my friends, is a KL traffic jam. yea, those arent parked vehicles. lotsa honking, yelling and some middle fingers flying around down there.

EYE ON MALAYSIA

Nice aye? Take a cab here. its at titiwangsa. u dont want to walk there... i hear walking is FAAAR..

if u look carefully, u can see tears in my eyes! i dont like heights, ppl. and tts klcc beyond my shoulders!

yeyness!

KL FOOD

SUUUUUUUUSHHIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!

thick yummy UNAGI!

YUM!

SOFT SHELL CRABBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!

BURPPPPP.

HARD ROCK CAFE. reali big juicy yummy burger.

sluurrrpyy tasty mac n cheese.

MY LOOT

ou. forgot to mention this nice and light umbrella. RM 9.90. ella ella eh eh eh .

nice underwear. RM 15 for all of these!

tops

i looove this bag!

vincci shoes!

kebaya sulam. not like those low quality batam n tanjong pinang ones.

RANDOM PICS

arabs on the streets

arabs in macdonalds

arabs watching an arab concert and we got a fantastic view from our hotel window.

outdoor advertising.

YEYNESS! more trips for me plssssss!!

ps: after all the fun, i left my fav sweater behind. it in the closet of room 309 of Agora hotel. booohoooohooooooo! R.I.P.........

2007-07-31T22:38:00.000+08:00

2007-07-29T22:26:00.000+08:00

whoa nelly!

wat a big week its been. for those of u who've been pestering me to update (yes you, He who shall not be named) and for those who've i've made promises to and blatantly chosen not to honour it, here it is! hopefully the length makes up for the long waiting time. haha.

20.07.07 was sort of a bittersweet day for me. it was my last day of attachment, and to show my gratitude in the best way possible, i put my own blood, sweat and tears (not literally, i assure u) to bake several loving dozens of home-made cookies! Zesty Orange cookies to be exact! Here's some pics, for evidence. haha.

le baker de unglam

auntie ain's cookies!

This cookie is reali dead simple. The basic recipe can be found here. I like to put nuts in anything i baked, so for this one i added Pecans and Walnuts. Alternatively, u can put in raisins and pistachios, they go well together too. i dun sprinkle icing sugar coz u know, ppl are either watching their weight or diabetic or sthg. tho melted chocolate piped in a zig zag fashion on top of these cookies are particularly heavenly! but u must remember to use orange zest and not orange flavouring coz that's just too tacky!

i reali like the containers too. they look pretty cute and the button tt makes the top pop is in a heart shape! (Altogether now: Awwwwwww...)

hee2. anw, to cut the long story short, my colleagues treated me to lunch. i had a scrumptious fish briyani (those chi-chi kind with nice presentation and all) and i forgot wat else ah. during lunch, they presented me with a gift! the gift came in a red paper bag! with SK Jewelry logo on it! opened it up carefully coz i sort of knew where it was leading to and i saw..

and inside....

waaah. i was like.. terpranjat boboy kejap. haha. its reali nice ah. wanted to cry. but sooo not me rite. so i din cry la. haha..

close up shot

the chain and the heart shape pendant are of white gold. there's some tiny diamonds on the heart and the 4-leaf clover is made of rose gold. i like! especially because ppl gave it to me. so i reali reali like! =]

after lunch the club manager called me into his office to talk to me. it was another nice surprise when he produced a testimonial for me, complete with the company logo, envelop n wat not. and one tt i didn't ask for n didn't expect to get some more. haha. like, way cool.

the highlight of the day tt i still tink abt happened as i was leaving. one of my colleague actuali teared ah. she's a 25 yr old girl from china and we grew close during my time there. we talked abt lots of things, past, future etc. haha. i hugged my other colleagues but she din wan to hug me ah. she kept asking me to stay away stay away.. then her eyes became red and watery. haha. like i was a bit sad to see tt ah.. quite touching.. but it was so funny to see her being so emotional also. haha. as if i was going to die like tt..

so tt was tt. the end if an era i say. after much reflection i tink i had it good. i was very lucky to have worked with reali nice colleagues who tried to not make me feel bored with the nothing-to-do-ness. in a nice environment too. overall, i wud say its quite lepak. haha. its just so coincidental coz last year when i worked for jocelyn, she gave me a white gold chain with a blue gem from taka jewelry. if everytime i leave a company i get jewelry then syiok man! haha.

Saturday was spent with ppl i love, F&F took me to Mad Jack at Jalan Kayu. Had fish and chips. the fish is reali nice! Confirm value for money coz its only $6.90 and the portion is huge especially the fish! at first i was eating, then i started to feel full so the last few bites, i was just stuffing it in.

ppl see them together and tink. "Eh, mamat cina ni dengan minah tudung eh.. cool banget." (Padahal mamat tu jawa pekat pekat punye).

Sunday was spent creating materpieces for the above-mentioned minah's 21st bday present. it was so strenuous! mata sampai keno wa cakap lu. but the results are keeeyoooooooT!!

Dollies at the sydney opera house

At the Taj, Mt Fuji, Big Ben, Leaning Tower of Pisa. at the same time! haha. nampak sah bedek.

M&M Dollies in our favourite pose. notice mine has got boobies! woot!

Dollies: Gone Shopping

We also bought an uber cute Anna Sui bag which i soooo desperately want for myself. but i resisted the temptation to do tt and bought a nice cheap bag for myself instead. hee2.

HEPI BELATED 21st MINAH!

On Friday, 27.07.07 my dearest MOKEY celebrated his 23rd. Hurrah! HEPI BELATED 23rd BIRDDAY ODY!! i was busy with tuition tt day so we celebrated on Saturday instead. we went to lots of places, mainly tourist attractions! haha!

had lunch at pasar tua or Lau Pa Sat coz we never ate there before. he had yummy yummy bbq chicken murtabak (with extra chicken of coz) and i had my by-default-dish ayam penyet. the place was not crowded coz it was raining. and it was past the lunch hour. hee2.

next, we headed to Sentosa's Underwater World! was so fun! me being child-esque (not childish or child-like pls, so tak glam) was sooooo fascinated! my favourite were the jellyfish coz they were sooo sooo pretty and nice to photograph and the giant fish. like normal fish but huge! like the size of ODY! i kept tinking.. eh wat if the tink like caves in and all of us are in n amongst the fishes. haha. fun!

wad a big load of crab!

pretty jellyfish!

i told u he'd eat anything..

we also got tix into the dolphin lagoon to watch the last show. the pink dolphins are so smart! din take pictures coz i was too engrossed watching the show la...

after tt we headed to the beach next door just to chill and so tt i cud give him his presents. quite bummed tt i cant quite afford to buy the bloke a PSP.. so i got each n every item tt wud remind him of sthg he likes. and i tink at least my efforts of saving up and collecting these items for the past 2 months have been well worth it! the highlight was kenny and of coz, Optimus Prime!

same kan?

optimus shoots the ndp chinooks.

We ended the fabulous day with dinner at Newton Food Centre. 30 sticks of satay, bbq-ed sambal stingray with cincaluk, deep-fried prawns with oats POLISHED til clean! yummeh! and being the special day, of coz the entire hulabaloo was on moi's tab. yey! girl friend mithali! hahahhahahhaha..

this weekend the kawans are going to kl so do wait for the post on tt to come out yea! woots! til then, stay safe, sexy, confident and flaunt ur best angle always!

*Big WET Sloppy Kiss for each one of YOU*

and a few random shots.

tts me trying the Sun Yan Tzi ooh-i-love-pantyliner-and-Sk jewelry shot

tts me trying the kate-moss-for-LV shot. looking like a philipino maid instead.

this one's prettay...

this one shows my eyes are like far apart and i got no nose bridge. like voldermort!

this one just so he cant say i favour her.

nice panoramic shot of vivocity roof deck.

TTS ALL FOLKS!

2007-07-19T14:34:00.000+08:00

i hate men. and there is an excuse for it. i hate men coz they dont have to undergo pms. i hate men coz their men frens are not super sensitive. i hate men coz they have it good. thir lives are so la-di-da. women are always trying to prove that whatever men can do they can do better. which leaves men to sit back and watch the show. they dont care if the women do better than them anyway, coz at the end of the day, the men at the top will only pull up the men. and never the women. unless the woman is like man.

being a girl /female/lady sucks ok. to deal with period cramps, PMS, mood swings and all. damn fucked up u know. and then to have girl frens who are so super sensitive that they are so petty about small things. SHIT la. girls are stuck between a stupid rock and a bloody hard place because they cannot surround themselves with guy frens because ppl will call them a flan/whore/slut (in ascending order) even though u are just frens with the guys and the only reason u want to be frens with guys is because they are not as sensitive and dont need as much reassurance and "No dear, u are not fat" as girl frens.

the next time my girl fren asks or tell me they are getting fat, then i'll gladly agree and say "YA! u SO FAT lor NOW. Like freaking BLUE WHALE ah. i tink if u jump into a swimming pool all the water will come out. u dun need to go jogging la. ppl can actually jog an equivalent of 2km just by jogging around u. eh? wats dat around ur waist? spare tyre for lorry ah? eh, no, sorry. that's just ur FATS. ur underarm wings ah. waaaah. just like wing span of the A380 ah. then ur butt just like the jet engine ah. if u fart and i light a fire ah, u surely fly up into the air sia. NEXT TIME u din eat so much HOR. so FAt aredi. in fact, u shudn eat at all la. ALL food are FATTENING wat. k. then next time u ask me if u fat again. i see if u slim down aredi anot. if not then i think cannot be saved already la. u go liposuction ah. u dun want to keep looking like a pregnant dugong dont u? and then if its ur body onli its ok ah. but i tink if u go liposuction then might as well do plastic surgery on ur face ah. because no point u got body like naomi campbell but ur face like rowan atkinson right. so, ya lor. in conclusion, u ARE fat ah."

y? y so much emphasis on such small matters. y is there such a great need for corroboration? i understand y ladies want to doll up from time to time. y we just want to stand in front of the mirror and smile at how we pretty we look sometimes. but this "Am I fat?" thing has become an international obsession and its annoying at the same time. JUST PLAIN ANNOYING. u think u fat then just go do something abt it ah. dont ask ask. AND PLS. DONT ASK ME IF U ARE FAT JUST SO THAT I CAN TELL U THAT U ARE NOT. i swear, i'll kill u.

ps: rmb i told u tt girls are sensitive? im sure some of my girl frens who read this post will tink tt im talking abt them. but rest assured that the person im talking abt doesnt know of the existence of this blog. so dont take offense. or else i swear, i'll kill u.

note to self: eh mabok, stop thinking such bitchy thoughts la.

2007-07-18T11:56:00.000+08:00

i am in the office at the moment. i read this and ended up crying. in the office. and my colleagues are present. refer to the post on 13 Feb 2007. i had to run out to the toilet to dry my tears.

maybe its pms. but if there's one reason tt makes me scared of getting married, this post wud explain it all.

sigh.

2007-07-16T15:05:00.000+08:00

i would like to formally declare tt i would LOOOOVEEE to hate MEGAN FOX but i cant hate her coz she's done no wrong towards me except be so freaking HOT and SHAGGABLE tt i tink all guys (and lesbians) would seriously want to make out with her including me (who might be secretly bisexual. muahahahah). she sorta has tt im a bimbo but im not blond, i know about engines come revv me up sorta look. JEALOUSnyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

actuali i seriously dont mind if guys fantasize about ppl like MEGAN FOX and ADRIANA LIMA coz they are truly hot and gorgeous. i just cannot understand and i HATE guys who like JESSICA BIEL. EEeeeeeeeiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIII. she is so YUCKS. she is so selekeh and her smile is so eeeeei. eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. eiiiiiii. i dont like her. i dunno why JT chose her. HE HAS SUCH BAD TASTE. eeeeei yucks!

ok. bye.

2007-07-16T08:24:00.000+08:00

hey... miss me?

haha. some of u with the wry smile telling urself tt u dont. here's some advice, be true to yourself. admit defeat. admit tt u miss me.

its been one heck of a fortnight i tell u.

Tuesday, 3 july 207 saw the passing of my grandfather. yeah. he lived with us so i knew tt it was only a matter of time. i was REALI REALI mentally prepared for it, but when i came home and walked into his room, i just stood there and stared at his body. i wanna say surreal but its not. honestly, it was more a sense of shock than sadness. i tink tt it would be reali selfish of me to feel sad because the only reason tt wud make me feel sad is i dun have any grandparents any more. like none. zero. zilch. nada.

tt feeling sorta sucks.

but on the other hand, it was his time and i can only pray tt he feels more peace. life on the other side. yeah.

so i took leave on wednesday and came back to work on thursday. when i came back on thursday they asked me to go home but i felt like it was quite pointless coz the burial was on wednesday and there wasnt much i cud do at home anyway. instead, i took another leave on friday coz we were having a kenduri. yeah. so, tt was sort of a short week. well, short work week at least.

hokay, last week was a hecka busy week coz my event was on friday. thankfully the event went on without a hitch. so, yeah. tts one big bomb lifted off my shoulders. this week is a countdown to my last day. so i probably wont be given any other responsibilities. which means 5 work-less days. ahahahahhahaha. yey?

i dunno how i wud feel if and when i re-read my blog in the future, which is y i decided to blog anyways in the first place. but i digress.

i wonder how im gonna feel on my last day here. i know tt i am not sad about leaving coz everyday when i wake up, i secretly wish tt it's my last day. haha. but i reali feel that i've been blessed to have such nice colleagues who dont take things too seriously and have been patient enough to guide me and talk to me honestly about stuff. they have also shared their wealth of experience with me, which kind of helps me to tink about what im gonna do later when i graduate.

im gonna miss the club tho. especially the bar area where they smoke coz it overlooks the sea and the sea breeze is reali reali nice and i tink i might be the onli intern who gets to sit down and enjoy sea breeze everyday during working hours. haha. (the other interns here work in the admin office, which is away from the clubhouse and the sea).

im sure i'll keep in touch with them. i still keep in touch with my ex-bosses anw.

in other worldly news, caught the newly throned 7 wonders of the world?

i tink there are 3 in south america, 3 in asia and only 1 in europe.

yeap. from the south american continent are the mayan ruins in mexico, incan ruins in peru and the humungous jesus christ statue thing in rio de janeiro, brazil. from asia, the great wall of china, the taj mahal in agra, india and some pyramid in some middle east country. its not the egyptian pyramids tho. some other thing. from europe is the coloseum in roma, italy.

compared with like 10 years ago where western "icons" like le tower de eiffel, the leaning tower of pisa, hanging gardens of babylon(is tt in europe? haha.) used to be heralded as the wow! and the oh my god! by people of the world. how times have changed. though im quite sad tt borobudur and angkor wat have been knocked off the list. but i tink its onli because these 2 places are crowded!

anw, i found out tt budget airlines like jetstarasia and tiger airways do fly straight from singapore to siam reap, so, my plans for cambodia are sooooo on. jay, come with me ah. then we go to kerala from there. haha.

i feel so happy for continents in the southern hemisphere. i reali tink we rock man. goooooo southern hemisphere!

2007-07-09T17:07:00.000+08:00

2007-06-28T15:09:00.000+08:00

im been seriously considering options for my graduation travel (grad trip) next year.

My family's not the type who travels alot, save for the occasional road trip to the thai border, but i've been to a few places (more than all of them combined, believe or not), and i tell u, i love it. i reali tink tt i am the type who can do heavy duty traveling. i mean tink abt it.. if the place does not have halal food, i have no problem eating seafood and vegetables everyday.. i can even eat maggi n milo everyday without feeling too bad abt it. i dun reali go toilet often and i can do with not bathing for a couple of days. hee2. i also dun iron my clothes, so tts not an issue for me.

my concern is primarily safety. i tink its pretty daunting to be in a foreign land, so i guess its pretty good to have 1) a big strong person who can bash up anyone who tries to be funny 2) a street smart person or someone used to traveling, haggling.. stuff like dat.

shud i do go for a travel, i'd avoid the shopping destinations like taiwan, korea or places like dat. even thailand is a bit too tourist-y nowadays. my ideal destinations are places where i can enjoy landscapes tt i wudn otherwise b able to experience, historical (and i mean like realli realii old) places and somewhere where i can enjoy the hospitality of the ppl without constantly having tt feeling of "they're gonna rip me off. they're soo gonna rip me of."

I wanna be able to take boat rides and explore caves and go to their local markets to try some indigenous stuff. things like dat. so i've been entertaining some thoughts abt places like Kerala (my "hometown" in South India), Cambodia, Sri Lanka, New Zealand and Sabah. budget travel is a definite for me. i definitely wont spend anything over 800 bucks for the entire trip. maybe a ballpark budget of $500 (including lodging, transportation, food everything la).

Right now wat i reali wanna do is find some travel buddies who enjoy the same things and are enthusiastic about having an experience tt is reali unique and different. Preferably some of us shud b able to drive so we can rent a car or sthg.. and someone who doesnt mind perfume or powder baths. haha.

so shud any of u guys are interested to join me on this mini adventure, pls do tell me.

otherwise, i'd probably go for a mission trip, i tink they frequently have trips to inner mongolia and the like. the final alternative is to drag my brother and sis-in-law la. which probably wouldn be as fun..

yup! so share my enthusiasm ppl! join me ppl, join me!

2007-06-27T12:05:00.000+08:00

dear gentle readers,

the following post depicts an excerpt of my life and features certain things tt i'd like to look back n smile on when im old and gray. pls do not bother reading it if u deem unnecessary as it is more of a self-indulgent thing for me. thank you & have a nice day.

moi had the best time this weekend.

saturday was spent with my dearest ody. it had been more than a week since i last saw him, so it was good to get to spend some time together. i sorta got sick of the whole dinner-and-a-movie routine, so i requested tt we did something else. as usual, ody was supposed to plan sthg interesting to do but he cudn think of anything. hee2. so of coz, moi came to the rescue.

we were spposed to meet at 2pm at orchard but wat happened was, my parents decided to drag moi along to shop with them in geylang serai in the morning. we left at 9 am (primarily bcoz i refused to wake up earlier) and reached there around 10. shop shop, go market, had breakfast and by the time they were done, it was already 12 noon. i din wan to like go home all the way then come back again, so i asked them to drop me at paya lebar. off i went then to ody's station to wait for him. he woke up at 11.30am and took 1 hour to get ready (plus berak). so finally, he came at 1230, wearing red, as requested by moi.

off to orchard then. first stop was lunch for ody (i had the geylang serai ahpek $1 bubur so i was full). we ate at far east(coz i havent been there for quite a while). actuali wanted to eat at the wtv sinaran place, but it was crowded, so we tried the rose garden or stg liddat next door. not bad la. but not good either. after tt we window shopped for a while. while walking around, i saw this bag in the building beside lucky plaza which was so nice! even ody tot it was nice! it was RED and leather-esque and it had a batik-ish design on it. the size is big enough to put
in notes n files to bring to school but also small enough to carry around as a day-to-day bag.

I WAS SO TORN!!!

on one hand, i din wan to spend money coz i know i need to save up for driving.. on the other hand, the bag was $49.90 after a 30% discount. it's reali reali nice. and ody was like so excited to see it coz he tot it was reali nice too.. but after considering for a while, i decided to safe some bucks and I DIDN BUY IT. til today, i still feel a bit sad coz it was reali very nice... sigh. had it been $35, i tink i might have bought it. sigh. i can still remember the feel and design of the bag. it was so me.. it was reali perfect. now, thinking back, i reali want the bag.. waaaaaaaaaaaa.

SIGH.

somehow, ody managed to peel me away from the bag and we moved on to our planned event. i tried nt to be too sad or make it obvious tt i was disappointed coz i cudn buy it. i know tt it may seem pathetic tt im trying to save this $50 ah. but.. i guess i had spent too much on stuff for my mum and myself in the past week, and i would feel bad if i spent too much.

still.. sigh.

yea. we moved on to paragon next. not to shop la. i had heard about a performance by david garett on gold 90 fm (which is wat i am currently listening to at work). david garett is this violin maestro (think the maksim of violin) who is german and looks like the late kurt cobain. some even call him the david beckham of violin. (For more info, pls read here )

he was giving a free preview of his music at 3 pm. i've been listening to gold and they've been playing his songs. though i dont know how to appreciate music, much less classical music, i liked his tunes. they're very contemporary n youthful. he came about 10 to 15 mins after 3, wearing jeans, a shirt and a suit jacket. he was so tall and looked pretty hot with his shoulder length blond hair and five o'clock shadow. but i tell u wat the hottest. he was playing this US$ 4 million Stradavarius violin. US$ 4 million! for a hollow wooden thing with some strings! now, that's hot.

his playing skills are phenomenal man. n his compositions sound even better live! ody and i tried to hum the tune but we cudn reach the notes. so there we were, on the third floor, just awed by his performance. even after the show we were still trying to hum the fast parts and we decided that his fingers were faster than our voicebox.

the preview ended off with a bang as he finished with a super fast number. good stuff i tell u.

after tt, ody n i went to the m1 shop in the basement to buy his new phone. he bought the motorazor v3xx for quite cheap ah i shud say. so, yey! we are both m1 ppl! free calls!

it was already abt 5 by then, so we headed to marina square for lunch at our favourite Marina food loft! when we got there, the alfresco place was quite empty, so we happy2 chop good seats. sat down for a while before ordering food and tts when we realised tt there was ndp rehearsal at the floating stage. haha. basically, from our seats, we got to see the marching contingents in their number 3. so fun! after a while, we got to see the chinook carrying the s'pore flag accompanied by 4 apaches. we also saw the 3 jet fighters booming pass. it was like ROOOAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRing pass us. totally broke the sound barrier man. n they were flying so close together ah. we also say the 5 jets doing the salute and the parachutists. ody said they were probably all the majors and colonels who were going to retire soon. but its so incredible ah. they only have a small space to land in and the wind there is quite strong so i imagine it wud b quite difficult to steer the chute. so i realised tt we were very lucky coz we din know abt the rehearal, yet we got a really good view of the thing! plus, im such a patriotic person! *beams*

the highlight of the show was when I saw this chinook flying from the direction of the IR site, towards the Esplanade. it was steadily going lower and lower and i was like. "EH, ODY! asal helicopter tu makin rendah! nak langgar esplanade!!" i really thoght the chinnok was gonna crash ah. u know what the helicopter actuali did? it like "landed" on the water. it was skimming like 1 meter above the water and was like splashing the water everywhere along the river bank as part of the military display segment of the show. SO COOL!!!! i was like so jakun-ed ah.

later on, we went down to the esplanade. i had a hunch tt there was gonna b fireworks altho it was onli a rehearsal. but ody din believe me seh. hee2. anw, we went to the courtyard to watch the performance. this week is all about fire fire ah. there was a performance by Wayang Alos (Dalina's dance group), about indian karmasutra stuff. very sexy but not much content la. hee2. while we were sitting during the intermission to wait for the next performance, the fireworks went off! unfortunately, our view was blocked by the giant durian! hee2. so we heard the explosions, but onli saw like the tips of the fireworks.

oh ya, btw, do take note, fireworks are at 8.10pm in case u wanna go see them. i tink every saturday got rehearsals ah but not too sure if evry rehearsal got firework. but wat i know is dat this saturday there's gonna be fireworks at the national stadium coz they are aving the "Field of Dreams" thing before she is torn down. (heard abt the lost time capsule? hee2. merepek.) btw, i wanted to catch transformers but im working this saturday!boohooohhoooooooo... upset seh.. nehmind, maybe we'll go n watch tmr. woot!

On sunday i went to meminang my future sis-in-law for my brother. with my parents la of coz. haha. it was a small "contingent" ah. onli 3 of us. when we reached there, kao, terpranjat seh. they already moved the furniture around and put tikar on the floor as if they expected a lot of ppl. hee2. rabak seh. excited kape sis?

but in short, all went well ah. i tink my mum and dad were like shivering during the meminang itself. like, they were stumbling over their words (coz everyone was staring intently at them) and their voice got all croaky n weird. haha. i offered to do it and throw in some 8-kerat pantun, dorang tanak. haha. orbiquek seh, menggeletar kejap member..

then another terpranjat moment was when they served us food ah. the dining table was literally full ah! there was like prawn curry, sambal sotong, chicken rendang, sambal goreng, serunding, begedil and like i dunno how many types of kueh. there was like chocolate eclairs, durian cream puff, putri salad, talam lauk, the black black one which i like to eat but dunno the name and dunno wat else la. when i saw it, i was like.. "Whoa!" (in my head la.) then the thing is, my family just ate our lunch before coming la, so like, my parents cudn eat! so, again, moi to the rescue. to show my graciousness, i ate la. bukan gelojoh u, takot orang kecik hati kan..

hee2. (tak mengaku gelojoh)

hokay. now for some photos! :)

the "dulang"

the ring box

the ring. gold, white gold n diamonds. lots of diamonds.

the fruit baaaasket. buah tangan.

moi n baaaasket.

my mom putting on the ring for the future sis.

this is she. harga pasaran 10 ribu darhammmm..

welcome to the family!

2007-06-22T09:13:00.000+08:00

this morning was so eventful!

it started off with me wearing a t-shirt (and cardigan over it) instead of a shirt or a blouse coz i know im supposed to help rearrange the files for the president's "spot check". apparently, the guy is a lawyer, so he's very particular about the filing system. i mean, he can afford it la coz lawyers have filing clerks wat. over here we have to do everything ourself ya know. so my look today is pretty casual.. the going shopping kinda look. as i went out, i realise tt i couldn wear my heels coz it looks weird against wat im wearing, so i decided to wear my gladiator-esque sandals instead. so tt was event number 1. my first time going for work in casual clothes.

event number 2 happened as we were waiting for the co. transport to pick us up. usuali my fren benett (nbs accounting also doing PA there) would be there a couple of minutes after me. the bus is slated to arrive at 7.26am but usuali it will come like 10 minutes later. we're all supposed to be there about 5 mins before the slated time of arrival la but i will usualli arrive at 7.25 liddat coz i know the bus will come only 10 mins later. sometimes it will come even later.. around 7.45 liddat. benett usuali arrives at 7.30.

today, the bus came at like 7.28! hee2. so technically, it was the first time the bus is on time!! haha. so wat happened was benett wasnt there yet when the bus came. so as i was about to board the bus, i called him and was like "eh benett! where are u? bus is here already!" then u know wat he said? he said.. "haha, u serious anot..." i was like "YA! serious.."then he was like, "haha.. ok lor. u all go first". he tot i was joking ah! so i boarded the bus then our colleagues (aunties and the like) were like, "where's benett?" then i told them he's on the way already la. i was still on the phone. the bus had started to go off and was waiting for the traffic lights. then upon hearing the aunties buzzing, benett realized tt i wasnt kidding. he was like "OMG! eh! im running already!". haha. so the auntie screamed and asked the driver to stop for a while and sure enough, benett came running around the corner. haha. it was such a spectacle i tell u. brother paiseh kejap ah. haha.

i came in around 7.50, went to make my tea, had breakfast etc and settled down. my colleagues came in around 9. then one of the girls(think malay girl with naeema's hair, tongue n nose piercing and couple of tatoos) was like, "eh nurul, u know the cleaner's name yang makcik tu tak?" so i was like.. "oh, nama dia yateny, asal?" then she was like (speaking to both of us, my colleague from china and me) "yesterday she gave me sthg ah". then she dug around in her (VERY NICE) hot pink le coq sportif bag. one minute after digging around, she produced a like 5 cm long nail! she was like "NI."

the thing is, this girl just moved office to the opposite side of the building la. then they say tt the place is haunted. the office is near the boat house and overlooks the tennis courts and last time the boat house got ppl die ah. coz there are like beams there.. so when they hang the boats in the shelving they have to adjust the beam. anyway, sthg happened la, then the guy who died actuali got his head chopped off! this is a true story u know!! not make up one! its a real incident! so anw, they say tt last time the person who worked in the office there saw a lady in white (pontianak) at the tennis court at night. so freaky rite!!

so basically all those who've worked there for long know tt the place is haunted ah. and they not play play one u know, they're quite serious abt it. so anyway, i tink yateny gave my fren the nail coz they say these things are afraid of sharp objects. this yateny always goes back around 11pm la, by the way. SOOOOO SERAM RITE!! lucky my office not there say. bukannye ape, its just tt when u hear these things, u tend to imagine many2 more!

then the 2 of them went to smoke la. when my fren (the chinese one) came back, she was like "eh, nurul, does my backside look big?" she said, turning around to show me her butt. today she is wearing clubbing wear, a glittery cyan deep V long tank top with a low slung studded belt and brown leggings. HAHA. MAMPOS la. i din know colleagues can ask each other this kinda question. she then called the other girl, who was already at ther office and put on the speakerphone. she was like, "eh naz, come and play bowling with me and nurul later... then we can go for dinner after tt. dun see ur boyfren today la.. u just saw him yesterday waaat..." she then proceeded to whine at her and ask her to cancel her appointment with her bf. we spent like the next half an hour on the phone like dat ah. haha. SO GEREK u know when my supervisor and manager are not here. i wish they can take off everyday!

haha. ok la. im going for my second breakfast today. talk about getting fat, dun b surprised when u see me when sch reopens! i gained a lot of weight y'all! woots! tts all for now, have a great day ahead!

2007-06-20T08:37:00.000+08:00

him: i love u.
her: ok.
him: ok?
her: ya.. ok.
him: i'm telling u tt i love u.
her: i know.
him: and all u can say is ok?
her: and all u can say is i love u?

having said that, she looked away. "what was the reply he expected?", she wondered. i dont believe in that word. don't u know?

him: im sorry.
her: its ok.
him: no. im sorry.
her: u're sorry u love me?
him: tts not wat i meant.
her: then?
him: i love u.
her: i know.
him: ok.

"can i make it anymore obvious?", she wondered to herself.

him: wat do u mean?

"oh shit. did i just wonder out loud?", she thought.

him: haha. no, silly.

"wat theffff!?", she thought again, alarmed by the bizzare situation. (p.s: she's someone who can't bring herself to curse and swear, even in her thoughts. she deems it unnecessary)

him: i read minds.

2007-06-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

A prayer for my friends (especiali to her) leaving at dawn break tmr..

I pray for your safety, for a peaceful journey.
I pray u'll stay healthy, amidst all the flurry.
I pray u'd bring joy to those who reali need it. those who reali want it.
I pray u'll be protected by His hands, away from any undesirable, unforeseen events.
I pray tt u'd spend ur days away from us happy, together.
He'll be there for u. and He'll be there for u.
I pray for your safe return home in 3 day short of a fortnight.
I reali pray, insyaAllah tt all goes well, tt u'd be back and we'd be planning our next adventure.
We'll pray for u.

Amin.

Love u cet.

2007-06-12T14:35:00.000+08:00

sejak dua menjak keje ni kan.. asyek nk melawaaaaaa je. ekcheli pon bukannye ade orang tengok sangat seh. terperap je kat ofis. k la.. kadang2 walk around the club jugak. tapi kalau pakai lawa2 masok kitchen pon macam tak glam sangat ah. i can see myself in future as tt type yang meet clients for breakfast, lunch, teabreak etc.. hari hari pakai lawa2, bawak beg mahal2, guna hp vertu (smalam aku gunakan word "guna", ade ke dia tertawakan aku..). kalau pakai high heels pon kene pakai heels yang bunyik "ke-le-tuk ke-le-tuk ke-le-tuk", takmo pakai yang bunyik "ke-le-pek ke-le-pek".

alamak.. si manager ni bebual pulak... disrupt my train of thoughts seh.

mampos seh kalau skolah ke kampeni ni tau yang aku gunakan time ni untok mengeblog. habis teros aku akan di-fail-kan.

tapikan, ade ke orang yang fail untok PA eh? seriously ah. kalau boleh fail PA eh, means hari hari tido ah. lagi worse ke. jadi, seharus-harusnye, orang ni seme patot tiru macam moi. walaupon takde kerje, eksyen2 menaip-menaip bagaikan aku ni ade keje ah. padahal tenga mengeblog

MAMPOS! managerku baru je datang meneru towards my desk, bagi aku keje. nasib baik la aku ade excel file yang open. sempat eksyen2. da lah tu, messenger nye window ade 5 conversation. hahahahahahahahahaha. nasib baik dia tak nampak seh. but maybe she saw the look of shock in my eyes when she came towards me. u know, ke-panic-an yang melanda di jiwa? that sort of look.

kla. aku nk gi buat keje yang dia suro ni. kental seh, excel pon tak tau pakai. i mean, gunakan. nasib baik aku da blaja. K BYE!

2007-06-11T16:24:00.001+08:00

eyyy.

guess wat? i have time to kill.

i tell u ah, this PA is realli gila ah. bila busy, busy nak mampos! bila slack, slack nak mampos! i just came back from eating ice cream. today i had maple walnut in a cup, sponsored by my sales & mkting manager. thankew u! i lap u v much!

but ekshelli kan, my whole dptmt damn slack today. they dunno go for smoke break how many times already. then jus now as they were going out they joke joke ask me "wan to smoke?" then i joke joke said "i can try" then they went "Noooooooooo.." and they were totally in sync! haha! soooooo funny ah! but sometimes when i got nothing to do i'll just sit outside with them lor. got seaview and "fresh air". i reali shud consider myself lucky coz even tho life here is sucky and boring at times, its not stressful and i get to laugh and bitch quite a lot.

i also think im lucky coz i get to do a lot of marketing related stuff, but more in line to hospitality industry instead of product or brand management. so far i've done event planning, marketing plans and advertising quotes. i reali tink tt this line is fun ah and it takes a lot of creativity and initiative, which i tink i have ah.

tell u, wat im feeling now is polar opposite to wat i felt yesterday and earlier in the day. i was so stressed la coz i had to submit a marketing plan for the guestroom. ade ke my manager ask me to do a horizon forecast. like wtf!! how am i suppose to know the sales functions forecast. apeee saje. then dunno how to do just anyhow whack lor. once i submitted teros like a burden lifted off my shoulders seh. baaaasket. work is like dat one. like toot sia. its worse than school becoz school u work in a group so u dont reali feel that u are being singled out ah. work is usuali lone ranger one.. if u're tasked to do sthg means u are the one task. so all tt u can do is tekan ur subordinates and ask them to do the task for u instead ah. and since i am considerably low in the food chain, who kena arrow? akuuuu jugak.

but cannot reali complain ah coz if not then i'll reali reali reali reali have nothing to do ma. yey! im going home in 15 mins. i shall chat with kak fhar til then.

ps: i want this shirt. buy for me pls.. at this website http://www.sophistix.net/product_details.php?category_id=13&page=1&item_id=228

tankew u..

2007-06-07T08:18:00.000+08:00

morning. the lonesome office girl has decided to blog.

its not like i have nothing to do. now i have quite a number of things to do. i even have to do something for my boss's presentation which i doubt i'll get any credit for. he'll probably go "Good.. very clear". ya. yey clap clap right. if i so good then giv me extra pay ah.

hee2.

im v bad right. ekchelli now also im trying to kill some time for another 40 mins or so til my other colleagues come in. then they'll see me working hard. MUAHAHAHA.

Father's Day is coming and I've decided to celebrate the old man this year. dun u just realise that dads are sort of forgotten. like, we always kick up a big fuss for our mums on mother's day, for our lovers on valentine's day and even for our teachers on teacher's day. but somehow, father's day tends to be a neglected affair. and on seeing that my dad really deserves more than a lil' respect, I shall be the one celebrating his day. i forgot what we did last year but i remember tt the previous year i cooked for him (and only him) an entire meal. I made caesar salad for starters, fish and chips for main course and white chocolate and raspberry muffin for dessert.

this year, im thinking of bringing my parents to carousel at royal plaza on scotts for a hi-tea. heard that the canapes and desserts there are nice and they have a chocolate fountain too. i tink cost wise, it should be around $28 per pax. dun know if its nett of ++ ah. i dun wan to take my brother along coz he's such a scrooge. ever since he's gonna get married right, he never make the effort to treat us to dinner or anything. tt time when we went to eatzi for my birthday, my dad was the one who paid for me in the end. which is the reason y i wan to start a mid term savings plan soon, so tt at least i have a cash kitty when i wan to get married. but tts another story altogether.

yup. i tink maybe go next sunday ah, 17 June. but ekchelli i dunno when is father's day ah. shud be the 3rd week of June.

then my dad's bday is in august.. i tink im gonna buy a heart rate monitor watch for him coz he's very into heart rate n blood pressure and stuff. (did u know tt we have that blood pressure machine at home? the one tt doctors use where u need to use stethoscope and pump the thing. so semangat kan?) the thing is, i dunno whether i'll have money then la. hee2.

but between now and then there are still a couple of bdays tt i HAVE to celebrate (no choice.. sadly. hee2) which means i expect to eat a lot of cake! yey!

2007-06-04T14:52:00.000+08:00

guess wat?

im bored.

yea.. not the first time hearing that one ay? somehow i dont feel too bad not doing anything cept wasting my time here. and being paid for it. like seeeriously, the amount of work (as in real work) i have done thus far is only like 5 days worth if its all condensed together. i dunno wat i've been doing for the rest of the 11 days. tho.. i must say.. my sudoku skills have improved alot thanks to www.websudoku.com.

i have about 2 hours-ish to pass now. im pondering and contemplating whether i should go and eat ice cream. hmm. but then again, eating ice cream will only take like wat.. 15 mins or so? im trying hard to think of a topic that will take like.. 1 hr to blog.

*ponder*

ah yes. actuali got a few things to talk about, among others, the issue of "Halal" food. i think a lot of ppl are mostly confused about wat constitutes as Halal food. "Halal" is an Arabic word which means lawful or allowable. People often ask me why muslims dont take pork. well, that will be explained more in detail later, but for simplicity, think of a religion as an institution, a society. and a society largely lives by law. For example, driving on the road shoulder is *all together now* WRONG... it is unlawful. of course there are ppl who still do it, and they are punished. just like law, there are minor wrong-doings and major crimes also. like, if u drink n drive u will end up in jail. well, same as the religions la.. if u dun follow law, u will also be charged. but the jail is eternal. hee2. (just kidding la... can....)

actuali i tink tt if u have a faith, its easier to understand bcoz i believe that each religion has its set of "rules" lah so-called. so, when we talk about life in general, actuali i find it easier to talk to friends with faiths, no matter if they're catholic, christians, hindus etc.. coz they understand the need for certain restrictions u see. As one of my Christian friends put it to a free-thinker fren, "Faith is believing in something that u can't explain." i concur.

anyways, back to what is Halal. may i just say that 'no pork no lard' does not mean that its halal. it just means that no pork and no lard is used. however, the meat used may be from animals that have not been slaughtered and therefore are not halal. therefore, it does not mean that if u ordered food with no pork and no lard that its Halal food. then u shud probably tell ur frens tt its no pork no lard so that they can avoid taking the meat. technically speaking, vegetable and fish and all that are fine, but the thing is, we never know if the utensils used in cooking meats like pork are used for cooking the vegetables and fish n all tt.. that wud render the veges and seafood non-halal because its considered like its all mixed together liao. there is a way to cleanse and re-purify and tts using clay. but tts another matter altogether ma.

anw, all land animals are lawful except those with sharp teeth, tusks and talons that are used to kill (tigers, bears etc), scorpions, crows, centipedes and amphibians like frogs and turtles. im not quite sure why we can eat crab, maybe coz it falls under the category of crustaceans and not amphibians. but i tink its a food that can be categorised as syubhah coz its doubtful, neither here nor there. in other words, better to be avoided la. but tt said, i do love my seafood. especially cray fish.. GOD!! i love cray fish with sambal! ada oomph bebeh!

i guess my intention for writing this is just to clear the air lor. as to why pork is not allowed, i heard lah (not sure if this is right or not) that the pig does not have a neck, so technically it cannot be slaughtered. slaughtering is scientifically considered the most humane way of killing an animal for consumption. i heard rite, sometimes right, those chickens that are killed using electric shock right haven't even die when they are put into the boiler. so essentially, they are electrically shocked, half-dead(which means that they are also half alive), then suffer from being boiled alive. u wan to die like dat or not? i guess is plausible coz usuali when u get electric shock ur nervous system is disrupted.. and it may be only momentary.. i mean, of course its not pretty to see an animal die no matter how u do it, but at least its better to not let it suffer before it gets eaten wat. god. i sound so gory.

anyway i think nowadays there are quite a number of places that offer Halal food so there's no need to reali scratch ur head and think of one la. the muis website (www.muis.gov.sg) has a list of halal-certified food joints. they further divide them into caterers, restaurants etc, so its quite easy to find. for me ah, if the place reali reali reali got no halal food (like last time when i went to vietnam), i'll eat boiled seafood and vegetables. but ekchelli there's this relaxation to the law when u are reali desperate and if u have no choice or if u are a traveller (not the tourist-y) type ah. If in Singapore, im fine with vegetarian indian restaurants coz they are strictly vegetarian ma. they dont have those kind of mock meats la.. wat la..

yup. so i guess at the end of the day, it boils down to mutual respect and the so-called flexibility of the individual la. but like i said, drive on the road shoulder at ur own risk ah.

anw people, just one last note. its not Hara or halah.. its halal with the 'l' at the back. practise rolling tt ol' tongue of urs.

2007-06-01T12:08:00.000+08:00

Here I am again. I’ve been eavesdropping on their conversation for like 10 to 15 minutes. They just came back from meeting and so just like leaves rustling in the trees when the wind blows, they rustle with gossips and I-don’t-believe-it looks of horror.

I think the place is crumbling and the company is folding.. soon. Yes, my friends. I might be watching the demise of a once upon a time luxury club. Seeeerious. Consider this. The gm has just been changed. And with that change, at least 2 upper management, who have been here for 12 – 13 years are leaving. And SOON. Like.. in less than 2 weeks. They tendered their resignation for such short notice that the ppl working directly under them are in a state of shock and loss. Even the new HR manager, who previously worked for Gillette, is complaining of gastric problems and such. She says that she had never felt such stress until recently. And the thing is, she’s been working here for less than 2 months!!!!!!

Imagine that. Old salt who have been working for the company ever since the club membership once was sold for $80k leaving. It reali says something about the way things are here. I can say that although ppl seem to be findy dandy, the consensus is that it just basically sucks here. Did u know that ppl who do admin duties here, including the ppl in my office and all do NOT have OT pay? Tts reali reali mad because these ppl DO NOT go back at office hours, they stay far beyond the time to finish up their work and make follow up phonecalls and show the clients around. And the members, who paid the premium price for the membership in its heydays are so mad and frustrated that the value has gone down to only about $6k lash out on the employees here.

I tink its rather unfair to say that I haven’t learnt anything during my stay here. I’ve learnt a lot!! About politicking, management and welfare! I trust that if I were to be given a management job in future, I will reflect deeply about the feelings of employees before implementing any decisions.

But, in the first place, I reali reali reali reali hope that I WOULD NOT be working for a local company. I tink that a small company is fine, like SMEs cause there tends to be less dissatisfaction and politicking but I think working for a midsize local company for this one is just downright pathetic.

The problem, I feel, is the thinking of the management. I feel that local companies are very profit motivated. Very “target” oriented. And the thing is, its fine to set a target because it gives employees a sense of expectation, but at the same time, there must be rewards to motivate these employees to act on the target. These ppl don’t get any form of rewards, only the mandatory 13 months pay. That is reali reali reali reali pathetic until I can faint ah. Reali. And as I mentioned, they don’t even get OT pay. Not onli that, somehow right, the management are super super frugal. Its so difficult to even ask for a shelf to put the files u know! So in the end, ppl usuali cannot stand the wait and just take money out of their own pockets to organize the company’s things. Madness right.

Tts y.. things like this u’ll never get to see or experience until u actuali immerse urself in the organization. Its super dysfunctional I tell u. and the thing is right, this kind of club is something where ppl cannot get intrinsic rewards one. If u work for a social organization or what then at least u stay on to help the ppl u are servicing. This one ah, u have to service these demanding, not-so-rich-but-act-like-bloody-rich ppl who scream at u like nobody’s business. I reali think its strange that there’s no reward system to reward employees ah. Reali. Tts crazy ah.

I tink that management must look at employees as people, human beings, not robots. Even a small gesture like giving a department a mug each to reward their performance will make ppl feel appreciated. But like I said, if u’re so frugal until u cannot even squeeze out $500 for mugs.. thts just pathetic ah.

Taking into account my experience, I have set a goal for myself.

1) I will work for a company with a positive and participative work environment
2) I will reach a management position in 5 years
3) I will continually upgrade my skills and certification such that I can go to better and better companies
4) I will eventually end up in an American or European MNC for a regional position

y angmoh companies? i think they have the best welfare. its evident in my brother's company which is an American company doing aeroplane engines and body. they have a buffet for ALL staff, including technicians and casual labour, which includes chefs making crepes and stirfry stations!!

i reali admire these kind of companies coz they reali understand tt they need to motivate ppl on order to get results. my dream company is Nestle. At the moment they're venturing in depth into the Halal market and they need management level ppl to pursue the markets.

yes. tt shall b my ultimate aim. Nestle! here i come!

2007-05-30T08:54:00.000+08:00

morning! guess who's 21?

that would be.... moi.

woot!

Got a few well wishes yesterday, many of which urged me to grow up, act my age, be wiser etc etc. JEALOUS ppl. HOHOHOHOHOHOHO.

i'll still b the same childish person i have always been, someone who expects my loved ones to care for me and sayang sayang me.. someone who tells lame jokes and laughs at them myself.. i'll just probably become more boring as i grow older. as of now, i refuse to participate in groups, clubs and societies.. im just not into being "happening" anymore. i guess i dont need that kind of sense of belonging coz i have found my niche. and then there's worklife. one more year to graduation! aaaarh!

i cant believe im 21. partly because i remember when i was young, my perception of 21 yr olds was that they were like sooooooo old. but i dun feel old leh. i feel about 17ish. like.. i can handle myself but i still need my parents. i'm still vry lovey dovey with my parents. i hug and kiss them and hold their hands in public. but they still dunno about ody. seriously. totally clueless. muahahahahahha.

ou ya. speaking of the folks.. u can say that ur parents gave u a gold necklace, an expensive watch, a treat at a fine restaurant for ur 21st. but u cant say that they gave u a Mont Blanc. I can. hee2.

hee2.

alamak. they called for a meeting. k.. bye..

2007-05-21T09:06:00.000+08:00

The time is 9.06 am and i am alone in the office.

There are 4 other ladies in the office. 1 of them has taken off in lieu today and the other 3 has gone for their morning cigarette break. which explains why I am alone in the office.

Things are a lil bit better for me. Tho i dont LOVE work at least i have responsibilities now. I've been put in charge of an event by the club manager. A corporate cocktail for the present and potential clients. so basically i have to like help to source out door gifts, design and mail out the invites, prepare the guest list, RSVP, coordinate the thing etc etc. I dont do internal liason tho. coz the staff are more familiar with each other ma. so.. more of external liason. ya, liddat lor. tink i'll be busier next month ah.

i wonder y when some ppl type they need to hit the keyboard very hard. ya. we all know that u're typing. no need to hit so hard rite.

actuali i tink my work place is not as bad or as stressful as other ppl ah. usuali when there's events and there's extra food my colleagues will go and kope some and bring down. so we get to eat satay and stuff. then there's a movenpick ice cream stand at the restaurant, so we can go by ice cream in the evening. oh. and my office is inside the games room which is like an arcade so sometimes after lunch i'll go play the F1 game.

im just not very happy coz i dun get much to do.. i tink. its either tt or its because they still consider me as an outsider ah. actuali i tink they tink i'm the goody-two-shoes type (which compared to them i am ah). They were actuali surprised tt i am still living with my parents ah. like d'uh. suka hati aku ah! so.. ya. i got no kaki ah. so quite tehh.

yesterday i went to the turf club with my dad. first time sia see horses. SUA KU sak!! and the place ah.. is like so unlike any other ah. its not even like Singapore. there are so many ppl of all races and nationalities and across the spectrum of rich and poor. u can basically litter wherever u wan.. there are betting slips covering the floor ah. the horses are so pretty! so majestic and their muscles are rippling and glistening under their sweaty skin. their mane and tail are so smooth and shiny! (kalah advertisement pantene).

the place is divided into 3 levels. the first level is open air, where the arena is. tix are $4 for the entire day. the second level is air con. tix are at $7 for the entire day. the 3rd level is the VIP grand stand and lounges. for the corporate guest and super rich. there were 9 races yesterday, the last one being the SIA international cup race. the 1st and 2nd placing went to Japanese owners, trainers and jockey. we din stay for tt one. it was 8+. we onli watched from race 3 to 6. it was an experience ah. a very different take on Singapore. reli. like some alien world. but it was fun coz all the ah peks were like cheering for the horses (they got bet one mah). so they were like "GO! GO!", "All the way! All the way!" and chanting the numbers like "LAK HO ah!! LAK HO!!" haha. that's 6 in hokkien i tink. and ya.. there got a lo of studious ppl, reading their racing guides and taking notes. which caused me to wonder loudly to my dad "Tu lah.. dulu mak diorang suro belajar liat, skarang rajin pulak diorang menelaah. agaknye kalau dulu rajin cam gini da masok university da." (see la, last time lazy to study, now so dilligent. maybe if they were this hard working last time they would have gone to university).

hee2.

but i tink out of all the gambling possibilities, horse racing is the least luck-based one. its probably more of knowing the performance of the horse, trainer and jockey. but realli, the horses are so pretty! i wan i wan!!

i was working on sat so ody and i cud onli meet up in the evening. (i work one full sat a month). we wanted to watch Priceless (the one with Audrey Tatou) but it was sold out but the time we got to cineleisure. so we watched Eternal Summer instead!
http://sg.movies.yahoo.com/Eternal+Summer/movie/14100/

i strongly recommend the movie (especiali for ppl who prefer art house movies to blockbusters). the cinematography and direction are fantastic and its a very character-based story. overall, i give it 4 and a half out of 5 stars. this movie is in Mandarin.

another movie i just caught is Mukhsin. its again, an art house movie by a prolific Malaysian writer and director. a "prequel" to Sepet and Gubra. its FANTASTIC!! reali reali reali good stuff. 5 out of 5 stars. its again, a character piece with great direction and great subtle comic relief. comes highly recommended by moi. this movie is in Malay. http://sg.movies.yahoo.com/Mukhsin/movie/14079/

next week is POTC day with ODY!!! I'M SOOOOOO FREAKIN EXCITED!!!!!!!!! YEY!

ok. back to work.

2007-05-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

I had my first day at RM today and the club is so pretty! Can't say the same about the offices though, but the staff were nice and very passionate about serving the best. I hope I'll be able to do more as the weeks come by. =]

was told tt I had to take the transport from Jurong East at 7.05, so i left home around 6.35 for JE. then, I realise that the bus travels past Nanyang CC (the one opposite city harvest church there) around 730.. so i can might as well take from there right!! so tt wud mean tt tmr i can leave home around 7.10.. can sleep half hour longer. yeah! reached there at 8 and looked for our PA supervisor. she took us for a tour to show the facility of the marina and the club house and function rooms and all tt. it was so nice! the marina is freakin gorgeous in the morning and i love the view. we even got to go in and see the club boat which has 2 cabins and cost like 700 bucks to rent for a day.. and then there's the smell of the sea! yes, i love it man.. reminded me of my days as daddy' little fishermen friend.

u know how u usuali just get a quick tour of where the file cabinets are? haha. this wasnt like that at all. she reali took the trouble to explain stuff to us, about the boats and wat nots and even the history and finance stuff of the club and the company. oh yes, all that at the restaurant there (she treated us to breakfast and coffee) overlooking the woowweee view!

so basically rite, we started "work" around 10+ la. i was assigned to the banqueting and events dpt and i din do anything lor! they gave me some bridal mags which they advertise in for me to read. and tts just wat i did til lunch! lunch was canteen food la. its ok ok but its considered good la for a free meal. after lunch, i helped to put together the promotions/sales package for the wedding banquets. waaaaa! cost a freaking bomb ah! but i reali reali reali tink that the 15-20k spent for a wedding there is worth it, especially the outdoor wedding, i mean for the rich ppl la.. its held at a place overlooking the marina at sunset and its in the west ah, so the sun set is damn nice!!

then after tt, i had nothing to do again.. just sat there and stoned and read mags while they went for meeting. then they came back and asked me to help prepare the place cards for tmr very cheena VIP event, then 5 oclock, go home time! punch card, wait for transport bus to move (approx 5.20 pm and every hour after tt) drop at Nanyang CC and walk home.. wheeee!

so tt my day today, lets see wat tmr brings!

ps: i sound so minah today, i also dunno y.

2007-05-13T14:34:00.000+08:00

tomorrow's the so-called big day, the start of le proffesional attachment in tt-place-in-Tuas-where-ppl-park-their-boats-and-yachts.. its a bittersweet feeling.. bitter because it feels like its too soon and i feel like i havent spent enough time with my friends and loved ones. sweet because i get a chance to work in a country club.. see how its run and stuff. i tink the experience will b very useful in future and it wud look pretty good in my resume (but not as good as MNCs lah) especially if i decide to do sthg along those line.

im ready for it, ready to work hard and ready for the office hours once more. kinda reminded of my days in Emtec.. and i actually enjoyed myself, so hopefully i'll have nice ppl around me. but at the very least, i have joy (as in Joy Tham..) to share the excitement with (but she's way more excited than me). I'll b working in the conference n events department.. probably helping out with their marketing and publicity stuff. again, useful to learn about the MICE(Meetings, Incentive travel, Conventions & Events) sector, a viable growth potential (my personal belief) for the tourism industry.

with a lot of the seniors unofficially graduated and planning their grad trips, i find myself thinking abt myself in a years' time. looking ahead to my graduation, hopefully i'll b able to secure a place in this kinda line coz with the IR and F1 and all the leisure/entertainment stuff coming up, it would b a good bandwagon to jump into.. it may be hard work, but im guessing its less mundane and more challenging (esp creatively) than the regular 9 to 5.

speaking of which, my work hours are 8 to 5 and i'd prolly b working on Sats too.. which i dont totally mind la.. for now at least. then there's also FYP with sz and minah..

my clothes have been ironed.. but i still feel a bit like.. errrrrrr.. u know? tt kind of feeling? i wont say tt im nervous la, i just dun know wat to expect in terms of the ppl there. hopefully i can b nice n the ppl will like me and not b so like atas until i dun understand. who knows, i might get a chance to sample caviar from an ivory spoon.. haha. rite -_-'

tmr im gonna wear the creme victorian blouse with black pants.. tink first day must wear long sleeve la.. looks more presentable. i tot work there can wear beachwear. haiya. i need to psyche myself up, to tell myself that even tho the pay is quite miserable and i might have to do a lot of sai kang, i will learn sthg from it. yes. tink positive, THAT i would do..

okaie. so.. wish me the best of luck, i hope i'll b able to update again tmr..

2007-05-01T23:26:00.000+08:00

woot. exams are over for me, so, naturally i went shopping. (yey)

anw, my last paper ended yest at 3ish, afterwhich i went to pick my mum up from work and where i found (by 'found', i meant, walked past it, saw it, gravitated towards it and asked for the largest size available) a decent pair of shoes.

by decent, i mean its not like super trendy but more conservative.. something to wear with le power suits.. ooo lala oui oui. anyway, SURPRISE!!! they had my size! woot woot!

well.. actuali they din exactly have the design i wanted but something reali close.. so i was happy.. woooot! i shopped a lil' more, mostly for food and tibits then went for my tuition from 730 to 930.

less than 12 hours later, i was back at the tuition centre for a 3 hr marathon class. today is labour day. yes yes, i do realise that. but i have brought forward lessons (ie, they dont have lessons for 2 weeks after their SA1 exams) so... yeap, 6 hrs back to back of screaming over p4 and p5 students. no joke i tell u.

anyhoot, right after i got back home from work the folks wanted to take me out to buy clothes. YES!! do not rub ur eyes or attempt to reread the previous sentence again! the folks wanted to take me out to buy some clothes!!!

so we went to JE coz initially i wanted to tailor a pair of pants (since my hip to butt to waist to leg ratio is not exactly the best proportion la har..) but in the end we came across this shop called "BEGA" which sold office wear. haha! i was so appalled by the name! BEGA! like beggar! as opposed to BOSS? hahahahhahhahhahaha.

as always, i nonchalantly tried a jacket on and my parents suddenly became like so excited la. they thought it was reali nice and after looking in the mirror, i thought so too. in my mind i was like.. dang! we shud do this more often balls! (FYI, i've recently concretised another voice in my head so there's 2 of us and we "talk" to each other alot these days. its my alter ego and she's NOTTAY! meowwww...)

so, in the end, i bought (or rather, i was treated to) a complete suit, jacket, pants and blouse.. the blouse is super super nice and tres chic! it has the Chloe collection victorian feel.. kinda looks like this..

the one in the pic is by viktor & rolf selling at approx 335 pounds. the one i got was long sleeved, with a laced detailed cuff and its only $29!!!!! well.. i dont usually say "its only" when stuff are above my threshold of $18, but since the kaching wasnt coming out of my pocket, i was like "WA!! SO NICE!! ONLY $29!!" yalah, once in a while my father wan to treat me seh.

anw, for those 3 pieces (victorian-esque blouse, jacket and pants), it was $124.. actually it was supposed to be cheaper coz the pants are cheap, but i din wan the cheap pants coz the cut was not nice.. so i insisted on the $46 pair instead. so now, i have 3 pairs of pants which cost more than $20! woot!

anw, im happy coz i got to purchase sthg realli nice and sthg tt looks like it came from Chloe (IF i was rich, it would be my choice designer brand, closely followed by cacharel.. i can sooo see myself in their clothes). for now, it will do!!

yup. so tt was tt and just FYI again, i just went online shopping and bought some v nice pins! i was sooo into earrings last time but i have too many already.. now im into pins!! its soooo circa the rolling stones!! woot!

i ordered the ones in the first row of the pic, the rest are mostly out of stock or i din like them. but the ones i ordered i like a lot!!!! hee hee. but still, im trying to find the pin that Drew wore in her music and lyrics movie.. it damn nice!!

if u know where to find it tell me k?!! i sooooooo love the style in this pic! i tink it indie.. not tt im trendy but i tink its coming into trend now.. the vest and the suspenders. nic wud tink tt its so last season coz she loved her vest last sem.. haha. u know la these SADM ppl.. very the fashionable one.. but anw, this is one of the rare recent trends tt i like. (im so thankful that the legging trend is gonna fade soon.. cant stand ppl wearing leggings as pants! eeeeewww!!) anw, girls shud all dress up like this! so cute!!

2007-04-28T22:50:00.000+08:00

surprise!

hee2.

u like?

2007-04-23T12:43:00.000+08:00

ahahahahahahahahahahha.

i jus read my fren's blog and its very funny. i want to laugh out loud but cannot. im in the computer lab and evrione is mugging seriously so i cannot laugh. so i shall vent my happiness here.

ahahahahhahahaahahahahahahha.

klakar dok.

2007-03-22T00:03:00.000+08:00

teaching pre-pubescent kids abt sexual reproduction is fun. =)

refer to primary 5 science syllabus, chapter 3.

there's this kid in class, his name is weitat. super cute lil thing, just over half my size, tiny, crew cut, face like hamtaro.

i like to tease him ah. bcoz he's just sooo sooo darn cute. so i'll sometimes just scream "Ong Wei Tat!"

and he goes "Um?" *shrek 2 puss in boots pitiful face*

Me: What type of reproductive cell do males produce?
Him: Sperm.
Me: Good. And in human beings, where are sperm cells produced?
Him: *Thinks* (Says softly) Ummm.. Penis.

haha.

priceless..

2007-03-14T00:19:00.000+08:00

Art, like wine needs time to age. and boy, has this taken a while. I present,

The Philophobic's guide to landing a guy

Part II

in part 1, i've given u my thoughts on the general male population. Further suggested by my helpful readers are hybrids or cross-variations between the categories. They are not exhaustive, though. U, my friends, will have to do some work, to really observe ur "target", to find out his likes and dislikes, so tt at the very least, u cud carry a decent conversation with him.

this next chapter will be dedicated to the so-called "rules of engagement", tt is, how to take the first step to engage ur audience. think of yourself as a moving advertisement. and in any type of promotional activity, u must first capture ur target audiences' attention.

In pursuant to pursuing a guy, let us adhere to the famous axioms as follows.

Lex I: Corpus omne perseverare in statu suo quiescendi vel movendi uniformiter in directum, nisi quatenus a viribus impressis cogitur statum illum mutare.

Sounds familiar? For those of you whose latin are not quite up to scratch, i offer the following translation - Law 1: An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an external and unbalanced force . An object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by an external and unbalanced force.

U see, Newton was a genius in more ways than one. not only could his laws be applied into physics, it could also be applied in the realm of love. Consider the following interpetration.

Philophobic Law 1: Two people who are strangers will remain strangers unless acted upon by an external (or sometimes internal) force. Two people who are "just" friends will remain "just" friends unless someone acts upon it.

For the slower learners(tts u hun), this just means that if u have a crush on a guy but tt guy doesnt know u exist, the guy is not gonna know u exist until u appear in front of him and *snap snap* makes sure he notices u, or unless u get a friend to mutually introduce u. For example, there's this person(s) [im guessing its a girl(s)] who keeps googling "harun nus cute" and landing on my blog. Well, i have no idea who this googler is, and i also have no idea who "harun nus cute" is. but, i applaud the initiative taken by the person(s) to find dirt on the guy. but anyhoo, one suggestion please.. do land on the right blog the next time yea? n leave a msg for him on the tagboard. take the first step!

Lex II: Mutationem motus proportionalem esse vi motrici impressae, et fieri secundum lineam rectam qua vis illa imprimitur.

This is the second law which says that: The rate of change of momentum of a body is proportional to the resultant force acting on the body and is in the same direction. In the world of Philophobics, it can be interpreted in the following way:

Philophobic Law 2: The rate the friendship moves at is in relation to the amount of work done to keep it going.

What this means, my frens, is that the amount of effort that u put in into building the relationship will reap returns in what may not be exactly proportional, but at least close. U reap what u sow, my frens (just like Newton, most of them ol' english folks are pretty smart too.) so, im guessing that making the effort to impress ur target audience is key. for example, if ur target happens to be a mechanical engineering major, use physics rules and laws to impress him and leave a smile on his face. *coughlikemecough* i find that guys are particularly impressed by athletic abilities as well as wit and taste. but if u got big boobs, i guess tt would count towards something too. so, u know, again, to each her own. dig deep and find a unique attribute (or a set of unique attributes) that u can sell. if u got it, flaunt it girl fren!

Lex III: Actioni contrariam semper et æqualem esse reactionem: sive corporum duorum actiones in se mutuo semper esse æquales et in partes contrarias dirigi.

Newton's third law is I think, the most popular one. It is commonly paraphrased as "To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction".

CS 100 taught me that the way you communicate to another person will be reciprocated and ur actions mimicked closely by those interested in you. so, say if u stand in a defensive position (arms folded across chest), this non-verbal communication will be picked up and the person will also react to u in a defensive way. so i guess my point is, u should talk to the person like how u wan tt person to talk to u. if u start "KAU-AKUing" with the person, he would do the same and from there, its kinda difficult to like.. change? i learnt tt one way to show interest in the person is by leaning in towards the person when he or she speaks and to respond to him by like nodding, or agreeing or paraphrasing. i know tt wat counts most is ur sincerity to get to know this person.. but if he or she doesnt know u well in the first place, they are going to look extra carefully for such signs when u talk to them. so be extra conscious but dont look silly doing it!

ok. so tts it. we've gone thru the basic tenets of philophobic's guide to landing a guy.

just one more thing.. very important.. no matter how dumb their jokes are, do laugh. it makes them feel better. remember, there are 3 parts to a male of the species - the guy, his ego and his appendages.

in the next chapter, we will learn about fishing - hook, bait and sinker. so do stay tuned. (tho it might be a while)

=*

2007-03-01T00:50:00.000+08:00

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with...

"1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down.The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.

So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6 .He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1."

hoho.

2007-02-28T14:43:00.000+08:00

i went to visit Mrs Tan & the dancers on Sunday. As usual, they were there at PA frm 830. i arrived at 10 with JP Banquet kueh lopez and some snacks. anw, themrstan was totally surprised coz i din tell her i was coming.. only jo knew. i sat at the blackbox and watched them practice.. laughing.. being scolded by cikgu.. BOY, HOW I MISS THOSE TIMES.

this yr, they're sending out 2 groups for SYF. its divided into the IP group and JC grp. THEY'RE FREAKING AWESOME!! hee2. 6 weeks left to SYF and both dances are half done! haha. like.. wats new rite? and i heard tt cikgu has 9 schs this sem. okayy. no wonder he looks so stressed. oh ya. n the ILSA perf coming up in March rite?

but back to the kiddos.. but they're really funtastic.. very energetic! and they dont sweat! like seriously.. they were like jumping and rolling and all tt.. but not sweating! and i walked frm kallang mrt to PA and i was already sweating buckets ah.

here's the rehearsal video for a Mendaki performance by the IP group. FYI, there's 8 of them, 2 chinese girls, one half malay-half arabic but doesnt speak malay (she speaks chinese) and the rest are vietnamese. YUP. ALL the boys frm the IP grp are Vietnamese. Watch! Watch! they're great!

2007-02-22T00:42:00.000+08:00

A lunch can be an excuse to spend 2 hours with a friend.

that was a sentence that woke me up as i was reading my cs 100 textbk.. (ok ok.. stop your THE HORROR-ing already). the author was explaining about one of the 3 unifying themes in communications - meaning.

That sentence kinda hit a dingdong bell inside my head coz of this recurring thing tt keeps swinging back and forth between Brody and moiself.

let's just put it this way: He would prefer that i not engage in one-on-one "outings" with other dudes. and i.. i see nothing wrong with it watsoever.. i mean, they're my friends.. and before all this, i always went out one-on-one and nothing ever reali happened..

so I've always thought of it as more of a "jealousy" issue.. that im spending the time i could spend with him on someone else. But that one particular sentence in the book made me think for a bit. Maybe what the Brods is more concerned about is that there is sorta an "ulterior motive" for ppl asking me out for lunch or coffee that i never reali thought about.

honestly. really.

i never knew that something like a meal could have such embedded meanings in it. and now that i know, im kinda taken aback. but how bad can it be right? i mean.. a meal is a meal.. how much info can u squeeze out for me in a meal? and im not reali the kind of person who would pause eating just to talk. i'd rather stuff it in and then eat some more.

and wat abt those ppl i asked out? wat if they think that by asking them out for lunch i'm implying something more than wat i reali want when all i reali want to do is just meet them and eat?

are there many of such coded, embedded, secret and "universally understood" things around? which brings me to a small thing tts been bugging me for quite a while.

can someone tell me wat tea-bagging is? coz i was nonchalantly dipping and undipping my teabag while sitting with my "liberal" friends one day when one of them asked if i was tea-bagging.. and then the rest laughed and refused to tell me wats so funny. is it a code too?

anyhoot, im not saying im like THAT naiive u know.. by the smirks on their faces i knew its not exactly something as wholesome as David Haselhoff (i just felt like using the name).

but i guess i have to understand and accept that not everything is spelt out at face value.. but, if so.. where do we draw the line between reading in between the lines and reading too much into something? like u totally didn mean or intend for any circumstances when u comunicate sthg.. but somehow someone just reads too much into it and the repercussions then sort of get blown out of proportion?

i guess then thats the importance of feedback.. when u ask the communicator what the intended meaning was.

sigh.

so much for random thoughts.

back to the books.

2007-02-09T23:56:00.000+08:00

mum's sick. she has been having these giddy spells all day. Dunno wats wrong la. menopause maybe. she cant even get up or move around. and she's been vomitting air. u know those kinda vomit where nothing comes out but sound. anyway tt means tt all the chores fall on me. which sucks.

not tt i cant help her out once in a while u know.. i mean of she's sick she's sick. cant blame her... but.. it just sucks when u're out to school at 930am and come back at 930pm to find out that u have to clear the kitchen, wash the dishes n do the laundry. i dunno. im just ticked for some reason. perhaps im just tired.

but i reali cant stand the way my mum still can be so annoying even when she's sick. my mum has this really bad habit of telling ppl how to do things exactly the way she wants it. and its damn irksome i tell u coz u know me.. i like to do things my way coz i know tt i can always find a way to do things more effectively. my mum is just anal with a capital A. she just like things to be exactly the way she wants it to be at every step of the way. somehow, she tinks tt deviating will not yield the same result. which is a concept that i thoroughly do not understand and have a hard time agreeing with. its the journey not the destination my ass. its always the destination- cradle to grave. we all do things differently in between but end up in the same place. case in point, anna nicole smith.

sigh.

but i guess writing is freeing up the knot i have (which i cant tell is in my head or my heart) again. tt had always been the goal anyway. unloading.

but one thing i cant understand is how i always fail to put down what i truly feel inside. i am fully aware and conscious of all my decisions to disclose my feelings only partially. for example, i could have reali been pissed n b like fck this and fck that coz i have to do the chores.. but somehow i dont translate it into my writing. not tt i dont wish to, i just dont. and tt is a barrier that i find immensely difficult to overcome. it sucks, balls.

but anw, i feel like going to bed. im shagged. totally. n i might not b able to see Brody tmr. i reali want to see Babel. well, fck it. i guess tts life.

2007-02-08T02:08:00.000+08:00

its 2.09 a.m. I think its time i sat down and updated. ok ok ok.. will do..

hmm. where shall we start?

it seems i left off from the jbp submission, so lets just start there la huh.

ok. so the submission sucked coz i forgot to put in my reference page!!! and lagi worse, i did make a lot of references. but then again serve me right la coz i PROCRASTINATED and PROCRASTINATED like crazy. the result? a poor quality report on my part, and no cash prize for me. kwa3. kla. no surprises there.

on to other important things in my life.

work. work thus far has been quite fun. im beginning to settle into the role as an educator. last year i was still caught up with the idea of being a teacher and i played tt role once i step into the tuition class. but then i realised that i was unneccessarily stressing myself out. if my boss needed a teacher, she would have hired some moe trained ppl.. but obviously she's more interested in personality and hiring ppl tt are just like her - ppl who can get along well with kids. of course there is a bad side to this.. discipline at the centre pretty much sucks. aahaha. especiali my classes la. damn noisy. but at the end of the day, we have fun and we all learn something new.

family. the peeps are doing great. so are the felines. jus two glaring issues:

1) i tink my bro is gonna get married next June which is 3 months earlier than wat was initially planned.
2) i tink my parents kinda are in denial tt im turning 21 and starting work next year. its kinda obvious bcoz they still expect me to tag along when they want to go out. and sometimes i reali dun wanna go out with them bcoz they're the type who go to one place, buy one thing then come back. like.. so.. waste my time ah.

school. this sem is quite terok la. projects projects and more projects. and lotsa projects mean lots of presentations.. u would think that the special proj course tight deadlines would have gotten me used to presentations and it wud be like ba.. easy..

think again.

the standards keep getting raised. somehow there's always one group in your class which has upped the standards. which sucks coz once they raised the bar u have to live up to the standards to try to even get a B. wat more an A. but haiz. wat to do. such is life.

Brody. We're doing good. he's stepped up his focus this sem. trying to score straight As which i tink is possible for him. I mean.. its onli fair.. he's so hardworking la. like.. scary hard working. we have resorted to a more or less "routine" work week so that we dont see each other too little.
On mondays and wednesdays he would normally see me off for tuition. then we go out on saturdays.. movie/scrabble/fringe performances or dinner. since we are both struggling to put ourselves thru sch, i suggested that we limit our total spendings on outings to about 30 bucks. i mean, if we go for a movie, its already like 18-19 bucks. which leaves us about 11-12 bucks for dinner. so usuali we will eat sme cheap2 alacarte or fastfood meal.[some ppl like real onli dun wan to eat macdonald's after waching super size me. hahahha. i knew it. ur will failed u.] if we eat a more expensive dinner, eg Swensens or Breeks, we dun go for movies. Instead, we just sit down somewhere to play Scrabble, or take photo, or watch free concerts or just sit and talk lor.
we're supposed to study together on sundays. he's more disciplined than me. sometimes i skip coz i oversleep =]

other developments.

jus got a new laptop courtesy of HP/Compaq and Starhub. not bad la. a bit slow. coz there's very little ROM and RAM. so.. tink shud upgrade.. but i got no money. so tt can wait.
confirmed FYP group with minah and zhen. woots.

bought 2 peeptoe pumps for going out and one slipper for school from fond hugs.
oh ya. Brody lost his camera. n i was with him at tt time. ahhahaha. fainted la.

Any Other Business?

1) i tink i have some sort of irritable bowel syndrome. excessive flatulence la. IOW, fart n burp too much. i dont reali wanna go to a western doctor coz i reckon they'll just attribute it to poor diet and all. which i dun tink in my case applies la coz i eat veg and fibre and i even take vitamin supplements.. hmm. anyone know of any alternative treatments? TCM? Ayurveda?

2) i feel like cutting my hair short2 ah. after exams ah. short as in.. just below ears that type. i wan a professional but easy to maintain look for attachment. but im scared!! coz i tink its so easy to go wrong with a short hair cut. plus, i think it will emphasise my round-ish face. how? suggestions? objections?

Should i or shouldn i? help me make a decision, ppl.

2007-01-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

sometimes those thoughts swim in your head.
they don't stop.
they won't stop.

they dog you.
lingering..
refusing to let go.

they grip tightly,
think. they say.
harder. they taunt.

you can't refuse.

you need an outlet.
and find one.

your sanctuary.

they love you.

a pat on the back.
and another
and another

and then.. ouch.

somewhere, somehow, someone throws u off kilter.

u fall.

ur thoughts fail.

those inward tendencies u once rid comes back to haunt.

doubts you once had
resurface.

it all stops.

then one moment it just clicks.

the blade falls out of your back.
and everything falls into place.

some ppl appreciate u more than others, u realise.

a realisation that rekindles ur thoughts.

somewhere, somehow, someone else will love you.

bygones.

-Nia Dijam-
The stab in my back

we've all been hurt before

2007-01-05T23:25:00.000+08:00

Abigail W. Leonard
LiveScience.com

Science might be able to explain our fascination with Brad Pitt's chiseled jaw and George Clooney's smoldering eyes.

Women seem to judge potential mates by how masculine their features are, new research shows. Men with square jaws and well-defined brow ridges are seen as good short-term partners, while those with more feminine traits such as a rounder face and fuller lips are perceived as better long-term mates.

(OH SO TRUE!! hee2 =p)

In the study, 854 male and female subjects viewed a series of male head shots that had been digitally altered to exaggerate or minimize masculine traits. The participants then answered questions about how they expected the men in the photos to behave.

Overwhelmingly, participants said those with more masculine features were likely to be risky and competitive and also more apt to fight, challenge bosses, cheat on spouses and put less effort into parenting. Those with more feminine faces were seen as good parents and husbands, hard workers and emotionally supportive mates.

Despite all the negative attributes, when asked who they would choose for a short-term relationship, women still selected the more masculine looking men. Brad and George then would be picks for a brief romance, if not the long haul.

Makes sense.

The new study's author, Daniel Kruger at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health, said that from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense women would view more masculine-looking men as potential flings and less masculine-looking ones as long-term partners.

The key, he said, is testosterone, the hormone responsible for development of masculine facial features and other secondary sexual characteristics.

Testosterone is necessary for development, but can also have detrimental health effects. It has been shown, for example, to interfere with the body's immune response, so men who are able to maintain high levels of the hormone are typically strong and healthy - traits women would want to pass on to their progeny.

Increased testosterone has also been linked to male cheating and violence in relationships, so while these men might produce high quality offspring, they don't always make great parents or faithful mates, Kruger says.

The study suggests women could be equipped to use seemingly superficial characteristics "as a cue to pick up on trends in these behavioral strategies," Kruger said.

[Men with more feminine features, such as a rounder face and fuller lips (left), are perceived as better long-term mates and fathers. Women view men with characteristically masculine features, such as a square jaw and well-defined brow ridge, as good short-term partners.]

While the findings are compelling, the scientific community has typically greeted the field of physiognomy, which links facial characteristics to certain behavioral traits, with skepticism.
Kruger argues, however, that the research is a valuable tool for understanding mating strategies. And, of course, for explaining how Pitt and Clooney managed to snag People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" title two times each - it might have to do with their genes, but could also have something to do with ours.

Hee3. Just sharing one of the most interesting and accurate articles i read this week.

2006-12-31T00:24:00.000+08:00

THANK U FOR MAKING IT A BRILLIANT (SATUR)DAY FOR ME.

off with the folks to nevernever( lucky never flood) land.

2006-12-27T01:59:00.000+08:00

2007 soon.

mixed feelings la.

im gonna be legal on paper. (and im starting to wonder if i shud reali celebrate)

scary ah. i dont want to grow up seh.

susah tau jadi adult. nak kena kerja, jaga mak bapak, cari "the one", kahwin, beli rumah, beranak. if i want to take an MBA, whose gonna sponsor seh? kalau bapak taukey golden chance takpe jugak.. kalau bf anak raja ok jugak.. hee2.. (but i doubt i'll b as happy)

actuali i can see the year ahead passing by very quickly.

jan is the time of writing and submitting the jbp project (submission date 13 jan), of buying books and adjusting to the new tutors at sch, the new timetable, new lappie, the new students at tuition centre, and mum's bday on the 24th (nak belikan wallet bonia.. its the makciks fav "luxury" brand)

feb.. the time where we will realise tt we have been neglecting our studies and partying too much.. and where we will try to catch up with work during the one week break.. the time where i would like to finally, start with my class 3 license (which has seen its fair share of rain-checks). also the month of valentines', where other couples will be busying themselves buying (marked-up price) gifts. we shall spare ourselves tt agony.. kiter tak celebrate valentines la beb..

march.. one word: anniversary. this one we will celebrate =] coming to the close of the term.. foresee week 9 to 11 as being hectic crazy. proj deadlines, assignments, presentations.. (u know the drill)

apr.. exams. haha. seriously. it IS that soon. and we will probably start the campaign for pulling in students to the school. also the time to bring forward all the tuition lessons from may. preparing the kids for mid yr exams.. i imagine a squishy timetable..

beginning may.. start of internship.. (SCAREHHHHH)

end may.. turning the big TWO-ONE

june.. internship

early july.. end of internship..

end july.. 24/7 & 27/7 as important dates. early2 korang da book. hee2. must remember to start saving for someone's chocolate buffet. also the culmination of "promote ntu campaign". haha. actuali looking forward to doing ambassador stuff under prof geraldine.

august.. start skola lagi.. YEAR 3!! final year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sept.. ramadhan.. prolly joining the Shell competition wif members ku, syaz

oct.. raya puasa.. prolly be away at kota kinabalu for the competition. good.. dun hav to face the pretentiousness of raya.

nov.. exams.. again..

dec.. this is where i realise i only have 4 more months to complete my fyp and graduate. SERAM beb. i foresee a lot of frustration and nak terkencitness. end of december i'll be doing wat im doing now.. which is speculating wat i cud be doing the next year. and the realisation tt i wud have to leave the peaceful (relatively unpolitical) singapore education system and plunge, head first into corporate life. THINKING OF IT MAKES ME NERVOUS AS HELL.

i am not afraid to admit it.

i dont want to grow up.

DISCLAIMER: i do realise this is an idealistic and super naiive projection la.. kita hanya merancang, tuhan yang menentukan.. kan?

2006-12-24T01:43:00.000+08:00

we went to a play by teater kami entitled 'Pulau Tekong: From Saladin to Ayer Samak'.

Its basically a play about the "supernatural" things tt our boys seem to come across during their time at tekong. the setting of the play is a topography.. umm.. thing.. tt our boys have to go thru during ns. basically, they are dropped in the middle of nowhere, given maps and compasses and have to make their way to 12 checkpoints in 3 days in the jungle. the main players are 2 soldiers, one overzealous, gungho one, and the other, a guy with a third eye. along the way, this third eye guy keeps coming across this girl, an "orang bunian" (ppl in another dimension) who sorts of leads them to all the checkpoints. at the end, the guy accidentally "shoots" the girl's bf with his blank rounds, and said to the girl tt he would bear responsibility. so the girl.. umm.. "takes him into her realm".. and he dies..

i guess the writer (who was also one of the players) tried to be helpful by inserting some religious elements into the play. although, at times, i found it kinda annoying in a dogmatic sorta way. especiali when they did not prepare a place for prayers altho the play was slated to start at 8 pm. so, basically, i did not know what to think la.. although, i would not want to judge in such circumstances. i belief it would be unfair to do so.

in terms of acting, i could say that subtle can be vivid sometimes. but, coming from some one who cant act for nuts, they did a good job. my favourite part was when the overzealous guy said tt ghosts were not real, tekong is reali very boring and the boys just make up the stories to impress their mums and girlfriends.

"U, hari tu kat Tekong I nampak hantu..."

"I terus kejar dia, tembak pakai blanks"

"Kan macam mana punya hero la!"

haha.

i wondered if its true. them just making up stories to impress. i mean, it is very plausible.

on the turn out, i was pleasantly surprised to say the least. there were about 50ish ppl there despite it being staged at cairnhill arts centre which is reali kinda out of the way and pretty dingy, to be honest. i also learnt tt they had a matinee show earlier, and i think the turn out must have been around those numbers too. to me, it kinda shows that hey, there are quite a number of ppl who are interested in the arts and ready and raring to support our local artists, ESPECIALLY if the work is something people can relate to.

im not an artist, so i wouldnt know. but from my experience of being around arty farty ppl, there are usually quite weird. as in, the way they think and the way they see things is normally very different from us 'normal' ppl. and of course, as an artist, i would expect them to have a heightened aesthetical "sense".

but wat im getting at is tt, artists reali shudn feel forsaken (or maligned) and deliberately set themselves apart from the society ( which is wat i feel some artists are always subconsciously trying to do). if they reali want to share the joys, thoughts and feelings of their art, then they must find a way to do it in a way that can touch and reach the audience easily.

in terms of financial support, i can see why local artists find it difficult to make a livelihood. we paid $12 for each ticket and i guess for this play they could probably make about $1000? (altho this is a terribly optimistic figure) takeaway their rent for the space, A/C and stuff and split it among 5 players. they wont reali get much. and its not like each of them can churn out a new play every week.. these things require a LOT of commitment in terms of TIME, SKILL and EFFORT to even present something that is halfway decent. so, there should be some empathy in terms of their financial plight.

that said, i do have some friends in the arts circuit who are supporting a very comfortable lifestyle, doing the things they love. for example, being a drama coach or choreographer for schools and stuff. i guess, just like any other person, hard work and diligence pay off. so, seen from this angle, it might be difficult to say that artists are poor (coz tts wat they all say).

and another thing, i believe we shud stop comparing our society and local audiences to audiences in Europe who are already well-versed and have sophisticated appreciation for the arts. i see that our society is slowly but surely becoming more and more receptive to the arts. the challenge here for our artists is to pacify audiences, give us more relevence and help us understand and appreciate the finer strokes of art.

so there. my sentiments for tonight.

and as for the play, mek gives 3.5 out of 5 stars.

good night.

=]

2006-12-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

Freefall

Have u tried to freefall?
Letting go of all u have
No control
Just let go..

Have you tried to freefall?
When all plans fail
No future in sight
Relinquish to the light

Who's to say they are cowards
For they dare face the unknown
Of what is going to happen
Of how much it will hurt

Have you tried to freefall?
Is the pain quick?
Is it severe?
Or is it both?

And when the cold sets in
Do u shiver?
Or just feel numb?

Does death linger around?
And hang like a miasma
Denigratingly
Over you

Have u tried to freefall?
When ur heart is broken
Not for the first time

They beckon u over
Whisper sweetness in ur ears
Urging u to let go
With a push, ever slightly so

"Everything has an end."
they murmur

Have you tried to freefall?
And mend urself back again?
After losing all u want
Like the boy who drives u insane.

-Nia Dijam-

2006-12-11T22:21:00.000+08:00

to each his own.

an idealistic, simplistic and almost impossible virtue to live by.

why?

because we are so caught up with telling ppl the "right thing to do".

because telling ppl the right thing to do validates us. it makes our actions more correct. more justified. or even if we are making the same mistakes, it demonstrates that at least we know "what's right".

it just makes us feel better.

i've tried to live by this dictum.

but again, i found it almost impossible.

why?

because i wish to have a say in everything said or done around me. if i truly were to live upon this virtue, i would not want to encroach on thoughts and opinions of others. ur opinion is urs, mine is mine.

but i succumb to parker's temptation. no, not peter parker.. nosy parker. i believe the colloquial term for this phenomenon is "kaypoh". i cant help but want a say abt someone.. or how someone does something.

like blogging.. in theory i understand the notion of to each his own. evryone is entitled to their own opinions on their own turf. but i cant help but cringe at the sort of things written. Wittingly inviting controversy. at first i thought of it as random, desultory and mostly feeble, pathetic attempts at publicity. but to think of it, it may in fact stem from a very basic physiological need. the need for security.

we want to be validated by others. and patronage, backing and support might just do it.

conversely, we want opposition. divergence of thoughts. we want separation from the rest so that we feel unique. Maslow's self actualization perhaps.

this tool of blogging is powerful. u can carve a sort of superlative image over others. mostly (and sadly) by conforming to the archetype bloggers. at least tt has been my observation thus far. i believe it gives a just portrayal of life itself, applying it to a broader scope.

thinking about it just motivates me to know myself and be myself. i want to be someone who doesnt need corroboration.

"so the good boys and girls take the so-called right track,

faded white hats..

grabbing credits and maybe transfers..

they read all the books but they can't find the answers"

-'No such thing' John Mayer-

2006-11-23T18:52:00.000+08:00

im supposed to be studying for my astronomy exams tmr. but i reali dun feel like studying coz i dont think the professors are credible. here's why.

Notes and AMINATIONS. cute.

PASS examination questions. (but fail spelling)

SPEICAL section.

i rest my case.

2006-11-16T16:14:00.000+08:00

welcome, to my first (i wish i had a) how-to book. enjoy.

The Philophobic's guide to Landing a guy.

Prelude

i started this book with one intention in mind. to become the next Dr Phil. ok no, not reali. its to make lots of money. but of course my secondary goal is to help ppl, bcoz i have a good heart. really.

Dedication

To AhBoy & AhGirl. thanks for being the best cats alive. i wouldn have been here without u.

Chapter 1

some of u have been lonely for a long time. and really, u're not asking for much. just a companion to be with. to love and to love u (tt is, if u believe in love). i understand tt some of u might be facing a sense of despair. might have been a past experience (a bad one at that) but my advice is, strive on. improve urself, not just to snag a guy. improving urself enhances ur self-confidence, and thus, u will feel more ready and equipped to go for him.

really, its not that difficult to snag a guy.

its true wat they say, all guys are the same.

well, i'm not saying that ALL guys are the same per se, but i think its pretty easy to categorize guys into.. umm... categories.

in this first chapter, we will be looking at dissecting the general male population into manageable bite-sized chunks. this categorization of the male species is usually dependant on the likes and interests of the subject. A disguised study conducted on a long-term basis by moi revealed underlying patterns. Below, i list (and enumerate) some examples. they may not be precise, but data from sample suggest they possess a certain degree of generalizability and thus have external validity.

Type 1: GEEKs. Likes & interests: Gadgets, computer stuff, science, maths and related subjects. Soft spot: Fellow gadget girls. Also have an unexplained weakness towards the unattainable such as school belles and hot babes. Strengths: Mostly talented and high probability of high paying jobs (read: CASH COW!!). Weaknesses: Lacklustre in the looks department and basically suck in the romance/charm arena. Typical look: no brand t-shirt, no brand pants, no brand sneakers and no brand sling bags. Famous examples: The dorks who created google.

Type 2: RESIDENT HOTTIEs. Likes & interests: Always seeking for ways to better self in order to attract more honeys. Soft spot: Girls who flaunt it because they have it. Usually flits around from girl to girl until he finds THE ONE.. or impregnates someone. Strengths: Well-dressed/coiffured, hot bods, usually good dancers, "experienced".. choose wisely and u may end up with a trust fund baby (read: YEA BABY!!) Weaknesses: not many, but they're mostly JERKS. Typical look: Bright, fashionable, expensive looking clothes, clean-shaven and an unmistakeable swagger. Famous examples: Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt.

Type 3: THE EMOs. Likes & interests: The arts, intellectual musings, listening to, composing, arranging music. Soft spot: The "girl of (his) dreams. She has a beautiful face, a beautiful heart, a beautiful mind, a beautiful soul". Strengths: He can sing and as an added bonus, can write u poems, even songs. Weaknesses: Frequently depressed, possessive and tendency to unload their emotional baggage crap on u. Typical look: Ruffled, sexy messed up hair, band t-shirts, worned jeans, converse-ish sneakers and an acoustic guitar. Famous examples: John Mayer, Azahari J(ok. so he's nt famous, yet).

Type 4: THE ABANG2s. Likes & interests: practical things like good food, dirty jokes, hot girls, motorbikes etc. Also has some strange affinity towards "The Newpaper", Timberland-ish shoes and things they feel make them look "cool". Soft spot: They go for a girl tt suits their taste, both extrinsically and intrinsically. Strengths: Chilled, laid-back, easy-going and practical. Weaknesses: Most have low to zero wit and have a tendency towards stereoperception. Also known to display HIGH INSENSITIVITY. Typical look: Dark, plain shirts, dark baggy jeans, rugged facial hair, those timberland-ish shoes. Famous examples: Jesse James, Anthony Bourdain.

Type 5: THE WTVs. Likes & interests: pursue long term goals instead of worrying about short term goals. Soft spot: Similar girls. Strengths: Analytical, forward-thinking and non-conformist. Weaknesses: Sometimes too wtv until u become fed-up with their wtv-ness. Typical look: The wtv look - wtvla tshirt, anyhow wear pants, berms, flipflops or wtv footwear they can find. Famous examples: Glenn Ong, tt guy from Scrubs.

I've just brought u thru some of the characteristics that u can use to classify guys and hopefully, u can determine the segment that u want to target. think of courtship as a marketing strategy. First, u need to segment ur consumers. Next, decide on the best segment to target, one in which u have high chances of promoting urself successfully.

Once, u have already done tt, the next step is to position urself. To do tt, u first have to know wat ur customers want. This will be covered in chapter 2.

(To subscribe, pls transfer $1 to my POSB account. alternatively, u can pay me a compliment on the tagboard. and NO.. saying tt im annoying or tt ive lost it doesnt count)

2006-11-10T02:30:00.000+08:00

2006-11-06T10:36:00.000+08:00

someone has to get me out of this downward spiral man.

no.. i am not depressed. FAR from that.

im happy. yes yes.. im very very happy.. but the downward spiral i was referring to was mainly my brain.

i dunno why la.. but i'm seriously becoming like.. dumb.

WHY?

have i been around too many kids and tried to get down to their level and as a result im stuck at tt level?

hee2.

tt sucks.

i need to start being stimulated by some intellectual waves man.. i need to bring myself from a neutral state to a desired state (arousal theory).

i feel sooooo dumb.. and out of touch... i din even know about the McCartney divorce.

:(

2006-11-02T01:52:00.000+08:00

I know, you love me

And soon you will see,

you were meant for me

And I was meant for you

2006-11-01T23:53:00.000+08:00

OH SHIT!!!

oh reali shit! oh my freakin godness!!!!! aaaaaaaaaah.

i am in DEEP SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

godddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.

this sux.

let me just die,.

..

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshishitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit.

ok.

im done.

boy, i guess its true wat they say,

blogging is cathartic.

2006-10-22T22:32:00.000+08:00

Let's get in the mood!

=]

Come come, let Kak Ain teach u the lyrics to this song.

It was one of the earliest Hari Raya songs.. Recorded in the 1960s. This is not the original version.. The original one had like references to firecrackers and wat-nots, not suitable now mah.. so they've updated it.. Nonetheless, its quite nice this version. I've also included a broken english "subtitle". So enjoy & try to sing along!

Selamat Hari Raya (originally sung by Saloma)

Verse 1
Selamat aidil fitri (Happy celebrations)
Kepada saudara serta saudari (To all family & relatives)
Setahun hanya sekali (Every year only once)
Merayakan hari yang mulia ini (Celebrate this blessed day)

Verse 2
Di masa bulan Ramadan (During the month of Ramadan)
Kita berpuasa hingga sebulan (We fast for a month)
Pabila Syawal menjelma (When Syawal* comes around)
Hari raya disambut dengan gembira (Hari raya is celebrated happily)

Miskin kaya memakai baju baru warna-warni (Poor or rich, All wear colourful clothes)
Mengunjungi sanak kaum famili (To visit family and relatives)
Sungguh hebat pemandangan di hari raya ini (What a glorious sight)
Tua muda wajah berseri-seri (Old & young, All the face radiating)

Marilah bergembira (Come, be happy)
Bersama menikmati hari raya (Together enjoy hari raya)
Mintak mak kuih sepotong (Ask mother for a slice of kueh)
Saya mahu makan kerna perut kosong (I want to eat because my stomach empty)

Repeat Verse 1 & 2

Maafkanlah jika ada terlanjur perkataan (I apologise for all my wrong-sayings)
Diharap supaya jangan disimpan (Hope u dont bottle up your feelings)
Kuberdoa selamat panjang umur murah rezeki (I pray for your longevity & prosperity)
Semoga Tuhan akan memberkati (May god bless u)

Selamat hari raya
Hari untuk kita bersuka ria (The day for us to happy2)
Selamat kami ucapkan (We wish you well)
Untuk kita hingga sampai tahun depan (Until we meet again next year)

Selamaaaat haaarii raaaayaaaaaaa!!

Then u must end with jengjengjeng jengjeng jeng jengjengjeng..

Selamat Hari Raya! Happy Public Holiday!

hee3 =]

2006-10-21T22:56:00.000+08:00

lol!

Please dont set so difficult question because most of us dont have moustache!

click here to see the sexy babe!

thanks shah!

2006-10-13T08:00:00.000+08:00

top of the mornin' mateys!

AHOY!

no.. not chips ahoy.. OI. fasting la. morning morning think of food already.. Ish3.

GARRh.

i cant re-sleep lor. i have a presentation later on in the afternoon n im pretty freaked coz its like 10 freakin percent of the course n there's like onli 2 of us. hohohohoho. im confident but just worried la so i keep going over the presentation over and over again in my head until now i cant sleep!! and yesterday i spent like from 8 pm til like 12 midnight doing up the slides. ya. usuali i'd onli take like 2 to 2 1/2 hrs for a grp presentation but this is like double the time. have to admit la, its bcoz i'm anal when it comes to like reports or powerpoints. i like have to make sure tt everything is perfect. i dunno y la. perhaps im just weird. haha. yeah. Perhaps. anw, this time there's like 37 slides.. and my slides are from 2- 11. we have about 7.5 mins each to present so i dunno how my fren is gonna cover 36-10= 26 slides in tt amt of time.

but then again. tt is her sluardalam ah. i did my part already.. actuali, i did more than wat i was supposed to do anw, so.. yup its every man for himself. or rather, every woman for herself.

alas, i tink there are better things to worry about this morning.. like.. what to wear..

i'm supposed to present as a management trainee for the PR department of a bank.. like.. wtf right. wat am i supposed to wear sia. i dun have a suit. BELOM BELI (haven't buy). if the school wants me to present in the suit then they can jolly well sponsor me or provide an ATTIRE LOAN (much like a computer loan). they tink i can suka2 throw money to buy suit ijit? hekk ah. TAKDE MASE(no time).

kla. actuali i do want a suit la. the problem is, ongkos nya nggak ada (money no enough).. so not my fault right.. the best i can do is put on some decent office wear. anw, bank uniforms are like so ewww. hello.... tts y i went into marketing okkay.. not B&F. bleargh.

ah nehmind la. i shud do better for my presentation in order to make up for not wearing a suit right. i think can la (insyaAllah). hohohohoho. later im having my first Career Prep session. its this thing where ppl come in to teach u wat to wear and stuff. and personal grooming. like huh.. u want me to spend 3 hrs every Friday morning to learn abt personal grooming? and its onl 1 AU? I can learn personal grooming from my cat ok. Thinking about the lesson makes me bored already. c'mon la. 3 hrs sia. cant they make it snappy?

I can.

Here's my take on good personal grooming for business.

1. Bathe everyday - soap & shampoo pls
2. Brush teeth, wash face
3. Hair must comb.. no irritating fringe or flyaway hair
4. Ear must dig
5. Nose must blow
6. If wearing sleevelss, shave armpit
7. If sweaty, use deoderant
8. Make sure clothes have been washed or at least, smell good
9. Iron clothes
10. Wear proper shoes. preferably black/brown leather.
11. Ladies with hairy legs shud wear pants. if they insist on wearing skirts, pls shave. and PLS. pls, i beg u not to let ur leg hair grow out in stubs. OMG. tt is like.. the worstest.
12. men : socks MANDATORY and long. i dont want to see leg hair. as afore mentioned, it is the worstest.
ladies : pantyhose optional
13. appropriate accessories. do not over-bling.
14. proper bag, preferably black/brown leather and branded.

tts it ba. more importantly is ur confidence. and if u can wear sthg tt is unique but still tasteful, then tts where u score points ma.. aiyo. liddat also need to take 6 X 3 = 18 hrs tp teach. Y?

y?

Y?????

anw, i still hav to go coz they take attendance.

yuck.

2006-10-07T04:21:00.000+08:00

ARRRRRRR!!

hey world!! *jumps up n down, squeals, waves!*

hee2.

as u can see..... im waaaaaay waaaaaaay off tt depresssive mood i've had the past several days. Blame it on hormones man.. tt little thing we all like to call "mrs estrogen". She sucks ya know.. capable of makin us feel lousy and moody for no apparent reason. Down with mrs estrogen!! Yargghhh!

anw, im back to my happy happy"JOOOYYY to the world" self! and i would first like to apologise to all my friends whose msges i didn reply... IM SO SORRY. i shud be shot. but the problem is, i did feel like i was shot. hence the song. but then again, maybe its just because i love kill bill! hee2.

speakin of which, i wanna be uma thurman!! isnt it great to b like uma thurman? she's so like gorgeous and tall.. and the best thing is, she was once with ethan hawke!! NYEAaahhh!! anyway, did u know tt she's Buddhist? so is Richard Gere.. and like Uma Thurman's dad is like some monk or sthg.. and their family and Richard Gere does a lot to fund the abbots in like Tibet and stuff. and Uma's name is some Hindu or Sanskrit name or sthg coz like her family lived in India for like dunno how many years ah. Then her middle name is Karuna. Cool rite! oh ya. then did u know tt Ethan Hawke is also a writer and he actuali dedicated a book to her using her middle name. anyway, im sure they broke up just because he's too tall for her. i mean, just look at nicole kidman n tom cruise!! therefore, i conclude that Tall girl- Short guy romances do not work. Thank u.

But u know wat i looooove about Uma Thurman??? She has SIZE 11 feet!!! yey! big footed ppl rocks!!

anw, enough about Uma.. let's talk about... hmmm... ME. (MUAHAHAHA)

i tink i feel sooooo relieved coz i like finally finally managed to find the time to clean my room and move my furniture all around!! and im like gonna get rid of my study table (coz i dont study at my table.. wait.. i hardly ever study! haha!) and im gonna like donate it to my tuition center. so now when tt study table is out i can just get a bookshelf for all my stuff and best of all, i can get a new clothes rail to hang my clothes!! so i can have more space.. so i can buy more clothes!!! YEYEYEYYEYEY!! *clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap*

yaaa... coz rite, right now rite, my closet is like sooo gonna drop down already la... its like.. not messy lor.. i like totally fold my clothes nice nice and like iron all of those tt needs to be ironed and stuff. but its like so cramped together lor. coz last time rite, my dad decided to buy me this 2-door wardrobe, then i got say lor "2 door onli where got enough?!" then rite, he never believe me lor. but see!! its true!! my wardrobe goin to "piciak"(pecah) liao. dont believe? come i show u.

The seemingly innocent looking 2-door closet.

When we open it.. we dont see skeletons....

we see.....

*deep breath*

GASP!!

clothes!!

hee3.. u can see my baju raya in the picture!! *points*

seems quite harmless realli.. but considering how lackadaisical i am about other stuff, im quite anal when it comes to organising my clothes and accessories.. i categorise them according to categories and colours. hmm. difficult to explain. read on.

DISCLAIMER: some parts of the wardrobe have been omitted due to NC-16 reasons. =]

as u can see.. on the left door i hung this basket cointaining my contact lenses, talcum powder and stuff. then u can see my many2 belts hanging at the bottom. on the right door, i hang my long long beaded necklaces and stuff. altho the clip hanger thing keeps dropping....

the clothes
1) the baju kurungs, kebayas, pant suits and such. basically the kenduri/orang kahwin clothes.
2) office wear, kurtas, long sleeved shirts and the like.
3) jackets, blazers and work pants/khakis.
4) these are the stuff tt i usuali wear.. tshirts and stuff. also for cloths tt cannot be hung on the hanger coz some clothes will stretch or lose its shape if u leave them on the hanger.

the level 1 rack

1) cargos, jeans and fat pants
2) saline solution
3) aromatic candle, courtesy of a certain Miss Woodford
4) (top portion partially covered by a black shirt) this are the stuff i have which are short-ish. its like soooo leceh to find clothes tt fit me coz its like if the size is just nice then it'll be a bit short (blame it on long torso).. or if its like the right length then its big.. or like the collar is big and loose... always liddattttt.... its not my fault tt i was born disproportionate okkaayy.. grrrrr..
5) the stack of cloths which are like decent.
6) tank tops. i like to wear tanks under my clothes coz like i said, some of it is shortish or the neck is big-gish.. so the tanks provide extra coverage..
7) some belts and stuff from the clip hanger things tt keep dropping...

left door *points to contact lenses stuff*

right door

and that's still not it!! hee2/ i also use the top shelf of my "study" table for my accesories!

1) shades.
2) things tt can make me smell nice but i dont usuali use coz i prefer the smell of soap and shampoo.
3) bangles bangles.. i see dolphins....
4) headbands, hairbands and beanies
5) watches, beaded bracelets, the more "atas" jewellery
6) earrings, rings, pins, hair pins and more earrings

Muahahha! so now u see wat my wardrobe is like =]. next time when i finish doing up my whole room then i 'll show u more..

for now, let's watch I dream by Taufik Batisah, eh, no, Leann Rimes.. eh.....

hmmmm...

=p

2006-10-03T14:27:00.000+08:00

i feel like crap.

(read: mood swings)

2006-09-28T06:30:00.000+08:00

Thought for the day:

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

2006-09-27T16:19:00.000+08:00

i feel so saaaaaadddddddd...

u know why???

i havent been able to shop for so long....

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......

i want to shop...................

i want money..................

i dont have money........

u know why????

coz i had to cancel a lot of tuition last month...............

u know why????

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA............

i shant elaborate.

sigh.

imagine wat it'll be like if one day a wad of money just plopped down in front of u, from the sky. its sorta like the movie "Millions" if u recall.

or imagine if u were just walking walking home.. happily walking when u suddenly step on a ten thousand dollar note. manelah tau kan, orang nak kasi duit hantaran sekali tercicir ke.. or maybe ppl just sell their house skali get downpayment in cash ke... or some ah pek just collected toto money then it just dropped out of his pocket..

wat would u do?

i mean, u cant like go to a police station and report that u found a 10 000 dollar note wat. like wat can they do seh? trace it to the rightful owner?

if it were me, i'd just take it and consider it my luck lor. i wont even feel guilty. like. for wat sia? its not as if i saw someone drop it and i din bother to chase after tt fella right? lets just assume, hypothetically, tt there's nobody there.. i just accidentally stepped on wat i thought is a big rectangular brown paper. incidentally, i felt like looking down and scratching my ankle. then, to my utmost surprise, i saw tt it was a 10 000 note *SUPER SURPRISED FACE!*

the first thing i'd do, is of course, i'd pick it up and shove it in my pocket. then, right after picking up the note, i'd whip out my brush and i'll comb my hair. i must also remember to check my reflection in the mirror.. who knows rite, skali its some candid camera or gotcha prank. or someone set me up to get "PuNk'd" or sthg. so to get ready for such unforeseen circumstances, must maintain jembu ma.

then i'd walk away, fast. if right, after 5 minutes no one suddenly jump out from the bushes and shove a camera in my face or something.. then i know its for real! that's when i'll start being so happy that i wud need to pee!! and like the need to pee wud be so great tt i'll be jumping up and down excitedly! i wud go to one corner, or just get on the nearest elevator available and inspect the money to see if its real. of course, i must ensure tt no one is around.

once i know tt the money is legitimate and no form of deception or trickery is involved, the first thing i'll do is head home straightaway. of course the money would be shoved in the front pocket of my jeans and my hand will stay there AT ALL TIMES until i reach home. once i reach home, i'd transfer the note into my blue purse, which is in super bad condition already. then, i will change into the ugliest t shirt and jeans i can find in my wardrobe, mess up my face and hair and head towards orchard road, on bus 502 (from gek poh bus stop), clutching my purse tightly.

once i reach orchard road, the first stop would be Hermes at Wheelock Place.. Yes.. the place where they black out the windows and draw the blinds so tt "ordinary" ppl cannot look in. bloody show offs. i would saunter in, with my ugly clothes and uncombed hair and walk around, purposely touching everything on display. and i mean EVERYTHING.

then one of the store assistants (more explicitly, the one who visibly sneered when i walked in), would say something like "Miss....... *dramatic pause* Puh-leeze get ur (greasy) hands off the display items..." *haughty expression*

then i'd be like.. *cocks left eyebrow*

*draws in a deep breath* "why? *crosses arm* coz u think i cant afford them? *sneer/rolls eyes* get me those shoes in size 9 and that orange scarve on the top shelf.. and...... *points* that purple hand bag. make it snappy........ Miss. " *SUPER HAUGHTY DIRTY LOOK*

then she'll think im merely challenging her and she'll take down all these things for me.. thinking i cant afford them. i'll try on the shoes.. hmm.. they're pretty ok.. but i've seen better.. i take a look at the bag and see that its soooo last season and matronly. nope.. not for me.. oh well.. i'll just take the scarve then. wait. make that 2 scarves.. one in orange and the other, in a nude sand colour. heck. might as well get 2 more for my mum.

"i'll have these.." i say, not even asking how much each of them cost.

she, still in her challenging mode, brings it over to her cashier colleague, sharing a not-so-surreptitious smirk .

"that'll be $1879.35" , says the cashier girl, almost like giving an invisible hi-5 to her friend. "Take that, bitch.", they seem to be saying. then, with my now patented "selamba face", i'll take out 'THE' note from my worn out purse and give it to her.

Shock fills her system! Her eyes bulge out like pam anderson's u-know-wats. all she could think was GASP!! THE HOrror! The HOrrOr!!

her friend, of course, promptly faints and has to be resuscitated.

i, on the other hand, triumphantly collect my change ($8120.65 in total), stuff it in my soon-going-to-be ex-purse and cooly saunter out of the store.

a few minutes later, i hear a distant call... "Miss!" a handsome, young man calls out, chasing after me.

i tun around. slowly. deliberately. mockingly.

"U forgot to the scarves.." he says, handing me the Hermes bags.

Damn. Silly me.

As i extend my arms to reach for the bag.. i catch his gaze. His eyes were warm and hopeful. They seem to say "Be my sugar mama..."

i could only refuse him gently.

cos all i wanted to do was go for more SHOPPING!!!!!!!!

which reminds me..

i dont have money........

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.......

sigh.

2006-09-24T07:26:00.000+08:00

its my favourite time of the year!

Ahlan Wa Sahlan Ya Ramadhan.

Alhamdulillah, we get to witness the start of the fasting month this year. i reali reali loooove this month man.. there's nothing like it.

i know that some friends from other faith just view it as a torture.. no food, no water, no sex.. haha. but reali, its very difficult to explain the sense of earthiness u get when u have nothing but ur mind to spur u on for an entire month. to me, empowerment, u control all ur hormones, ur drives, ur wants. U are helm of ur own being. its beautiful.

A little bit of info for all my non-muslim friends (coz i know sometimes its confusing.. hee2)

Ramadhan is the 9th month in the lunar year. (It does not mean that Muslims worship moon. It is simply another way to count days of the month and the year.)
During this month, healthy Muslim adults observe fasting during the daylight hours.
Muslim fasting is a total abstention from eating, drinking, and sexual relations from dawn to dusk for 29 or 30 days of the month of Ramadan.
Avoiding immoral behavior and anger and showing compassion is part of the requirements of the fasting.
Fasting is one of the 5 pillars of Islam including

Announcement of Faith
Solat (praying 5 times a day)
Zakaat (the right of the poor on the wealth of the financially able)
Fasting during the month of Ramadan
Hajj (once a life time pilgrimage to Kaaba- tt's in Mecca, ppl).

Muslim get up very early to take their sahur, a pre-dawn meal before starting their fast.
Those who are sick, elderly, or on a journey, and women who are pregnant or nursing are permitted to break the fast and make up an equal number of days later in the year. If they are physically unable to do this, they must feed a needy person for every day missed.
Children should begin to fast (and to observe the prayer) from puberty, although many start earlier.
Individuals are exempt from Ramadan fasting if they are suffering from an illness that could be adversely affected by fasting (eg. diabetes mellitus).

So.. yep.. its quite flexible u see. and ya, if u're having ur period, u wont have to fast either.. u're sorta considered as "sick". haha. but as mentioned earlier, have to pay back the days la.

another thing i like abt the fasting moth is dat u reali get to sit down together for a meal with ur family for like a month. and we all know tt its very very difficult to do tt in the current situation. so its nice to have everyone having a civilised meal together.

im just happy lar. insyaAllah, hikmah Ramadhan dinikmati semua.

2006-09-20T16:05:00.000+08:00

UPDATES!

waaah. someboday so bz rite... until ignore her blog and all. sum more so serious. wahliao. pls la. *rolls eyes*

workload is somehow reali heavy this sem. and try as i might, im finding it rather difficult to score for my projects and presentations. it can be disheartening at times, but.. sigh.

actuali i feel hyper sia. i tink its bcoz of the goreng pisang i had this morning. i had THREE lor.. then i brought some and put it in someone's locker lor. so someone can eat. so someone can do well for test.

aiya. but my magic bananas din work la. someone's not feeling too good abt the test. but its ok la. I also got C for my bm 212 assignment. YES. C loh. nabeh.. spend so much time of it still get C. fpissed ok..

ouh. i just got back from this "lunch" thingie we're supposed to have with the vice dean of my school. i say "lunch" and not lunch coz we din reali get to eat la. its like.. the vice dean was there along with the sub dean and the dean of marketing. then like there was about 18 of us altogether, and so 6 in each grp. i got the grp with the vice dean and my fav minah (tts u, inez) inside. quite interesting la. and of course, as usual, i was the only malay there. i mean, i dun even feel odd anymore coz im like so used to being the onli malay in class lor. dun care aredi.

to think of it rite, we were cheated!!! its more like they're conducting a free focus group session loh. yes hor! to think abt it, it was! the 6-8 members per grp, the mediator, the letting ppl interact at comfortable distances, homogeinity in subjects, informal setting.. gASP!! so now i know tt "lunch" has a lot of connotations behind it. to think tt i was so daft.

oh. not much of a surprise ay.. *box u*

anw, besides being daft, i tink im quite cuckoo also ah. u know we have this "e-learning week" ah at nbs. so lectures for some subjects would be conducted virtuali.. so no need to come to sch la. on the poster it says its the week from 2-6 oct.. or sthg liddat la. the thing is, i thought it was this week lor!! so i happy happy skip my ab 213 lecture and stay and home yesterday. muahahahha. tragic sia.

so i thought that u know.. the blondness has sort of leaked into my scalp and through my skull, into my brain. reali, i told u before wat, i cud feel myself becoming dumber by the day. so i decided that it is time to GET BACK TO MY ROOTS *echo echo echo*. aiya. actuali long time nvr cut hair already la. so hand itchy2 want to go cut hair la. but seeing the condition of my bleached hair against the dark roots was rather horrid, i might as well dye it dark again rite. rite? of course im rite la.

so i went to kimage at pioneer mall to get my hair cut by terence. terence (liew) is the senior hairstylist at kimage pioneer mall and he's damn good! and damn nice! and he will like talk to u and explain to u like.. y he cut liddat liddat.. wat are the chemical compounds in hair dye that makes ur hair got colour, y u shud use cold water instead of warm water to wash ur hair.. all tt la. so actuali i enjoy the process of getting the haircut itself, tho i must say, he is a damn gd hair stylist la. his cuts are very nice and very easy to manage ah. so its very very suitable for sloppy ppl like me.

furthermore, u can reali see him enjoy his work la. he will like, u know, take his time to cut ur hair and reali wash it til squeky clean and like blow it til like super nice and straight but not like arrow straight but like natural straight. tinkcharlize theron. ya. like straight but not straight. the hair, mean. then he will have this like.. grin on his face.. sorta like grimace.. u know, the purple thing at mcdonalds.

no? k, bygones.

anyhoo, the cut + wash + dye + treatment + membership is abt $135. burnt a whole in my ever-shrinking pocket but actuali quite value for money la. then the membership is valid for 2 yrs and is transferable. means rite, if u wanna go cut hair at kimage then u can just ask me for my card lo. ok? oh ya. monday and dunno wat day got 20% discount. and its like at any kimage oso can la. so dun shy shy cat k. just ask. *wink*

kudos to someone for showing patience, being there for 3 hours. haha. so grumpy. fasting somemore. tu lah.. da cakap toksah ikut, nak ikut jugak (there, see i say dun need to follow, still want to follow). nehmind, wat doesnt kill u makes u stronger. thanks for accompanying me.

k.. so lets have one minute of silence to say goodbye to my old hair.

Rest in Pieces.

kla. type2 so long a bit hungry oso. i shall take my leave and have my lunner then (thats lunch + dinner).

until next time, i bid thee adieu.

2006-09-18T10:30:00.000+08:00

Je pense, donc je suis.

Cogito, ergo sum.

I think, therefore i am.

Famed words that resonate from Descartes.

of course, these words were first written as part of his Discourse on Method "paper", if u may allow me to say so, as an argument with himself to establish his "first truth"- to prove the existence/non-existence of the divine.

for me, the words go beyond anything to do with atheism or monotheism, a deceiving god or an evil demon.

these words, more importantly to me, reflect the self.

I think, therefore I am.

i exist because i think. As long as i think i am something, as long as i am able to conceive something, i am here.

but if u think of it, "i think therefore i am" only reflects Descartes' claim to certainty of his own self, not taking into account the minds of others. Was tt intentional? Do u think he felt that taking out other persons from the picture would make his thoughts "pure"?

No doubt, the inclusion of the minds of other persons, no matter how insignificant, would influence the thoughts of self. so, in essence, your interaction with others renders your thoughts marred.

is this, then, the difference between thoughts and perception? that thoughts are in itself, pure forms of self, and perception are thought plus noise and influence.

i believe so.

perception is manipulated, subconsciously or otherwise.

lets just take me, for instance.

has ur perception about me changed lately. i ask because i know deep within some of u, that
"perception", not "thought", is there.

has going blonde change ur perception of me?

at the least, im sure it has. u'd be thinking that i am more daring than u previously thought i was.

of course some have more extreme views than others, thinking tt ive gone wayward and im just some wild chick of sorts. Think again. and i say "think", not "perceive".

Perception, in layman terms can be explained as the way u "see" things. Perhaps that is y there is a tendency to look at somebody and "perceive" something.

maybe its human nature.

but, im sick of that excuse. "its just human nature". its a lame excuse. so rapists have to rape because it is their nature? im sure as human-ity, we could do better than that. tts why we are given brains.. to THINK.

i feel sad when i learn that people's perceptions of me has changed just because of my hair colour. its unfair to me, especially if u didnt know how i got it in the first place. and i know ppl will tell me not to care abt wat these ppl think but how can i not? i've known some of them for more than 5 years already and its just SAD to see that they are not THINKING.

of course i dont give two hoots about ppl who judge me when they dont even know me in the first place. these ppl are just pathetic. wat they shud do is look in the mirror. look hard and THINK whether the way ppl perceive them based on their looks is reali who they are. but then again, i suspect that these are the ppl who do not even know who they reali are. they merely have a perception of themselves.

mascara and lipgloss do nt make one pretty.

and a beard and a skullcap do nt make one pious.

these are just visual aids u use to help ppl "see" who u are. for them to have a perception of u. and u use these visual aids to line ur perception of urself with wat u want others to perceive u as.

i think, therefore i am.

i do not think, therefore i do not exist?

2006-09-05T00:12:00.000+08:00

hi!

i feel happy.. i dunno why..

maybe its bcoz i just shut out all negative feelings. altho ive been doiung things tt i may not be proud off, i just feel happy.

there's room to be forgiven.

at least im just being who i am.

i am standing up for myself.

im proud of me.

im happy.

genuinely.

:)

i'd like to thank you for trusting me, giving me personal space and for pretending like u dont read my blog.

thank my age old frens who've always been there, standing by me. no matter how unreasonable i can b at times. i am the first person to realise how much of an ass i can b. those who knew me since p5, sec 1, sec 3, j1. u know who u are.

thanks to the new ppl in my life who has brighten up my day with their wit, humour and charm. making me feel special some times. i probably do not deserve it. nonetheless, i appreciate it. a lot.

im so happy im happy.

Pics frm Akulturasi

pics of the set & rehearsals

i am the blurry image tt appears in the 2 above pics. haha.

pics with my dancing kakis

Group shot

Pics with the great friends who came to support

last but not least, 2 adorable men.

also a gerzillion thanks to mrs tan, prof tan, miss khoo and the dozens of nj peeps. we rock. and shah! i want our photos! hee2.

2006-09-03T22:20:00.000+08:00

Mad World (Cover)
Gary Jules
Originally by: Tears for Fears
OST: Donnie Drako

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces

Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where
Going no where

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression

Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very
Mad world
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday

Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me

Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
W hen people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world

2006-08-30T09:32:00.000+08:00

nyeeah. i skipped my 830 lesson today. later got presentation.. then after tt gotta go UCC liao. sianz.

check out the free IQ analysis i got from doing the standard IQ test last year.

i suspect my results for this yr is gonna b much worse. i feel like im getting dumber by day. seriously.

http://web.tickle.com/tests/superiq/paidresult.jsp

2006-08-29T09:09:00.000+08:00

getting really desperate.

so here's my publicity stint.

Akulturasi (Acculturation).

Takkan luntur dek warna, buana merona kerana manusia. (Unlike colors that fade, Earth becomes a vibrant place)

Globalization. Development. Changes. In this striving world, nature is no longer the driving factor for changes to occur. Humans are the main force that revamp, sketch and beautify Earth. Humans propel upgrading works in order to strive towards their goals and to attain success.

Even though Nature or Earth is modified resulting from human intervention, our hearts and identify as the Malay Community stay rooted and strong inevery individual. Our language and culture will not be waned easily nor will it be neglected. Even as we move ahead and sink into thisg lobalize world, the strong influence and preservation of our culture and language will still be within us even as we lead our daily, modernized lives. We can never stop embracing our language and culture despite various alternatives that have been introduced to fit into the modern world and to appeal to the younger generation.

The continuous changes around the world will not deter us from embracing our culture which has been a part of the Malay fabric for generations. Therefore, unlike colors that will fade as years go by, the earth becomes a vibrant place because of Man and development.

(click on image to enlarge)

Get the Friday tix. Seriously a lotttt of good seats left.. the choreography is reali unique i must say.. i am VERY VERY sure u'll enjoy it. i mean, the best part of it is, u get to meet me at the end of the show! it'll b like one of the rare times when u see me with make up on.. its a fair price to pay waaaaat.. right? right? right?

seriously tho, do come. tix at $12 onli.

2006-08-28T00:00:00.000+08:00

the amount of frustration.. agony... tt constipatedness is exactly wat i feel right now.

it just irks me.

seriously, if u want to choose leaders to lead ur organisation and/or team, pls choose someone who knows wat he or she is entitled and expected to do in that position. i seriously dont understand how ppl can just put ppl into positions of power especially without even reali thinking abt whether or not this person can carry out responsibilities.

maybe its just tt these ppl are just sometimes too desperate already, so they sort of just put in any candidate to fill up tt seat. like for example, I, ME, AKU was actuali nominated for a liaison officer post for a certain student organisation. i was like... wtf? who, me?

i have no idea wat they were thinking but seriously... i am sooooo not the "type" for "that" organisation? aren't they at least afraid that i would somewat tarnish their "reputation" with my blond streaked hair and wat not? and isnt it clear tt i dont reali get myself involved in most of the things they do coz most of the time i tink is quite pointless. they dont make the effort to include us "outstanding" ones anw. but i do try to help out in those things which i see actually has a point. coz i tink its important to do beneficial things for the community at large. bygones. i shall stop talking abt "them" coz i dont want to b accused of slandering.. (which is wat they accuse anyone who talks abt them)

back to the topic.

like seriously. lets not even talk abt power. if u're given a responsibility, then DO it la. if not, then pls, for goodness sake, BEFORE u are given tt responsibility, tell them that u DO NOT want it. its only fair coz at the end of the day everybody doesnt have to suffer.

i reali dont understand how societies and groups of young ppl of university caliber can b so inefficient and indifferent. YES, we all DO have our own lives, but for goodness' sake, learn to balance ur time. and carry out ur responsibilities pls!!

if ppl had been more organised and had the foresight to see the amount of work and dedication they have to put in, well.. they wouldn fly to krabi then would they?

commitment?

fck la. commitment my arse.

pls dont use big words on me ESPECIALLY if u dont know the meaning urself.

i tink these ppl need to learn wat peter parker was taught.

WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY.

its just embarrassing to have holes in the audience seats where ppl are supposed to be.

2006-08-21T00:08:00.000+08:00

so romantic.

has philophobic been cured?

2006-08-18T01:02:00.000+08:00

everyone has a boiling point.

this afternoon my lecturer mentioned tt Asians generally have a low place in the cultural uncertainty avoidance dimension. meaning, Asians are generally tolerant, quiet, and less expressive. it does not mean tt we do not feel any uncertainty, tt we do not feel threatened or dissatisfied.. its just tt as Asians we try to hide our emotions. in my view, its probably bcoz often times, we do not know the best way of handling the matter. Furthermore, nothing in our culture teaches us how to express negative emotions. At best, we are told to just be patient and take it in stride.

The danger of handling anger this way is that all the rage or dissatisfaction tends to reach a peak, a so-called "boiling point". It is then where the expression of anger turns into outrage, and this, my friends, is what's so dangerous. afterall, there is a higher suicidal rate in such cultures.

So it was quite a surprise when i found tt Singapore was one of the lowest in the uncertainty avoidance index. Apparently, we are far from confrontational ppl. When we feel things are going wrong, we tend to keep it to ourselves. There is almost no expression in a formal channel. Worse come to worse, ppl just blog abt their woes and wait for it to be picked up by some journalist or wat-have-yous.

i tink this type of situation can be best expressed in my current dance group where there seems to be a lot of resentment with regards to ppl AND the way things are being done. yet, no one seems to be able to get their voice out. I understand.. it's nt tt i dont want to either.. Its just tt, for example, u wanna tell the coach something.. u wanna tell him tt he shud be more organised and not put too much pressure on ppl, but u cant do it. sometimes u cant even bring urself to put forward suggestions, no matter hw gd they seem. Perhaps this is the most evident form of a high power distance in our culture, where we are taught to respect and even kowtow to our seniors. the level of hierarchy is so apparent tt u avoid saying or doing anything u say bcoz u are scared tt u might be put back in ur place. or the hole u just crawled out from.

this kinda things sometimes make me forget tt i love dancing. but then again, the thing i love abt dance is tt its fun. and its fun bcoz of the company and the interxn we used to have btw ourselves and even between the coach.

i just think its sad tt in the process of creating a grand production like this, ppl tend to lose sight of how others are feeling. ppl tend to not see how much commitment is put into it. ppl cannot see the sacrifices. it is sad tt ppl seem to forget tt everyone has a life outside of dance practice and tt ppl want to spend time with their family, friends and their loved ones. i personally feel sad bcoz no one seems to see how difficult it is for me to let go of 2 wks of my tuition class, taking unpaid leave, cancelling my saturday private lessons just to give time for this. my income this month is cut by more than half because of this. and i keep on wondering, "is it worth it? or did i make a gargantuanly stupid mistake to sign up for this?".

it is sad because we feel tt it is a sacrifice in the first place. to b able to perform is a blessing, or at least its supposed to be. whatever happened to the philosophy i so strongly hold on to - it is not the destination, it is the journey.

i understand the pressure. we all live under some sort of pressure. but would u release ur tension to someone u know is pressurized as well? unlikely. y? bcoz it doesnt solve any problem and will just make both parties even more pressurized.

some ppl just dont perform under pressure. one example is me.

so just stop pressuring me. coz i might reach my boiling point.

2006-08-16T00:30:00.000+08:00

i didn realise tt i havent blogged for a month.. til reeza mentioned it.

wow. how time flies.

i know i need to start blogging again before whatever writing skills i have turns to dust.

its just tt... lately... i havent been inspired.

is it the lethargy i wonder? or hav i stopped caring? or have i started to wonder if anyone is free enough to come and read wtv i post.

things have changed.

have not been happy these few days.. and i feel bad.. and guilty.

its funny how everyone thinks im always alright and tt the secrets i keep are happy ones.

couldnt be further from the truth.

distances between two ppl far away is painful. but distances between two ppl so close is heart-wrenching.

i know i havent been able to spend time with the family. we all have our commitments. but when trust turns to doubt, things get ugly. i know tt worry is part of being a parent, but if u are going to let me stand on my own to feet, u have to do it committedly.

i've done my fair share of stupid things in life. perhaps a little bit more than some ppl. but i dont understand y if u can keep secrets frm me, i cant keep secrets frm u.

ever since i was young, my privacy wasnt respected. ppl just tried to delve into my possessions, my thoughts, to find out "what was really going on". In fact, nothing was. i was just in a growing up phase where i needed my own space and place to writed down my thoughts and feelings. and then i discover that my privacy had been violated. y do u think i stopped writing journals?

now, its tt time again. i am stepping into tt new phase in life. so many new thoughts, feelings and sensations running thru me. at least giv me the space. and think before u even say anything. how could u say im creating problems to u. do u know how hurt i was by tt comment?

im creating problems for u?

sometimes ppl dont realise tt they are the reason y we work so hard. i dont have to earn my own money. i can just ask u for allowance every month. yet i dont bcoz, if possible, i wanna take every burden away frm u. i would ask u to pick me up frm my late night practices or frm my tuition place, far on the other side. bcoz i know tt u are tired as well, plus the gas prices are up.

its nt cheap to support urself thru skool. and its nt easy to be committed to a job. i make it look so easy. and i know im nonchalant abt it. coz i keep thinking.. there are others who have a tougher life.

i guess i now know y i enjoy dance so much.

coz its an escape.

u take ur focus off everything else and just concentrate on those 8 counts. i feel blessed with my life. but i wish ppl could see tt each direction i step into takes a great effort and did not come abt like magic. i've worked hard for evrything tt i am, physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, rationally.

when i was young i wished to be under-appreciated. i guess my wish did come true.

happy birthday.

2006-07-14T20:46:00.000+08:00

hello. it's been a while.

yea. so im going to tell u sthg u know. tt i've been very busy.

yea. isnt everyone?

isnt it funny how sometimes we give so much to others such tt we have no time for ourselves. im sorry. im selfish. i am like no man magnanimous enough to give up himself for the benefit of others.

between foc, dance, tuition and him, im overstretched. how do u think i feel when i watch my mum's crestfallen face as i walk into the house after midnight, night after night.

i havent had time to read, havent had any time to catch up with any of my friends. not any. nicole, veena, shahreena, fharhana, reeza, razil, talib, ben. ppl i have promised myself BEFORE exams tt i would go out with. i havent met some of them for more than 6 months! i feel like a lousy friend. i feel like im not making any effort. and the worse thing is, i really am trying to make effort. it just seems impossible.

i dunno. perhaps its just me. im was just too used to having too much time for myself. time to watch movies alone, think abt stuff, walk home alone frm school, spend time alone with my textbooks, my novels, my time magazine, my vogue u.s edition, time alone watching oprah, on a lazy weekday afternoon. i miss that.

i miss crying for absolutely no reason. crying when im happy. crying just by watching them do touching stuff on oprah.. damn tt woman.. she has made me a mr softie.

i miss reading xiaxue's blog- my guilty pleasure. she's so dumb, shallow and hilarious i sometimes reali want to kill her. i imagine myself confronting her loud mouth and just spraying her with those stupid party foam things tt she kicked up such a big fuss abt.

i miss reading my friends blog, getting updates abt their life.

tt day, he asked me, if i had 3 wishes, wat wud they be..

i gave him the bullshit.. u know.. my family's health, 2nd one is personal and the third one i said 3 more wishes.

now i know wat i reali want, and wat no genie could ever grant.

i just want more time.

2006-06-12T01:07:00.000+08:00

so u wanna talk about "love"?

come. lets talk about love.

basically, i have no idea wat the big deal is.

like. y do u have to define "love"? is it because everyone just needs a definition to a word?

or is it because the way ppl describe it is so nice.. butterflies in ur stomach, a surge of adrenalin thru ur veins, cant take ur goddamn eyes off tt person, laughy, giggly, hands finding hands, hearts finding hearts, u tink of tt person's face day and night, cant sleep at night coz u have a sugar rush altho u havent taken any form of sugar watsoever, electricity, chemistry, biology etc.

do u need a definition to wat love is so tt u know or so tt u can hope to get or so tt u can actuali get these kind of experiences?

and y is this kind of love important anyway? and why is it different from the kind of love we have for our father, mother, siblings, friends. i mean.. we love all these ppl right? but how come when we see them we don't fly up to cloud 9, get all googly-eyed and weak in the knees?

y does the word "love" have a different meaning in the relationship context? y cant it take the same meaning as the parental context - that is, something tt occurs effortlessly.

i tink we, as ppl who have been exposed to fairytales, movies, romance books and such, have been disillusioned into thinking tt love only occurs once in a lifetime, tt opposites attract, tt truelymadlydeeply love starts off as love at first sight or tt first moment when u touch fireworks go bursting behind u or the world swirls aound u.

i mean.. c'mon ppl.. i watched message in a bottle.. i cried a few pails. i watched jerry mcguire.. i cried a few everglades. but "u..... complete me...." and "I would die if u leave me"? that's bullshit la... how can someone complete YOU. someone can complete ur life but can someone complete ur BEING? if the person dies will u die? ur heart completes u. ur lungs, liver, pancreas, spleen, appendix, bile duct, haemoglobin, myoglobin, ovaries, penises, grey matter, teeth, armpit hair. THEY complete u. and even so, take away some liver, blood and one kidney and u'll still be able to live. see? ur ORGANS leave u and u can still live, so IF UR LOVE LEAVES U, U WILL NO DIE!!

i have been there. tt place. tt lowest of lows. n i went thru it alone. HOW DO U THINK I FELT? i felt SO alone. i was CRUSHED. i didn leave him. HE LEFT ME. and he never got around to knowing tt he really meant something to me.

which is y i vowed not to "love" someone so hard again. i was simply scared of having my heart trampled.. no... STOMPED on again.. by his stupid Nike golf sneakers!!!!!!!! urrrghhh!!!!!!!!

i was doing fine being truly, honestly single this time, til someone new stepped into my life and begin to ease my woes, nurse my wounds, show me wat it's like to be loved. slowly gaining my trust, and just as slowly my perception is changing and i am in the process of recovery. i realise "love" is not difficult. it is easy. by tt, i dont mean it is not riddled by obstacles. im just trying to say tt this kind of love occurs just as naturally. no extreme highs.. no giddy feelings.. just tranquility.

how shall i describe it?

it just feels right.

i believe that when the right time comes by.. n u meet tt person.. u know u are going to be with him/her forever. just because u know deep in ur gut tt it feels right. when u meet the man/woman u want to marry, u just know, and he/she will just know too. and u talk about it as if its no big deal. its natural really. i have married friends who can attest to tt. its like.. u just know tt everything will feel right with this person. u can burp, fart, dig ur nose, be naked, be intimate n u know tt it will be fine and natural coz this person just loves u the way u are no matter wat u do.

and AGE. tts just a number. i believe u find "the one" no matter how old u are. 2, 12, 20, 62. doesnt matter. if u tink tt u are really right for each other, u will ride through life together.

and another thing. i believe tt love doesnt just happen. like.. it doesnt just drop on u from the sky like in the road runner cartoons where the fox tries to drop the huge thing on the roadrunner. love is more like a tree. there's a seed. it needs to be sowed(acquaintance). care for it, tend to it, give it water; it grows(friendship). careful not too much water.. plants die with too much (just like love dies with extreme obsession). tenderness (courtship). time.. u need time for the tree to grow (relationship). and finally, the perfect summer day comes, the right conditions and flowers on the tree blooms ( love).

i guess for most of us the most hazy, foggy, misty, ill-defined part - the part tt causes the most confusion, is the relationship part. but time sows deep roots in trees, just as it does in relationship.. and therefore, time, times and timeliness is quintessential as to whether or not a relationship will bloom.

so if u think u are in love then just be confident about it. like.. for me, i know tt im not confident tt im in love. partly bcoz of wat happened in the past and partly because im young. im 20. i still wanna fool around. but i know tt he'll wait for me, patiently. i know tt altho he has a chance of being hurt just by seeing me around other guys, he is wiling to take tt chance. i know tt he feels something for me cos they say tt "when u love something so bad, u are willing to let it go". and just being this kind of person makes him very special.

but if YOU think YOU are ready to settle down and tt u've seen enough of the world, then just DO it. coz if u are really in love, i dont see y u have to check to ur left and right and seek ppl;s opinions of whether u are really in love or not.

SO, i guess when it all boils down, i realise that there is really no definition to the word "love". its as ambiguous as the number of sand particles on siloso beach. everyone has a different interpretation. and no one can say who's right and who's wrong. its just between u and ur man/girl. and tts wat's really important. that the 2 of u come to a consensus about how u feel about each other. honestly.

as for me, im just happy to have someone who accepts me exactly the way i am.

i leave u with a spontaneous haiku.

love is like a tree

sow the seed and care for it

watch it grow and bloom

2006-06-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

there are somethings i just dont get.

for example, ppl who support england.

lets face it. the team is popular.. even favourite-d because of the impact EPL has on the overall soccer fanbase. but think again.. who are the players who make the epl interesting? manchester utd.. van nistelroy(dutch), forlan(uruguayan - ps. i loveee his hair), ronaldo(portuguese). arsenal, henry(french), pires(french), ljunberg(swede). chelsea, peter cech(czech republic), drogba(ivory coast), crespo(argentine). and those are the top teams. even the lower ranked teams need int'l players to keep it interesting. tink tottenham hotspurs' robbie keane (irish).

its like ppl have this warped imagery of things.. word associations even when the two things dont really have anything in common. in OB we call it illusory correlation. (fck la. i got onli B+ for OB tho i studied hard for it. damn fctuped la.)

ok. so u might argue tht its the managemnt style and training of the english teams is maybe wat makes them so successful. but look again at the so called "succesful" managers - mourinho (portuguese), ferguson (scottish), arsene wenger (french). even if u look at the management team itself, including the training coach, the goalie coach, the assistant coach and wat not, u realise its all international talents. only the reserve team coaches are english. really. go do some fact checking.

im not saying that english players are not fantastic. they are. tink the veterans, alan shearer, ryan giggs, robbie fowler, teddy sheringham etc etc. fantastic. beckham as a captain n a free kick/corner taker. extremely good. owen as a striker. fast n furious. the young guns like rooney, kieren dyer, scholes.. and then u have the hard working ppl who get no notice at all, like John Arne Riise.

im just saying they're not half as fantastic as the likes of zizou(though he is pretty old now), raul, messi, ronaldho and of course they're no where near the likes of ronaldhino.

so my point is i really dunno y ppl (and by ppl i actually am trying to say GIRLS and some faggot DUDES who dunno anything about soccer) are supporting england. and sorta making a big hoohah over it. like. if u wanna support someone, support togo or ivory coast or sthg. at least u dont really have to come up with reasons for supporting them. u can just say coz u like supporting underdogs or sth.

haiya. actuali i oso dunno much about soccer la. i got hooked on soccer after the 1998 world cup after watching zidane play. then i followed him to real madrid where i was introduced to mr iker casillas (*screams!!!*), mr raul gonzalez, mr luis figo, mr roberto carlos, mr claude makelele and soon, mr ronaldo. like. the dream team la..

hey.. tt time i knew evryone in the squad k.. scolari, salgado, steve mc manaman etc.. then the captain.. that old fogey.. tink he retire already la.. aiya, forgot his name.. really la.. the team made me realise tt soccer really transcends cultures, languages, political differences etc. n as i watched more games i realise tt the styles of the leagues vary.. frm the fast paced la liga to the individual skills serie a to the management structure type epl and the rojak rojak uefa cup.

so... when u learn all these things u feel kinda funny to see ppl supporting england cos u sorta know tt there are way way better teams out there especially on a national level. brazil, france, holland, italy, spain, germany, argentina, just to name a few.

but aiya. dunno la hor. maybe sometimes its just easier to go along with the crowd.

ps: i support bosnia. can?

2006-06-05T13:26:00.000+08:00

"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?"

Juliet cries these words into the night, having just met and fallen in love with Romeo of the Montague family, sworn enemy of her own (Capulet) family. This famous line has been misunderstood through popular history, with comedic interpretations showing Juliet glancing about her garden, looking for her Romeo.

The truth - It is not where, but why, she asks: why are you Romeo and a Montague, my father's enemy? Their love is made impossible by their names, and Juliet ponders this situation from her balcony, "Deny thy father and refuse thy name/Or it thou wilt not be, be but sworn my love,/And I'll no longer be a Capulet."

moving. but will u be willing to give up ur family for "love"? inverted commas coz i still have my doubts.

the presence of her objection can be felt however subtle. maybe to her, this juliet is simply not good enough for dear romeo.

can the modern day romeo n juliet conquer this? i dont know.

for now, happy faces and nonchalance please..

ps: both romeo n juliet died.